North American Tournament
by Brachylagus-fandom
Summary: To better promote international harmony, there is a fourth school in the Triwizard Tournament: Liberty Institute for Magical Education. However, the magical society in the US and Canada is very different from Britain, and Britain is definitely not on top. Bashing of magical Britain in general. Goblet of Fire. Canon divergence. Rating is for language/mild violence. HHr and Fred/OC.
1. Letters of Some Importance

_Dear Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore,_

 _On matters of the tournament, I must inform you of one possible change. I am sure you know of the Liberty Institute for Magical Education. If you do not, they are the Hogwarts of the North American Colonies. They have recently petitioned to be included in the Triwizard Tournament on the grounds that their school has gained international acclaim since the last tournament. They are appealing their exclusion based on Clause C, Paragraph Two._

 _Regrettably, I cannot deny their inclusion on those grounds, as Clause B, Paragraph Two clearly states that any strictly magical school with international acclaim can be added at a later date via petition from when the next tournament is announced to one month before the drawing of the names. You cannot deny Liberty's international acclaim, as students from around the world flock for its summer courses (despite the raised costs for foreigners) and its wins of several international wizarding events, including a sweep of all under-18 dueling categories._

 _I know it breaks tradition, but we must allow them to enter. At least we can show our superiority through this opportunity._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Bartemius Crouch, Senior,_

 _Head,_

 _Department of International Magical Cooperation,_

 _Ministry of Magic, Britain_

* * *

 _Dear Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore,_

 _After being told my request was approved by your Mr. Crouch, we felt we should write you to formally declare Liberty's entrance into the Triwizard Tournament. We have personally selected twenty-four candidates for our school who have agreed to participate. The list is as follows:_

 _Allen, Edith_

 _Anderson, Daniel_

 _Baker, Laura_

 _Carter, Julia_

 _Clark, James_

 _Clark, Mackenzie_

 _Falk, Emily_

 _Garcia, Jesse_

 _Hall, Kayla_

 _Harris, Amber_

 _Hill, Nathan_

 _Jackson, Isi_

 _Jackson, Nita_

 _King, Logan_

 _Lee, Richard_

 _Lewis, Sean_

 _Martin, Connor_

 _Nelson, Amy_

 _Nelson, Brian_

 _Robinson, Mackenzie_

 _Smith, Michael_

 _Smith, Sara_

 _Volkov, Irina_

 _Walker, Elizabeth_

 _In addition, there are twelve students who would not be competing, but we feel should come to the tournament for educational purposes. They are listed below._

 _Bailey, Devin_

 _Bell, Cole_

 _Campbell, Katherine_

 _Cox, Riley_

 _Edwards, Jessica_

 _Goff, Margaret_

 _Kim, Roy_

 _Koelbel, Erik_

 _Mitchell, Samuel_

 _Murphy, Ian_

 _Philips, Alexis_

 _Turner, Ashley_

 _We would like to thank you again for this incredible opportunity. We look forward to your reply and to October 31st._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Jeanette MacDonald and Anne Mattews,_

 _Co-Headmistresses,_

 _Liberty Institute for Magical Education,_

 _United States and Canada_

* * *

 _Dear Misses MacDonald and Matthews,_

 _Hogwarts would be delighted to host all thirty-six of your students. We await your arrival October 30th at 6 p.m._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore_

* * *

 **So this is the start of a new story, where the thoughts "I want to poke magical Britain with my logic stick" and "I want to write about American Wizardry" came together.**

 **There will be a poll up on my profile to vote for the Liberty Champion.**

 **The names here are mostly pulled from a list of Top 1000 Last Names in the US (there wasn't on for Canada) and Top 100 Names of Births in 1995 for the US and Canada. However, a few of the names were picked to resemble historical figures. In addition, my first and last names are somewhere in the list. Review or PM me with whichever of those little Easter eggs you find and you might get input into plot points if you're right. If you know me in real life, you aren't allowed to guess my name, and will make me irritated if you do. Remember, I know your usernames.**

 **This story takes place in 2014, 10 years after it technically happened in the books, to make the author's points a little bit easier to make, because I am slightly lazy and a full-time student taking all advanced classes.**


	2. Announcements of Some Importance

_**Liberty Newsletter - August 2014**_

 _Dear Parents,_

 _This year, our school has been selected to compete in the Triwizard Tournament as a fourth school. We did discuss doing this in spring, but this letter has been sent as confirmation of your child's participation in this year-long field trip._

 _For those who do not, the Triwizard Tournament is an ancient competition between Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, and Durmstrang held once every five years. However, it has been cancelled for several centuries due to an exorbitantly high death toll. While current information from the British Ministry of Magic says that this year's tournament will be "safe", entering still carries a great deal of risk, even beyond those that come from being in Magical Britain._

 _On the request of students, the United Nations (Magical side), and twelve members of the ICW, a petition was sent for us to be included in the competition this year for a variety of tasks, including seeing the state of affairs of magical Britain. Twenty-four applicants have been selected as candidates based on their strengths and ages; no matter who is selected, they are expected to offer the champion aid. In addition, twelve of the applicants for the study program have been selected, and will be spending the year at Hogwarts taking their regular classes in addition to certain Hogwarts courses that they will pick and be allowed to take based on skill level and merit._

 _The students going are as follows:_

 _Edith Allen, 18, candidate_

 _Daniel Anderson, 17, candidate_

 _Devin Bailey, 16, student_

 _Laura Baker, 18, candidate_

 _Cole Bell, 13, student_

 _Katherine Campbell, 12, student_

 _Julia Carter, 17, candidate_

 _James Clark, 17, candidate_

 _Mackenzie Clark, 17, candidate_

 _Riley Cox, 16, student (candidate if drawing is delayed)_

 _Jessica Edwards, 15, student_

 _Emily Falk, 18, candidate_

 _Jesse Garcia, 18, candidate_

 _Margaret Goff, 15, student_

 _Kayla Hall, 18, candidate_

 _Amber Harris, 18, candidate_

 _Nathan Hill, 17, candidate_

 _Isi Jackson, 18, candidate_

 _Nita Jackson, 17, candidate_

 _Roy Kim, 14, student_

 _Logan King, 18, candidate_

 _Erik Koelbel, 16, student_

 _Richard Lee, 17, candidate_

 _Sean Lewis, 18, candidate_

 _Connor Martin, 17, candidate_

 _Samuel Mitchell, 14, student_

 _Ian Murphy, 14, student_

 _Amy Nelson, 17, candidate_

 _Brian Nelson, 18, candidate_

 _Alexis Phillips, 15, student_

 _Mackenzie Robinson, 17, candidate_

 _Michael Smith, 17, candidate_

 _Sara Smith, 18, candidate_

 _Ashley Turner, 13, student_

 _Irina Volkov, 17, candidate_

 _Elizabeth Walker, 17, candidate_

 _If you protest your child's name on this list, send an email to jeanettemacdonald or annematthews (depending on your nationality) with "Tournament" in the subject line. Otherwise, teachers and deputes will pick up the students at 3:30 p.m. on October 30th so that we can arrive at Hogwarts by 6:00 p.m. in Dorothy._

 _In addition, I would like to congratulate several students for accomplishments over the summer. In the International Dueling Association's annual competition this year, we placed high in all categories. Below are the results:_

 _Under-12 competitions:_

 _solo - Katherine Campbell (first place), Devin Bailey (second place), Phoebe Jones (third place). Melissa Rosenfeld (fifth place), Margit Frank (eighth place), Susanna McKinnon (ninth place), John Meyers (twelfth place), and Barbara Jordan (fifteenth place) Of the 200+ competitors, 53 Liberty students made it to 64-semifinals. Of those, 27 advanced to 32-semifinals, and a whopping 9 to 16-semifinals._

 _tag teams - Nikolai and Veronika Volkov(first place), Cole Bell and Carter Wright (third place), Marjorie Rodriguez and Maria Juarez (fourth place)_

 _Teenage Competitors:_

 _solo - Brian Nelson (first place), Laura Baker (second place), Angel Sullivan(fourth place), Carrie Wood(eighth place), Jane Oliver (ninth place)_

 _tag teams - Isi and Nita Jackson (first place), Margaret Goff and Roy Kim (second place), Jane and Jean Gray(fourth place), Mackenzie and James Clark (sixth place), Madeline and Elizabeth Walker (tenth place)_

 _In addition, our students placed Liberty Institute third in the world overall in magical education, according to the International Examination Board's most recent batch of M.A.R.E.s (Magical Advancement and Ranking Exams). We were first in both Charms and Transfiguration, second in potions and Arithmancy, third in Care of Magical Creatures, and fourth in History. Considering how nonmagical schools in the U.S. rank against the world in various subjects, this is an unqualified success that proves our students work diligently at Liberty and that our curriculum is to a very high standard. The schools that beat us over all are Manchukuo in Japan and Koldovstoretz in Russia, which both have highly competitive admission and require students to focus exclusively in magical subjects._

 _School starts on the 17th. If you do not know the start time for your school, contact the school or look it up on the website_ : libertyinstitute . ma

* * *

 **So, this is chapter 1. It's short, and isn't really a chapter. This focuses on Liberty. It redeclares the candidates (the poll is up on my profile, vote please) and taggers-on. In addition, it provides backup for those students being chosen and for Liberty to be able to pull the clause I made up. It also contains more name jokes, in addition to the ones in the prologue. You can review or PM me the answers. I would like to thank my beta/BFF, Emmyann.**

 **I would like to remind/tell readers that this story is me poking magical Britain with my logic stick, and this poking will be on the MoM/purebloods in particular. Also, the language warning will kick in when the Liberty students arrive at Hogwarts. You can review/PM me specific points you want to be brought up. .ma is my made-up domain for magical websites.**


	3. Speeches of Some Importance

**I do own Goblet of Fire. It's an American First Edition, hardback, and the back cover has fallen off. This chapter is basically pulled verbatim from GoF. The poll for candidate is still up, and the reference contest is still running. Check the first two chapters to do that one, there aren't any in here. I would like to thank my BFF Beta, Emmyann, for her help, and Frances for looking it over yesterday. Read and review, please!**

* * *

"So! Now that we are all fed and watered, I must once more ask for your attention, while I give out a few notices. Mr Filch, the caretaker, has asked me the tell you that the list of objects forbidden inside the castle has this year been extended to include Screaming Yo-yos, Fanged Frisbees, and Ever-Bashing Boomerangs. The full list comprises some four hundred and thirty-seven items, I believe, and can be viewed in Mr. Filch's office, if anybody would like to check it.

"As ever, I would like to remind you all that the forest on the grounds is out-of-bounds to students, as is the village of Hogsmeade the all below third year.

"It is also my painful duty to inform you that the Inter-House Quidditch Cup will not take place this year. This is due to an event that will be starting in October, and continuing throughout the school year, taking up much of the teacher's time and energy - but I am sure you will all enjoy it immensely. I have great pleasure in announcing that this year at Hogwarts-" The doors banged open and a grizzled man walked in.

"May I introduce our New Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher? Professor Moody. As I was saying, we are to have the honor of hosting a very exciting even over the coming months, an event that has not been held for over a century. It is my very great pleasure to inform you that the Triwizard Tournament will be taking place at Hogwarts this year." Cries of "You're joking!" echoed through the hall.

"I am not joking, Mr. Weasley, though now that you mention it, I did hear an excellent one over the summer about a troll, and hag, and a leprechaun who all go into a bar… Er - but maybe this is not the time… no… Where was I? Ah yes, the Triwizard Tournament… well, some of you will not know what the tournament involves, so I hope those who do know will forgive me for giving a short explanation, and allow their attention to wander freely.

"The Triwizard Tournament was first established some 700 years ago as a friendly competition between the three largest European schools of wizardry: Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, and Durmstrang. A champion was selected to represent each school, and the three champions competed in three magical tasks. The schools took it in turns to host the tournament once every five years, and it was generally agreed to be a most excellent way of establishing ties between young witches and wizards of different nationalities - until, that is, the death toll mounted so high that the tournament was discontinued. There have been several attempts over the centuries to reinstate the tournament, none of which have been successful. However, our own departments of International Magical Cooperation and Magical Games and Sports have decided that the time is ripe for another attempt. In addition, another school, the Liberty Institute for Magical Education, which is based in the United States and Canada. We have worked hard over the summer to ensure that his time, no champion will find himself or herself in mortal danger. The heads of Liberty, Beauxbatons, and Durmstrang will be arriving with their short-listed contenders in October, and the selection of the three champions will take place at Halloween. An impartial judge will decide which students are most worthy to compere for the Triwizard Cup, the glory of their school, and a thousand Galleons prize money." There was excited muttering.

"Eager though I know all of you will be to bring the Triwizard Cup to Hogwarts, the heads of the participating schools, along with the Ministry of Magic, have agreed to impose an age restriction on contenders this year. Only students who are of age - that is to say, 17 or older - will be allowed to put forward their names for consideration This is a measure we feel is necessary, given that the tournament tasks will still be difficult and dangerous, whatever precautions we take, and it is highly unlikely that students below sixth and seventh year will be able to cope with them. I will personally be ensuring that no underage student hoodwinks our impartial judge into making them Hogwarts champion. I therefore beg you not to waste your time submitting yourself fim you are under 17.

"The delegations from Liberty, Beauxbatons, and Durmstrang will be arriving in October and remaining with us for the greater part of this year. I know that you will all extend every courtesy to our foreign guests while they are with us, and will give your whole-hearted support to the Hogwarts champion where he or she is selected. And no, it is late, and I know how important it is to you all to be alert and rested as you enter your lessons tomorrow morning. Bedtime! Chop chop!"


	4. Arrivals of Some Importance

**Sorry for not posting last week, I had volunteer stuff. So, the schools show up in this chapter. Poll for Liberty Champion is still up on my profile. Next week comes starting dinner. Read and Review!**

* * *

"Aha! Unless I am very much mistaken, the delegation from Beauxbatons approaches!" Dumbledore announced.

"Where?" many students eagerly asked.

"There!" a sixth year yelled, pointing over the forest.

"It's a dragon!" a first year shrieked. Something much larger than a broomstick was hurtling through the sky towards the castle.

"Don't be stupid… it's a flying house!" Dennis Creevey yelled. Dennis was closer; it was, in fact, a powder-blue carriage pulled by a dozen massive winged horses. The carriage crashed into the ground. The students had just enough time to see the coat of arms on the door before it opened and a woman who was at least eight feet tall stepped out. Dumbledore began to clap; the students followed his lead.

"Dear Madame Maxime," Dumbledore said, "welcome to Hogwarts."

"Dumbly-dorr," Madame Maxine said in a surprisingly deep voice, "I hope I find you well?"

"In excellent form, I thank you."

"My pupils." The students who stepped out of the carriage wore powder-blue silk robes and shivered. "'As Karkaroff arrived yet?"

"He should be here any moment. Would you like to wait here and greet him or would you prefer to step inside and warm up a trifle?"

"Warm up, I think But ze horses-"

"Our Care of Magical Creatures will be delighted to take care of them the moment he has returned from dealing with a slight situation that has arisen with some of his other - er - charges." A distinct muttering of "skrewts" could be heard.

"My steeds require - er - forceful handling. Zey are very strong…"

"I assure you that Hagrid will be well up to the job."

"Very will. Will you please inform zis 'Agrid zat ze horses drink only single-malt whiskey?"

It will be attended to."

"Come." Madame Maxime beckoned her students into the castle.

"How big d'you reckon Durmstrang's horses are going to be?" Seamus Finnigan asked.

"Well, if they're any bigger than this lot, even Hagrid won't be able to handle them," Harry replied. "That's if he hasn't been attacked by his skrewts. Wonder what's up with them?"

"Maybe they've escaped," Ron suggested.

"Oh, don't say that," Hermione shuddered. "Imagine that lot loose on the grounds…"

"Can you hear something? Ron asked suddenly.

"The lake!" Lee Jordan yelled. "Look at the lake!" Some disturbance was taking place deep in the center of the lake. Slowly, a ship rose out of the depths. People disembarked; Harry noticed that all of them seemed to be built along the lines of Crabbe and Goyle… However, as they drew nearer, it became clear that the bulk was due to cloaks of shaggy fur. The man who lead them wore furs that were as sleek and silver as his hair.

"Dumbledore!" the man called heartily. "How are you, my dear fellow, how are you?"

"Blooming, thank you, Professor Karkaroff," Dumbledore replied. When Karkaroff reached him, they shook hands.

"Dear old Hogwarts," Karkaroff said, smiling up at the castle. "How good it is to be here, how good… Viktor, come along, into the warmth, you don't mind, Dumbledore? Viktor has a slight head cold…" As they saw the figure behind him, people muttered in amazement that Krum was still a student.

"Of course not, Igor, we are just waiting for the Americans to show up…"

* * *

The students scanned the skies and lake, waiting for the last school to show. Suddenly, a Hufflepuff girl shouted, "There! Over there! It's Dorothy's house!" She pointed to the sky about fifty feet above an unoccupied area of lawn, where a two-story, white clapboard house was slowly spinning as it descended. Gently, the house settled onto the grass and people began to pour out. There were two adults in full robes, but the students were wearing open-faced black robes over jeans and t-shirts. The t-shirts were either gray or black, and had a common insignia: a golden five-pointed star, with three smaller stars in red, white, and blue arcing down to the right and three in red, white, and red arcing down to the left, forming a half-circle. Underneath the arc was the phrase "Liberty Institute". Beyond that, little united the students; they exhibited a wide variety of body types and lineages. The two adults, a tall black man and short brunette woman, stepped forwards.

"Hello, I am Deputy Johnson and this is Co-Headmistress Matthews," the man introduced. "Co-Headmistress MacDonald wishes to apologize for missing this event, but someone with her status and skills must remain on the other side of the pond to deal with bureaucracy. Out of thousands, we have picked best and brightest to compete and twelve others to observe another culture. Thank you for hosting us."


	5. Discussions of Some Importance

**Long Chapter! I do not own Harry Potter, Babylon 5, Sean Bean, or Mr. Bean. All the Liberty kids are mine though.**

* * *

Unlike the other schools, the Liberty students split into groups of four or five and settled at every table. Also unlike the others, they were just as cheerful and loud as the Hogwarts students. A group of four settled right next to Harry and Hermione. Up close, they noticed that there was a line of patches going down their right sleeves.

"Howdy!" A tiny blond girl shouted. "I'm Liz Walker."

"I'm Mack Robinson," A girl with short red hair said. "Forgive Hillbilly over here. She gets excited."

"I ain't not no stinkin' hillbilly!" Liz argued.

"Is that even English?" a girl with wavy brown hair asked. "Oh, I'm Emily Falk, nice to meetcha."

"I'm pretty sure that sentence had three negatives and one non-word," a black girl pointed out. "Dang, you wouldn't know English if you got hit with a dictionary. Alexis Phillips."

"I'm southern, I can use triple negatives," Liz protested.

"Whatever, Hillbilly." Mack rolled her eyes. "So, what about yous?"

"I'm Hermione, this is Harry, that's Seamus and Dean, he's Ronald, and those two are Fred and George," Hermione said confidently. Ooh, Bouillabaisse!"

"Is this French fish gumbo?" Liz asked. Hermione looked offended.

"Hillbilly," Mack muttered. "It's obviously weird chowder!"

"It doesn't matter; S.U.A.E.I.," Alexis said.

"S.U.A.E.I.?" Hermione asked.

"Shut Up And Eat It," all four girls chorused.

"It's a motto of the summer camps," Emily explained. "Considering that a lot of that food is pretty gross, it makes sense." Ron was absently eating food while glaring at the Slytherin table.

"Stupid snakes, stealing Krum," Ron muttered. The four Liberty girls all turned to glare at him. Emily rolled her eyes.

"Amy and Laura would have given you such lectures," Liz muttered under her breath.

"What for?" Ron asked, mouth full of food.

"They're very justice-oriented," Emily explained. "There were so many things wrong with your statement."

"Like what?"

"One, do not eat and talk at the same time," Mack began. "Two, generalizing Slytherins as 'slimy snakes'. Three, the unrealistic assumption that they 'stole' Krum. Do any of you speak any Slavic tongue or German?" Seamus, Dean, and Harry shook their heads, while Hermione nodded slightly.

"Why would that matter?"

"I'll take that as a no. Has it occurred to you that a decent proportion of the Durmstrang students don't speak English very well, and maybe some of the Slytherins speak their native or learned tongues?"

"Why wouldn't they speak English?" Ron sounded genuinely confused. Dumbledore began to give a welcoming speech.

"They're from fucking Post-Soviet states," Alexis replied. "Why would they speak English?"

"You're just saying that to defend your traitors." It was the girls' turn to look confused. "They're sitting with the stinking snakes!"

"Oh, 'Rina?" Emily asked. "Her cousin goes to Durmstrang." Indeed, the tiny brunette was sitting next to boy who was somewhat taller and bulkier in Durmstrang robes. "Edith, Laura, Amber, and Margaret are in her group."

"Her cousin's a dark wizard?" Ron asked. Eight heads smacked open palms.

"Generalization again. How many Durmstrang students have you met? Stereotypes rarely are close to the truth," Emily said very slowly, as if talking to a child. "Ivan's basically a socially awkward teenager."

"He's trying to trick you! He's a bloody dark wizard! Anyone who sits with those snakes is a dark wizard!" Ron yelled. The entire hall fell silent before a Liberty student at the Hufflepuff table decided to say something.

"Ames, Laura, there's an idiot over here for you to educate," a well-built boy yelled. The Liberty students snorted.

"Kinda guessed that, Sean," a Liberty girl at the Ravenclaw table yelled back. "It's AMY, not Ames!"

"Whatever!"

"You're an asshole, Mr. Bean!"

"Don't call me that!"

"Sean, Amy, stop, now," Headmistress Matthews muttered darkly. The pair immediately quieted. "Irina, draw that wand and you will be taken home."

"But Headmistress-"

"We are not breaking international treaties, Ms. Volkov."

"Yes, Headmistress." After that, the girl muttered something to the Durmstrang students next to her, who nodded.

"We are not encouraging others to break international treaties, Ms. Volkov," Dumbledore said.

"I wasn't encouraging them. Since you obviously don't know Russian, I was telling them to not kill the redheaded idiot who is currently throwing democracy back by half a century," Irina said.

"What do you mean by that statement?"

"During the Cold War, people living behind the Iron Curtain were treated as criminals on the other side," another Liberty student piped up.

"What is-"

"Students of Liberty, report back to Dorothy before you cause an international incident," Deputy Johnson said. "Now, please." Dumbledore looked decidedly uncomfortable as he began to speak.

"Ahem. Moving on, the moment has come. The Triwizard Tournament is about to begin. I would like to say a few words of explanation before we bring in the casket…"

* * *

"Okay, this place is really weird," one girl said.

"Yes, Jess, yes it is," Headmistress Matthews replied. "However, it is much worse than I expected. The level of bigotry and small-mindedness shown, in addition to complete unknowing of modern history, is quite troubling."

"Something is wrong," Sean said. "Even if they just gave up the nonmagical world, the Iron Curtain would have fallen before a majority of them went to Hogwarts. How do you live only in the magic world?"

"New society, new rules," Irina pointed out. "Just because it's so at home doesn't mean it's so here. Societal conventions vary widely."

"Yeah, 'Rina, we've heard this lecture many times before," one of the boys drawled.

"It still holds purpose," Irina argued.

"I think we're impressively well-rounded in social justice, thanks to you three," another replied.

"Yeah, we can recite definitions of common fallacies from memory," a younger girl added.

"The scary part is that the Hogwarts students don't seems to know what a fallacy is, or recognize a gap in logic at all," an older boy commented. "Not even Edith could keep a straight face, and she has the world's best deadpan."

"I learned that to keep from laughing when we did cadences in JROTC," a blond girl pointed out. "It has nothing to do with scowling."

"Those two skills are most likely related."

"Clearly, you have not heard JROTC practice cadences before, Isi."

"Back to the point at hand," Irina said loudly. "We might be the last shot these kids have at seeing the truth. Let's use it wisely."

"We're their last best hope?" a young girl asked.

"We are the last best hope for peace," an older student deadpanned.

"Enough with the B5 references!" Deputy Johnson yelled. "Yes, we are their last chance at democracy."

"What the literal hell?" Mag asked. "We're a bunch of fucking kids, some of whom are fucked up beyond repair! Why are we their last chance?"

"Because you're young," Headmistress Matthews explained, "you see the world differently. We have no hope of changing the adults, but children are and have always been the future. If we can change their minds, we can change their society."

"Why is there a 'magical' Britain, though?" Isi asked. "Why would their magical population be segregated like that?"

"Fear," Irina guessed. "Europe's magical societies hid to survive witch hunts. Magical Britain still lives in fear of nonmagical people. So, they set up laws keeping them away. They pass that fear down and block people without it from power. The children of nonmagical birth cannot find jobs in the world they were born into because they gave it up to go to Hogwarts. They kept that fear after others dropped it. By the Industrial Revolution, most of Europe began to desectionalize, but Britain didn't. The Statute of Secrecy they claims keeps them safe was nullified in 1945. They've trapped themselves in their own fear so badly that it can never be unshaken."

"Thank you, commander Ivanova," two people muttered.

"It's the truth," Irina said bluntly. "This society is about as democratic as North Korea, though much more liked."

"So, we're trying to reprogram the youth of a corrupt country that probably considers us a Great Satan of some sort?" Edith guessed. "Yes, Amy, I know Lamia and her brothers do not like that phrase, but it gets the point across that we are supposedly a Big Bad Guy That Needs To Go Away."

"That about sums up our situation," Headmistress Matthews agreed.

"Magical Britain is so screwed," one girl cackled.

"What makes you say that, Mack?" Deputy Johnson asked.

"We're going to change them," Mack explained. "Whether it's New Deal change or Sherman's March change remains to be seen."

* * *

 **Thanks to my beta, Emmyann, this story is grammatically correct(ish), as I rewrite and forget to delete. Review, vote in the poll, play spot-the-reference, and maybe follow & favorite.**

 **For the confused:**

 **Triple negative: double negative plus another negative. Functions as a negative. If you're southern, you can use them. The one I didn't make up that I've heard is "ain't no never mine".**

 **Gumbo and chowder are both US soups with seafood as the meat ingredient.**

 **The Slavic tongue or German thing: apparently, German is a common language in Eastern Europe, where Durmstrang supposedly is.**

 **JROTC: Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps - it's a military training-type thing. If you're a US citizen in HS or college, they're the ones in the dorky uniforms at least once a week. Cadences are when you repeat, line by line, a chant thing after the leader. Real cadences include "Everywhere we go, people want to know, who we are, so we tell them, we are [school mascot], mighty might [school mascot]." Practice cadences include "One by one we had some fun, all day and all through the night, two by two we did the do, all day and all through the night."**

 **B5: short for Babylon 5, a now-defunct science fiction show that ran for 5 seasons in the '90s. There is a copy in my house, so I've seen three seasons of it. It's cool.**

 **Nullified in 1945: Technically, it would be October 28, 1945 (formation of UN).**

 **New Deal: created by President Franklin Roosevelt. Partially brought US out of Great Depression.**

 **Sherman's March: troop movement headed by General Sherman in the Civil War. They marched through Georgia and lived off/destroyed everything they found.**


	6. Observations of Some Importance

**Short Chapter! I own nothing but Liberty Institute and its amazing little students. Drawing of the names is next. I'm posting a new poll with the top candidates today. Please read and review!**

* * *

The next day was thankfully a Saturday, enabling the Liberty and Durmstrang students to manage their jet lag and adjust to the time difference; the Durmstrang students were three hours ahead, and the Liberty students were anywhere from three to eight hours behind. In an effort to get themselves on track, several tired-looking students trooped in at seven or eight in the morning, depositing their names into the cup and then drinking coffee or tea. By the time Hogwarts students filtered into the hall, a number of teenagers with dark circles under their eyes were glaring at them.

"Anyone put their name in?" Ron asked eagerly.

"All the Durmstrang and some of the Liberty lot," a third year girl replied. "But I haven't seen anyone from Hogwarts yet."

"Bet some of them put it in last night after we'd all gone to bed," Harry guessed. "I would've if it had been me… wouldn't have wanted everyone watching. What if the goblet just gobbed you right back out again?"

"It can't," a yawning girl with deeply tanned skin explained. "It can only spit out one name per school, and only once the entries have been collected. The others burn inside the cup."

"How do you know?" Ron asked rudely.

"It was an example in Enchanting Objects, Level 2," the girl replied evenly.

"Done it," Fred triumphantly declared. "Just taken it." He, George, and Lee walked to the Age Line.

"Taken what?" Ron asked.

"Aging Potion, dung brains," George replied. "One drop each. We only need to be a few months older."

"We'll split the prize between us if one wins," Lee explained.

"This won't work, you know," Hermione declared. "I'm sure Dumbledore will have thought of this."

"Good luck," a couple of the transfers singsonged.

"Ready?" Fred asked, quivering with excitement. "C'mon, then - I'll go first-" Fred jumped past the age line, George quickly following. Within a minute, both were ejected wildly, sporting rather fantastic beards. The transfers burst out laughing. One raised a cell phone.

"Hold still - I've gotta send this to Lamia," the boy holding the phone chuckled. "She's going to love this!"'

"Lamia?" George asked.

"She's a friend of ours who has parents regrettably suffering from common sense and good risk assessment," the tanned girl explained. "With those beards, you look like one of her uncles."

"I thought she didn't come because of the food thing, Nita," the boy holding the phone said.

"No, the food thing was Jean, Jane, and Esther, Mike," Nita explained. "Though, now that you point it out, the food thing would make sense."

"Food thing?"

"Jean, Jane, and Esther are observant Jews; Lamia and her brothers are observant Muslims," Nita elaborated.

"Their religions have special diets," Mike added. "All of them are highly accomplished, especially for girls of their backgrounds and stature-"

"That's a gentle way of putting it," Irina muttered.

"- but there's no easy way for them to keep up their religious codes over here, so they couldn't come. Well, that and the fact they're minors and their parents are protective."

"Shouldn't we also warn Riley?" Mack asked. A cough came from a corner, where a sulking girl was trying to hide a long beard. "Ah. Too late."

"Don't. I know what you're about to say. Don't," Riley threatened.

"You should be more responsible," Edith said.

"I know, I know, but one chance… I'm only a day too young…"

"You're still too young, and this isn't a game, Riley. Headmistress Macdonald would've killed you for doing something like that! We're trying not to cause an international incident! You need to be careful. People get killed in this tournament, and I don't want you to die." Riley sighed.

"All I wanted was the same bloody chance. I know the dangers, Edith. I'm not a fucking child. I'm seventeen tomorrow. I'm sorry, it's just not fair that you can enter and I can't."

"I know. Just remember, there has only been one tournament to date where everyone left alive."

* * *

 **This concludes this week's chapter. I will almost definitely be unable to post the week after next because I will have a car wash, concert, and super-scary inspection coming up. This might hinder my ability to post next week, too.**

 **I hope you like the shade thrown on the Tournament. It is described as being very blatantly dangerous, and (besides the champions and general crowd) nine people could have very easily died in Goblet of Fire.**

 **Observant Jews all keep kosher law to some extent, and observant Muslims keep Halal to some extent. I seriously doubt Hogwarts would have the ability to follow even the moderate version of either set (since they're functionally identical). Hogwarts regularly serves bacon and ham, which are big no-nos. At the welcoming feast, they serve bouillabaisse, which contains shellfish, another big no-no. In addition to these, there are several other foods and food combinations that can't be eaten, and all food must be prepared a specific way. Considering that there are few Jews or Muslims in the UK, Hogwarts would probably not understand how either worked (I barely do, and I have access to google) and would not be able to provide accommodations for either.**


	7. Selections of Some Importance

**New Chapter! My life had somewhat gone back to normal, so I'm back posting. I know this one's pretty short, but drama declares that this is where the chapter should end. Read and review!**

* * *

The Liberty students, as always, had simply picked whichever house they felt like sitting at. There was a notable gap between Ron and any of the transfers, though. Dumbledore stood at a pulpit, examining the goblet next to him.

"Well, the goblet is almost ready to make its decision. I estimate that it requires one more minute. Now, when the champions' names are called, I would ask them please to come up to the top of the Hall, walk along the staff table, and go through into the next chamber, where they will be receiving their first instructions." Dumbledore gestured to a small side door.

"Any second..." Hermione muttered.

"The champion for Durmstrang will be Viktor Krum." The hall erupted into cheers.

"No surprises there!" Ron yelled.

"Bravo, Viktor! Knew you had it in you!" Karkaroff yelled. Several people looked at him cautiously. That man was incredibly creepy.

"Go, Viktor! Make us proud!" The Durmstrang students and a few Liberty, Beauxbatons, and Hogwarts students chanted.

"The champion for Beauxbatons is Fleur Delacour!" A stunningly beautiful blond girl rose amid applause and walked off.

"It's her, Ron!" Harry half-shouted.

"Is she part-Veela?" One person asked.

"I don't know. Part-Siren, maybe?" another muttered.

"Oh look, they're all disappointed," Hermione understated. Three Beauxbatons girls were sobbing, and two were on the verge of tears.

"The Hogwarts champion is Cedric Diggory!" The Hufflepuff rose as the hall was momentarily shocked silent before the entire Hufflepuff table burst into cheers.

"No," Ron groaned. Several others glared at him.

"GO CEDRIC! GO CEDRIC! PUFF PRIDE! PUFF PRIDE!" The entire Hufflepuff table, non-Hogwarts students included, screamed.

"The Liberty champion is Emily Falk."

"Aww…" One kid groaned.

"Go Emmy! REPRESENT!" The mass of Liberty students roared. Emily proudly walked into the room.

"Excellent! Well, we now have our four champions. I am sure I can count upon all of you, including the remaining students from Beauxbatons, Liberty, and Durmstrang, to give your champion every ounce of support you can muster. By cheering your champion on, you will contribute in a very real-" As the goblet coughed up another name, Headmistress Matthew's face visibly tightened, along with Hermione's, Angelina's, Fred's, George's, Katie's, and most of the Liberty students'.

"Harry Potter." Gasps echoed throughout the room as people realized just who had been called.

* * *

 **Yes, it's that chapter. Next time, the rant train visits its first station.**

 **For the part-Siren thing: sirens, at least in Homerian mythology, are beautiful women with enchanting voices, so part-Siren women could conceivably have the same effects as part-Veela women.**

 **All of the Hogwarts students whose faces tightened both have good relationships with Harry and can probably guess that the extra name is Harry's. The Liberty students know something is going on, and that adding another champion is probably not going to end well.**

 **Thanks to my beta, Emmyann, who is willing to put up with my insanity and is the only one who voted on the poll. Admittedly, I knew who she would most likely vote for, but it's the thought that counts. See y'all next week!**


	8. Rants of Some Importance

**Hello, welcome to this week's installment of North American Tournament. Last week, Harry was selected as a fifth champion. This week, we see that effects of that occurrence. I own nothing but Liberty and its wonderful students.**

* * *

Harry watched as Hermione's face grew hard and Ron glared at him. "Harry Potter." Shakily, Harry rose and walked into to side room, where he was met with shock by the other champions. Headmistress Matthew's face tightened.

"You were entered into this tournament?" Matthews asked. Harry nodded. "Did you enter yourself?" Harry shook his head. "Do you know how you were entered?" Harry shook his head. The Headmistress swore and turned on Dumbledore. "How the hell was he entered?"

"Madam, I implore you to understand-"

"You broke the specific rules set by your Ministry. There is nothing to understand. If it had been one of my students entered, you would be dead now."

"You must understand-"

"You're going to make him do the Tournament anyways, aren't you?" Emily asked. "He's a kid!"

"I'm not a kid," Harry grumbled. "I'm fourteen."

"Which is three years from being of age in the magical world, otherwise known as too young," Matthews snapped. "You are unprepared and unwary. There has been exactly one tournament that had a death toll of zero. All three of those champions, incidentally, were maimed. For the purposes of this, you are a child. Now, where is the precaution showing who entered the name or allowing withdrawal?

"There is no need for such frivolities" Dumbledore said.

"You're saying there's no failsafe," Matthews muttered. "There's no failsafe and a fourteen-year old is trapped in a death tournament. Are you insane, Dumbledore?" Harry looked at Matthews.

"Miss Matthews, young Harry must fulfill the contract of the Tournament."

"Why can't names be redrawn?" Fleur asked.

"That would be im-"

"It's been done four separate times," Matthews said flatly. "Has there been a rule change eliminating it?" Looking at Crouch, Matthews groaned. "You are such idiots."

"Madam-"

"You required all competitors to be adults and took out the escape clause. Now, there's a fourteen-year-old in your precious tournament with no choice out. I have no reason to correct my statement." Matthews glared at the two men. "You have endangered a child, possibly deliberately. That is unforgivable."

"Even if we could, letting Harry back out of the tournament, we do not know who entered him," Dumbledore argued.

"If he didn't enter himself," Crouch muttered.

"You're predator baiting with a kiddo?" Emily asked. At the strange looks, she elaborated. "To catch dangerous animals, you put out bait and wait for it to come to ya. Harry's bait." Dumbledore shook his head as Maxime nodded, looking angry.

"Dumbly-dorr, find a way to protect the boy," Maxime implored. "He has done nothing wrong."

"To protect Harry, we must catch whoever put him in the Tournament," Dumbledore explained, as if Maxime was a particularly dim three-year-old.

"Using a child as bait is reckless endangerment, not a strategy!" Still, there was no convincing the judges. As they left, Harry felt someone nudge up against him.

"Harry," Emily muttered in his ear, "If you need help, swing by Dorothy. We'll sort you out right. Bring along your friends, if you like." Harry shakily nodded. Were the only people helping him in here from another school? What had happened to his Hogwarts friends?

* * *

The Gryffindor Common Room was silent. Hermione was standing in a cleared space, obviously angry. Ron was lying prone a few feet away, clutching his nose. Most people had gone to bed. A majority of those left backed Ron. As Harry stepped through the portrait hole, Fred turned to him.

"Hey, Harry," Fred half-shouted. "Sorry about the mess, our brother's just gotten himself into a bit of a fix."

"What did he call Hermione this time?" Harry asked. Every few months, Ron would blow his mouth and upset Hermione. Harry was still unsure why Ron was his friend.

"Mudblood, bitch, mudblood bitch, cheater's whore… the usual," George replied.

"Why did she break his nose?"

"He decided you cheated your way into the Tournament," Angelina answered. "Speaking of which, do you have a plan?"

"Sort of," Harry replied. "Tomorrow morning, I'm going to start preparing."

"We'll help!" Katie suggested. "We don't want you to die."

"Sure," Harry replied. "We'll talk, but I'm also going to ask the Liberty students. I have a feeling they know some things we don't."

* * *

 **That's it for this week! I may have difficulty uploading next week, but I'll try my best. Thanks to my wonderful beta, EMMYANN, for putting up with my new ideas late at night. You will see the benefits of said discussion in the next couple of chapters.**

 **Dorothy is the Liberty quarters. It's a riff on Dorothy's house from the wizard of Oz, obviously.**

 **Apparently, this is how to trap/kill predators. I wouldn't know, but that's what Google told me. If you know this to be incorrect, tell me.**


	9. Lessons of Some Importance

**Hello, welcome to this week's installment of North American Tournament. Over 1,000 words this time! It actually was originally supposed to cut off after the line break, leaving it around the normal 700-800, but I didn't because I had five more days to complete it. Explanations at the end.**

* * *

Harry, Katie, and Hermione walked down to Dorothy after breakfast; Angelina and the Twins were searching the library and grounds for any clues or pretending to. Upon closer inspection, the house appeared to be an actual house built to code and made to be lived in, not a magical construction. The white sideboard shone from a recent wash and the door stood open. Around the house, some of the Liberty students lounged with large textbooks and at least one laptop. The one nearest them perked up.

"You must be Harry," The boy said on a soft Texan accent. He looked to be a year older than them, with blond hair and blue yes. "Erik Koelbel, nice to meet you. Emily's inside if you want to talk to her." The three nodded and continued on. True to Erik's word, Emily and several of the other candidates were sitting inside, discussing something. As they entered, Emily turned to them.

"Harry!" Emily cheered. "We were just talking about the Tournament. Julie and some friends back home have been researching the Tournament and, generally, the first task involves fighting a magical creature."

"Like trolls? Basilisks? Dementors? Werewolves?" Harry asked. Julia frowned at the oddly specific list. From her open laptop, a tinny voice rang out.

"That's an… oddly specific list. Maybe dementors or trolls on the weak end," the voice replied in an even tone. "Basilisks are illegal to breed by international law and werewolves have a risk of attacking spectators. Now that I think about it, dementors would be banned for that too."

"It would have to be a four or five X animal, though," another voice added. "First task has the highest death and maiming rate of champions. Did they drop hints on what kind of animal?"

"No. The wording was that, and I quote, 'the first task is designed to test your daring, so we are not going to be telling you what it is. Courage in the face of the unknown is an important quality in a wizard… very important…' It could be anything."

"If they're bringing in beasts," Hermione guessed, "especially large ones, they'd have to keep them in the Forbidden Forest. We could go down there and check."

"Isn't the Forbidden Forest well… forbidden?" one of the younger Liberty students asked, looking up from her homework.

"Yes, but there are no defenses around it," Katie explained.

"People go in there on detentions," Harry pointed out.

"They do?"

"Malfoy, Neville, Hermione, and I were assigned one there once."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, and it was at night. The forest can't be that dangerous." Katie put her head in her hands.

"Please tell me you weren't first years."

"Uh…"

"Goddammit Harry, can you have a year of school where you don't almost die on at least three separate occasions?" Emily and Julia turned to look at Katie. "First year would be the detention, the Troll, and the gauntlet. Second year was the basilisk, which luckily only petrified four people. Third year was the Dementors and Sirius Black, not to mention Professor Lupin."

"Actually, Sirius wasn't trying to kill me. He didn't betray my parents."

"But he was conv-"

"No trial."

"Of course not."

"Can you please explain that?" the computer voices asked.

"Joanna, Lamia, why do you think I know?" Emily asked.

"Well, since you are actually in Britain and not your living room-"

"-or an abandoned choir room-"

"-I think you would be more inclined to know the answer."

"Harry, do you care to explain that comment to us who aren't here last year?" Irina asked. "We are quite confused."

"Well, first year, a toll managed to get into the school on Halloween, someone jinxed my broom, and we had to save to stone from Voldemort. He killed my parents and a lot of other people before I supposedly killed him. His Death Eaters terrorized the last World Cup."

"Magic KKK?"a younger student asked.

"Magic Hitler," an older one pointed out.

"Evil Magic Jesus, too," one muttered.

"What?" Harry asked.

"Nevermind. I'll explain later." Emily said.

"Second year, a basilisk went through the school pipes and petrified four people. Last year, Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban."

"Isn't that the Magical Abu Ghraib?" An older boy asked.

"What?"

"Nevermind. I'll explain later."

"Sirius was imprisoned for betraying my parents because he was supposedly their secret keeper. He was also imprisoned for killing a bunch of people, but that's kind of a side note because they were nonmagical and the Ministry didn't really emphasize it."

"Woohoo, I don't live in the most racist place!" Liz cheered.

"What?"

"Nevermind. I'll explain later."

"Anyways, Sirius didn't betray my parents and actually broke out to save me. After that, things get… complicated. He's living on the run with a hippogriff."

"That's… interesting. Is he still wanted?"

"Yes."

"Was he convicted?"

"No."

"No trial?"

"Yes."

"Is Azkaban Magical Gitmo?" Sean asked.

"What?"

"Nevermind. I'll explain later. Deputy Johnson!"

"What?"

"Do the magical US and UK have an extradition treaty?"

"No. Why?"

"I want to change the government's control of Harry." Julia yelled.

"How?"

"Sirius Black."

"The one in Azkaban with no trial?"

"Yes."

"Fine. We're doing long-range transfer for the First Task anyways. Just make sure the nonmagical governments can't get involved."

"Why?"

"Nonmagical governments have extradition. The magicals don't because purebloods kept getting off for it."

"An interesting history lesson and plan aside," Matthews interrupted. "You two need to be prepared for the First Task."

"We have no clue what it is," Emily pointed out. "There is no way we can memorize how to fight every XXXX and XXXXX creature in existence. There's not enough time. They'll have to bring the animals in within the next week. We can sneak down there and find out then."

"Dirty, sneaky, and functional. I like it. Study your nonmagical subjects between now and Thursday. We'll reassess then.

* * *

"The Liberty students are weird, aren't they?" Katie asked. "Abu Ghraib, KKK, Hitler, Gitmo… what are these things? Are they stuck in the past?" Hermione frowned.

"I know some of those," Hermione murmured guiltily. "They're nonmagical culture references. Really bad references. They're not in the past; we are. They're in the future."

"That's… kind of disturbing," Katie replied. "I mean, we're all told Hogwarts is the best, right? We're stuck what, fifty years in the past?"

"More like three hundred," Hermione answered. "Wizards broke off in 1692 and stopped caring about the nonmagical world. We are taught nothing about the nonmagical world, which is so much bigger than us it could squash us easily. If they knew about Voldemort, there'd be a decent chance he'd never have gotten to power and the entire UK would no longer exist."

"How?"

"Nuclear weapons," Harry muttered.

"What?"

"Nukes!"

"What are nukes?"

"Nuclear warheads are essentially bombs that can wipe out entire cities or countries, depending on which bomb and country you're talking about," Hermione explained. "Currently, there are enough active warheads to destroy the world 23 times over. If nonmagical governments viewed the magical world as a threat, we would literally be wiped off the face of the earth."

"That's… reassuring. Why do the muggles have nuclear weapons?"

"It's… complicated. Basically, there was a giant arms race, and we're living with the consequences. even if they aren't used, we could still be destroyed easily by the US or Russia, even by the UK. The magical world doesn't know it, though, so we push boundaries."

"So… we're ignoring something that can destroy us easily and is way more advanced than us?"

"More or less."

"Woohoo. Watch out world, we're destroying ourselves."

* * *

 **Like Hermione said, the "Nevermind. I'll explain later," comments are generally not nice. In order, what they reference:**

 **KKK - Klu Klux Klan, America's longest-living white supremacy group. It has it's own website. A teacher of mine googled it in class. We through the description was a joke.**

 **Hitler - leader of the Nazis in World War II, for anyone that hasn't heard of him despite the Law of Internet Conversation.**

 **Evil Jesus - the whole rising-from-the-dead thing. Not meant to offend.**

 **Abu Ghraib - US military prison scandal a few years back.**

 **Gitmo - Americans' nickname for Guantanamo Bay, another possible human rights violation.**

 **Liz's comment of "Wohoo, I don't live in the most rascist place!" - Liz is an Old South girl, and the Old South has a long, long history of being... intolerant, to put it nicely (refer to Civil War, KKK above). She doesn't like this, like many people who moved to the Old South for X reason.**

 **Thanks again to EMMYANN, by beta-BFF and metaphorical sister, for working her magic and not killing me for the story I started writing.**


	10. Theories of Some Importance

**Welcome to the latest installment of NAT. It's normal length this time, though this chapter was always going to be short. Lots of critiquing of Magical Britain and magic in general.**

* * *

The next day was a Monday and the foreign students came into the school for classes or studying. Oddly, a majority of the Liberty students sat in on the lower years instead of the upper. A result of this was Harry and Hermione sitting in a clump of seventeen-year-olds in Transfiguration. Liz grinned at him as she transfigured a hedgehog into a pincushion while the boy on Hermione's left (Michael, Harry thought, but maybe Logan or Brian instead) was turned around and covertly scanning the class for threats. Now that Harry thought about it, Liberty students, especially older ones, would cluster around him in shared classes and one was always watching for threats. It was more apparent in some classes than others; in classes like Charms, where the transfers were younger, it was less apparent but the protectiveness came back full force whenever the teacher was threatening.

The first Potions lesson after the Liberty students arrived was… eventful, to say the least. As usual, the students had settled so one (who Harry thought was Jessica) was sitting next to him, another (either Margaret or Katherine) was partnered with Hermione, and yet another (Riley) was facing opposite, watching for threats. The rest settled in a loose clump around them.

When ingredients started flying, the Liberty students showed impressive levels of awareness of knowing what could go in and catching what couldn't. In one particularly nasty incident, Roy grabbed a root centimeters above the top of the potion, having needed to put aside some kind of insect. When the barrage of ingredients finally became too much, the noxious fumes, by some miracle, managed not to knock anyone out as they evacuated. Thankfully, Potions ended shortly after that.

When classes were over, Harry and Hermione went over to Dorothy. The door was propped open as several of the Liberty students were studying out of brightly colored textbooks. When they asked, the students looked at them oddly, as if textbooks were meant to be lime green and dark blue. When asked why their laptops worked, confused glances once again reigned supreme.

"Harry, Hermione," Margaret explained, "we live in the fucking normal world. They're laptops."

"But why do they work?" Hermione asked. Blank stares abounded.

"Hermione," an older girl (most likely Laura) said slowly, "Magic is a low pulse EM. Not high pulse. It's about as effective at destroying technology as a microwave."

"But all the books said-"

"I'm not entirely convinced magical Britain knows what a laptop is," Riley muttered. "Magical Britain appears to be in the seventeen hundreds, technology wise. I'm fairly impressed they know computers exist."

"Well, that is when the Statute of Secrecy was established," Hermione added. "Disturbingly, that makes some sense. But if the magic world is stuck in the sixteenth century… how do we know anything is safe?"

"Oh, it hasn't explicitly killed anyone yet, so it probably won't," Liz said cheerfully. "Same thing with rattlesnake meat. You won't know until you try."

"We're guinea pigs?" Harry asked.

"You didn't notice the lethality rate of your education?" Sean asked.

"I did, but-"

"You didn't think they were just a little bit reckless?"

"I thought the magical world had solutions to it."

"The magical world uses something with a 17% rate of bodily nondisjunction and a 26% increase in mutations of fetuses in the first trimester as their favorite traveling method, Harry," Isi pointed out.

"What?" Hermione sounded aghast.

"Apparition, Hermione," Nita explained. "You're essentially breaking yourself down and reassembling yourself at another location. What really creeps me out are time turners."

"Why?"

"Well, for one, they throw off your sleep cycle, which screws everything else over," Mackenzie explained. "We looked over this in Mediwitch 2 and A&P last year."

"It's also a failed Chekhov's Gun," Sara pointed out.

"A what?" One of the younger students (maybe Carter) asked.

"Plot device. The original rule was that if there was a gun on the mantelpiece in a play, it would be used by the third act. It applies to basically any tool fan fiction. If it exists, it needs to be used. Time turners can't be used to change the past; whatever happened would happen. If you use them to catch up on work or sleep, those hours will stick with you. It is the worst tool imaginable."

"Well, there are stupider ideas," Katherine pointed out. "Divination, for instance. What a load of bullshit."

"Katherine!" Mack looked exasperated.

"It's true!"

"Yes, but you're not supposed to say-"

"What? B.S?"

"Yes! No cussing, that's what I had to promise your mom!"

"Well, it's true. Besides, my mom has a sailor's mouth and you know it."

"Back to the matter at hand," Johnson said loudly, "if you're going to survive, you need to train. How close are we to discovering the task?"

"Three days out," Sean replied. "I saw them making preparations earlier. Whatever it is, it's big."

"Joy."

* * *

 **Okay, I really meant to post last week. My life turned absurd. There might not be a chapter week after next as I'm pretty sure it's my finals week. But, around Christmas (maybe before, maybe after) I'll do a "12 Days of Christmas" thing where I post a bunch of my drabbly stuff. Now, onto explanations!**

 **Apparition Argument, long version (skip to short version if you want to): apparition is more or less disassembling oneself to a molecular level in one place and reassembling in another. While it is dead useful in the books, this seems like it would increase mutation rates. While DNA can go through a lot without actually changing anything (most amino acids have 4 codons, and one has 6), eventually this will end up in a nonsense or missense mutation. While this may, incidentally, explain squibs if magic is a recessive trait and ordinarily would change almost nothing, if the witch apparating was pregnant... birth defects. _Lots_ of birth defects. Which can cause spontaneous abortions, otherwise known as miscarriages. Most likely, _lots_ of miscarriages. Which could explain the general one-child policy of Magical Britain despite it being stuck in a time where seven or more children were common. This also shows why Molly and Arthur, despite being kinda kissing cousins (the purebloods are all, more or less, fifth or sixth cousins _at best_ ) have seven healthy kids; Molly, being a housewife, would not apparate frequently or possibly at all during her pregnancies, giving us one big happy Weasley family. If you don't get this, don't feel bad. My beta doesn't either.**

 **Apparition Argument, Short version: Apparition would cause mutations because you disassemble and reassemble yourself in it. While this would do little besides causing cancer normally, this could mutate sperm in men, eggs in women, or embryos in pregnant women (especially in the first few weeks), causing birth defects and miscarriages.**

 **Time Turner Theory: while using a time turner, your personal day is stretching out, screwing up your sleep cycle. Basically everything is tied at least tangentially to your sleep cycle. Incidentally, mutations similar to what time turner use would cause contribute to bipolar disorder. Take that as you will.**

 **Chekhov's gun: The original version is, in fact, what Sara said.**

 **Divination: I think it's BS. If you wanted, you could make most characters the Chosen One by switching the calendar in use.**

 **The swearing thing: I know this double standard quite well. Let's leave it at that.**


	11. Actions of Some Importance

**Welcome to the new installment of NAT. It's a tad longer than normal.**

* * *

That Thursday, Harry crept down to the forest under his cloak. At the tree line, a nervous Emily was waiting for him. As he threw off the cloak hood, Emily gaped.

"That is so cool!" Emily whispered, mindful of their location. "Now's not the time to talk about it, though." Slowly, Emily and Harry crept into the forest, towards the roars that had kept half the transfers up one night before muffling charms had been laid. Staying within the trees, Emily and Harry looked at the holding pens and gasped.

Dragons. Five dragons, each larger than an average house, were chained to massive posts. Fifty or so handlers were trying and failing to calm them down. As quietly as possible, Emily and Harry walked back into the trees and raced for the Front Lawn. Johnson stood in the doorway of Dorothy, patiently waiting.

"What is it?" Johnson asked with fake calmness.

"Dragons," Emily replied. "The first task is fucking dragons."

* * *

Despite it being November, the temperature in Houston was still well above freezing. Casually, a short Hispanic girl in the uniform for a nearby middle school walked into the large library. The librarian manning the front desk looked up from a massive history tome and grinned.

"Hello, Marjorie," the librarian said softly. "How's Maria doing?"

"She's still sick, Miss Jones," Marjorie answered sweetly. "Mind if I check out a few books for her?"

"Not at all," Miss Jones replied. "I think you know the way by now." Marjorie nodded and slipped off into the expanse of shelves. Checking that no one was looking, she silently opened a closed and stepped inside.

In what would look like a broom closet to nonmagicals without authorization was in fact another library quite similar to the one outside. Dark shelves lined the walls to the ceiling and were filled with tomes titled Herbology and You, The Nitwit's Companion to Magical Beasts, and Magical Creatures of Southwestern America. Few people milled around. The Lady Bird Johnson Magical Library was rarely full. It was a specialized library aside from the normal Lone Star District Library. Marjorie had been there exactly twice to find the rare tomes this side branch specialized in: wildlife.

Late last night or possibly early that morning, an email had been sent out to the "home support group" members (which actually comprised about thirty percent of the Liberty population above fifth grade) asking for research help about dragons. In a flurry of emails and texts, the group had arranged to search every magical library in the two countries for answers, with two per District library (needed due to the amount of material needed to sort through), one per unrelated magical library (things could be misshelved), and three per related specialized library (for the sheer amount of plausible material). Two boys, each younger than her by two years, were already searching through a towering pile of books for any relevant information. Sighing, Marjorie joined them.

* * *

Oddity, Minnesota, was a small town where the temperature was already forty at best. Two teenaged girls walked from their high school to the local library. The library was across town, so the admired the colorful leaves and chatted idly. When others walked by them, they talked about normal things: how their parents were doing, Scottish Rugby, Mr. Smith being the worst teacher ever, what they were going to have dinner tonight, exactly where they had gotten that item of clothing… the list went on and on. When no one else could overhear, they talked about their mission.

"So, how's Ahmed doing?" the slightly taller one asked. Wisps of auburn hair peeked out of the gap between her bright blue scarf and navy hat.

"He's doing well, I think," the shorter replied. It was difficult to tell but she was wearing an orange hijab. "But that was on Saturday. Something may have happened since then. How about your aunt?"

"Which one, Lamia?"

"The one on mission to Iraq."

"Oh, Sister Joan? She's doing fine the last time I heard. Her father's really proud of her coming over."

"Her father?"

"Army. He's a full-bird Colonel. How did you do on the Civ test?"

"87. Subjective score on the free responses were 7 and 8. Mr. Smith hates me."

"Hey, he hates me too. I got a 90 and my free responses were 3 and 4."

"Mr. Smith is an asshole and everyone agrees on that, Joanna. Let us leave it there. Besides, we are nearly at the library." Sure enough, the two had stopped in front of a tiny brick building. Checking no one was looking, they slipped through a broom closet. "Imagine if our mothers heard of this," Lamia muttered. Joanna snickered.

"That'd be an interesting story for sure." With that, they stepped out into the main concourse of Hudson Library of Magical Biology and Associated Subjects. The shelves were dotted with such classic tales as So You Wanna Be a Beastmaster?, Chimera Do's and Don'ts, Travels With Direwolves, and the ever-popular Hitchhiker's Guide to the Magical Arctic, a member of the much-renowned Hitchhiker's Guide series of nature books that documented various climate regions and famously all began with the words "DON'T PANIC". Within two hours, the pair had assembled a small stack of knowledgeable works. Unfortunately, there weren't enough dragon species in the entirety of the Americas to warrant more than six specific books on the subject across all of their libraries. However, there were plenty of books on magical reptiles and that was good enough.

They could win against idiocy and unpreparedness. They could win against dragons. If they could do all that and a bag of chips, they could win this tournament, too, or at least survive it. No curveball was too big to be tackled with research and an open mind. This allowed them to succeed.

Of course, it would most likely also be their greatest shortcoming as research could eliminate emergency preparedness and open minds often didn't quite understand what they were up against but at least they could turn out fine in the end.

* * *

 **For general information, I will most likely NOT be updating this before the new year thanks to my schedule being my schedule. Instead, I will be doing a 12(+) days of christmas thing, which you can see the parts of on my profile. Thanks to Emmyann for being my beta (otherwise this would've been... _interesting_ ).**

 **The Library: the US is big on public libraries, so it makes sense there would be magical ones (as you wouldn't want the nonmagicals to see those books). References intended. I know direwolves don't technically exist in the HP verse, but neither does most of this. Picture massive arctic wolves.**

 **Oddity, Minnesota does not exist to the best of my knowledge. It is where the more important OCs who aren't at Hogwarts live.**

 **Houston, Texas, does exist and is currently the third largest city in the U.S. It does not get winter. Every five or six years, we get a quarter inch of snow.**


	12. Ceremonies of Some Importance

**Hello again! Welcome back to this ongoing trainwreck. Enjoy your stay!  
**

* * *

Harry entered a classroom that was too small for the five champions, wand master, Ludo Bagman, and Rita Skeeter. Emily grinned and nodded at him. Oddly, Matthews was the only school head there.

"Ah, here he is! Champion number five! In you come, Harry, in you come… nothing to worry about, it's just the wand weighing ceremony, the rest of the judges will be here in a moment-" Ludo spoke so fast Harry could barely distinguish words.

"Wand weighing?" Harry asked.

"We have to check that your wands are fully functional, no problems, you know, as they're your most important tool in the tasks ahead. The expert's upstairs now with Dumbledore. And then there's going to be a little photo shoot. This is Rita Skeeter. She's doing a small piece on the tournament for the Daily Prophet…"

"Maybe not that small, Ludo. I wonder if I could have a word with Harry before we start?" Rita Skeeter was a middle-aged woman trying desperately to look young, with dyed blond hair permed into curls. A pair of jeweled glasses made her eyes seem huge. Her fake nails were almost clawlike.

"Not unless you have express permission from his guardian," Matthews pointed out. "He is a minor, according to British common law, which you must follow. Minors can only be interviewed or photographed by the press with the presence or explicit consent of their guardians." Rita scowled. "I believe it is time for the wand weighing?" Sure enough, the judges came down, along with Ollivander.

"Mademoiselle Delacour, could we have you first, please?" Fleur nodded and stepped forwards, handing Ollivander her wand handle-first. "Hmmm… Yes, nine and a half inches… inflexible… rosewood… and containing… dear me…"

"A hair from the head of a veela. One of my grandmother's."

Yes, yes, I've never used veela hair myself, of course. I find it makes for rather temperamental wands… however, to each his own, and if this suits out… Orchideous!" A bouquet of white roses shot from the tip of Fleur's wand. "Very well, very well, it's in fine working order. Mr. Diggory, you next." Cedric stepped forward and followed the same procedure as Fleur. "Ah, now, this is one of mine, isn't it? Yes, I remember it well. Containing a single hair from the tail of a particularly fine male unicorn… or maybe it was the hair of a particularly sparkly vampire, you never know with some suppliers… Twelve and a quarter inches… ash… pleasantly springy. It's in fine condition… You treat it regularly?"

"Polished it last night." Cedric's smile was oddly vapid, like a beauty contestant.

"Well, it does diminish the magical conductivity of the wand, but to each his own." Ollivander sent a stream of silver smoke rings out of the end of Cedric's wand. "Mr. Krum, if you please." Viktor stepped forward and offered his wand to Ollivander. "Hmm… this is a Gregorovitch creation unless I'm much mistaken? A find wand-maker, though the styling is never quite what I… however… yes… hornbeam and dragon heartstring? Rather thicker than one usually sees… quite rigid… ten and a quarter inches… Avis!" A loud bang and a small amount of smoke resounded around the room, leaving several small, twittering, yellow birds in its wake to fly out the window. "Good. Miss Falk?" Emily twirled her wand in her fingers and gave it to Ollivander. "Cedar wood, I presume… ten and five-eighths inches… pliable… and a core of… oh, my…"

"Primary feather of a female thunderbird," Emily replied easily. "Back in Illinois, they're rather common and are used fairly frequently as wand cores, especially by Fogleman Magical tools."

"I have never heard of this Mr. Fogleman."

"Fogleman is run by a woman, actually. Opal Fogleman is the matriarch of the family and the primary wand creator. It makes sense you haven't heard of them, though; they only provide Illinois and a bit of the area around it with wands." Ollivander lifted Emily's wand and a soft glow filled the room.

"Excellent, simply excellent! Which leaves… Mr. Potter." Nervously, Harry gave Ollivander his wand. 'Aaaah, yes. Yes, yes, yes. How well I remember. Eleven inches… holly… one tail feather from a young phoenix… supple. Quite powerful." After creating a stream of wine, Ollivander handed Harry back his wand. "Still in perfect condition."

"Thank you all. You may go back to your lessons now - or perhaps it would be quicker to just go down to dinner, as they are about to end "

"Photos, Dumbledore, photos! All the judges and champions, what do you think, Rita?"

"Er - yes, let's do those first and then perhaps some individual shots."

"Miss Skeeter, I'm afraid that we only have time for one group photo," Matthews pointed out. Emily smiled and walked past him, bumping Cedric on her way out, presumably to tell him about the tournament. Harry only thought that fair; Cedric didn't have any assistance, not to mention the fact that he wasn't the brightest bulb on the tree. As Harry finally walked back to the common room, Hermione handed him a letter.

"For you," she said softly before returning to her studies. Harry eagerly opened the letter and read its contents.

 _Harry-_  
 _I can't say everything I would like to in a letter, it's too risky in case the owl is intercepted - we need to talk face-to-face. Can you ensure you are alone by the fire in Gryffindor Tower at one o'clock in the morning on the 22nd of November?_

 _I know better than anyone that you can look after yourself, and while you're around Dumbledore and Moody I don't think anyone will be able to hurt you. However, someone seems to be having a good try. Entering you in that tournament would have been very risky, especially right under Dumbledore's nose._

 _Be on the watch, Harry. I still want to hear about anything unusual. Let me know about the 22nd of November as quickly as you can._  
 _Sirius_

Harry grinned. At least, another adult was looking out for him! Quickly, he penned a letter.

 _Sirius,_  
 _I can be there at the date and time requested, but could I have Hermione and a friend you haven't met with me? She has been helping me a lot lately, (along with a few others who I will discuss with you then) and deserves to know my plan._  
 _Harry._

Harry sent the letter off with Hedwig and marked the 22nd on his calendar.

* * *

 **I am unsure if laws like this differ across the pond, but you need to sign special release forms for school every year for photos taken at school events or for school-related news. I am not joking. When I say express consent, I mean _express_ , there for the interview or signed a form, consent. Of course, Rita can still write her stuff, but there are other ways to deal with it.**

 **Speaking of law, can someone from the UK or with knowledge on this topic inform me about British laws around the press and libel/slander? It would make me very happy as I am a) American, b) residing in a state where the above laws are in full effect, and c) not in a situation granting me the time to research this to where I could be considered factually and contextually correct. I keep thinking this will come up, either in this fic or a possible sequel.**

 **The Twilight joke was completely necessary. I am playing Cedric as not too bright in this because, while he is handsome in the books and movies, he's not exactly displayed as having high intelligence. The dog trick was clever but he had a week to come up with that and it's the kind of thing that he would have learned without a Transfiguration OWL.**

 **Okay, that ends the related author's note. What's down below is skippable.**

 **I know I haven't updated in a bit, but I did add a bunch of random oneshots and ficlets which could be up your alley. Check out my profile for them, drop a review if you want to, and peruse works of mine that are not currently ranked as the longest of my publishable volumes and roughly second-longest overall. The longer one is currently a total mess, but it is six thousand words more of a mess.**

 **Speaking of that mess and my absence, May will be a crazy month for me and my beta. Does anyone remember the FT crossovers I deleted? If so, skip the rest of the paragraph. If not, the plot of Force is that basically some of the Fairy Tail mages are called to Hogwarts to keep it safe in GoF. It's part of a wider universe that questions my ability to plot while on asthma medication and so contains 2 OCs. Its sequel, Rebellion, is in OoP and slightly better, in my opinion, as I sucked at writing when I began Force. As I was writing Rebellion, my view on HP shifted and my schedule got more hectic, so I stopped writing it and started writing other pieces I didn't post. When I looked back at how crappy they were, I deleted Force and Rebellion and decided to attempt rewriting them eventually.**

 **You may be pleased to hear that Force is currently being rewritten and will probably be posted as my chapter-of-the-week in May. It is fairly similar but not as friendly to Dumbledore or Ron and I'm messing around with the OCs. By the time May rolls around, Force as a whole could actually be half-decent as I'm liking the chapter I've rewritten. It's also going to possess chapters longer than my standard thousand-ish. The finished fic will be considerably longer than Force originally was as Force was a pretty bad fic if we're being honest. So, expect that sometime. God, this is like 600 words and it's doing nothing. Oops.**


	13. Another Discussion of Some Importance

**Hello again! Sorry, still no dragons. Most of the dialogue in this chapter is taken directly from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, chapter 19. I do not own said book and chapter apart from my claim as having an American First Edition lacking a back cover.  
**

* * *

As one o'clock rolled around, three teens sat on the hearth rug in Gryffindor Tower. Harry, Hermione, and Mack eagerly waited for Sirius to show, curious as to how he would manage it. Suddenly, Sirius' head popped out of the fire.

"Sirius - how're you doing?" Harry asked after getting over his shock.

"Fine," Sirius replied. "Hey, Hermione. Who's your friend?"

"Mackenzie Robinson, Liberty Institute for Magical Education, New England Division," Mack explained. "Not to be confused with Mackenzie Clark, who also attends Liberty in the New England Division and shares my name. Not only is he a boy, he's a Pats fan. Just call me Mack."

"Pats?"

"New England Patriots. A load of cheaters if you ask me. Nonmagical sports." Sirius stared at Mack for a moment.

"Never mind me, Harry, how are you?" Sirius asked.

"I'm," Harry attempted to say "fine" but couldn't stand lying to his godfather. "It's a bit complicated." With that, Hermione outlined the events of the past two weeks, including the arrival of the fourth school, his name being drawn, the argument with Ron, and the help that the Liberty students had rendered.

"And we went into the Forbidden Forest and found out about the first task, and it's dragons, Sirius, and I'm a goner."

"From what Em and Harry saw, we're pretty sure they're nesting mothers, too," Mack added.

"Dragons we can deal with Harry, but we'll get to that in a minute - I haven't got long here… I've broken into a wizarding house to use the fire, but they could be back at any time. There are things I need to warn you about."

"What?" Harry asked.

"Karkaroff. Harry, he was a Death Eater. You know what Death Eaters are, don't you?"

"Yes - he - what?"

"He was caught, he was in Azkaban with me, but he got released. I'd bet everything that's why Dumbledore wanted an Auror in Hogwarts this year - to keep an eye on him. Moody caught Karkaroff. Put him into Azkaban in the first place."

"Karkaroff got released? Why did they release him?"

"He did a deal with the Ministry of Magic. He said he'd seen the error of his ways, and then he named names… he put a load of other people into Azkaban in his place."

"Shouldn't he have just gotten a reduced sentence?" Mack asked.

"What?"

"In the States, plea deals, where the accused confesses or rats out his partners, lead to the minimum required sentence or more lenient punishment," Mack explained. "That way, they are still punished for criminal acts but rewarded for being honest and/or helping police."

"That would make more sense, but no. He just got released. He's not very popular in there, I can tell you. And since he got out, from what I can tell, he's been teaching the Dark Arts to every student who passes through that school of his. So watch out for the Durmstrang champion as well."

"Well, Durmstrang has like seven divisions, but Krum most likely would have come from the one under Karkaroff's control, rendering that point moot," Mack muttered.

"Divisions?"

"Besides Koldsvolderetz, the specialty Russian school, Durmstrang covers the entirety of Europe once under the Iron Curtain," Mack explained. "Karkaroff's division is just the Balkans, I think, and maybe only half of them. He can teach dark stuff there, but not overall. Given that Krum is Bulgarian, he would be in Karkaroff's division." Sirius still looked confused. "Never mind. Dumbledore doesn't seem to get it either. Just keep in mind that the Durmstrang divisions are so wildly different from each other, it's more like there are seven schools than one united one."

"How do you know this?"

"A friend of mine has a bunch of cousins attending Durmstrang schools in Russia, Ukraine, and Moldova. Nine cousins, four divisions, and four wildly different magical education experiences."

"Okay, but… are you saying Karkaroff put my name in the goblet? Because if he did, he's a really good actor. He seemed furious about it. He wanted to stop me from competing." Mack turned to look at Harry.

"Harry, everyone except Dumbledore, Bagman, and Crouch thought you shouldn't have been competing. Besides, outrage isn't that hard to feign. Fox does it all the time."

"What?"

"Nothing very important at this moment, just some US political shit, go on."

"Well, we know he's a good actor because he convinced the Ministry of Magic to set him free, didn't he? Now, I've been keeping an eye on the Daily Prophet, Harry -"

"- you and the rest of the world -" the three interjected, thinking about the Harry-centric article that was just begging for a libel suit and the mail that followed.

"- and reading between the lines of that Skeeter woman's article last month, Moody was attacked the night before he started Hogwarts. Yes, I know she says it was another false alarm but I don't think so, somehow, I think someone tried to stop him from getting to Hogwarts. I think someone know their job would be a lot more difficult with him around. And no one's going to look into it too closely; Mad-Eye's heard intruders a bit too often. But that doesn't mean he can't still spot the real thing. Moody was the best Auror the Ministry ever had." Sirius continued like the three hadn't spoken.

"So… what are you saying? Karkaroff's trying to kill me? But - why?" Harry asked.

"I've been hearing some very strange things. The Death Eaters seem to be a bit more active than usual lately. The showed themselves at the Quidditch World Cup, didn't they? Someone set off the Dark Mark… and then - did you hear about that Ministry of Magic witch who's gone missing?"

"Bertha Jorkins?" Hermione guessed. "I think that's her name."

"Exactly… she disappeared in Albania, and that's definitely where Voldemort was rumored to be last… and she would have known the Triwizard Tournament was coming up, wouldn't she?"

"Yeah, but… it's not very likely she'd have walked straight into Voldemort, is it?"

"Listen, I knew Bertha Jorkins. She was at Hogwarts when I was, a few years above your dad and me. And she was an idiot. Very nosy, but no brains, none at all. It's not a good combination, Harry. I'd say she'd be very easy to lure into a trap."

"So… so Voldemort could have found out about the tournament? Is that what you mean? You think Karkaroff might be here on orders?"

"I don't know. I just don't know… Karkaroff doesn't strike me as the type who'd go back to Voldemort unless he knew Voldemort was powerful enough to protect him. But whoever put your name in the goblet had a very good reason, and I can't help thinking the tournament would be a very good way to attack you and make it look like and accident."

"Looks like a really good plan from where I'm standing. They'll just have to stand back and let the dragons do their stuff," Mack commented.

"But if Karkaroff doesn't have the motive, who would?" Hermione asked.

"What do you mean?" Mack and Sirius asked in return as comprehension dawned on Harry.

"Harry dead doesn't help Karkaroff in any way, shape, or form. Someone doing something as dangerous as screwing with the goblet would need a very good reason to do it. I think there's another piece missing, and I think that piece is Moody."

"Why?" Mack's face lit up as if she understood Hermione's implication and she smacked her forehead.

"He was attacked, right?" Mack asked. "It would be a simple swap from there-"

"or the attacker could have put Moody under his control. I mean, concealing an extra body isn't especially hard, from what I've seen the past couple of weeks, and Moody showed us that Imperius curse is really hard to throw off-"

"He did what?" Sirius asked.

"He put us under the Imperius curse and we had to try to throw it off-"

"He did WHAT?" Sirius and Mack half-shouted.

"I don't see why it's such a big deal," Harry said softly.

"That curse is outlawed by the Geneva convention and normal law!" Mack yelled.

"It's one of four felonies in the entirety of magical Britain! Wait, what's the Geneva convention?" Sirius asked.

"Would take a bit long to explain. Muggle version covers the rights of POWs. Magic version covers international magical common law and is the cornerstone of the magical UN's charter. Magical Britain has only four felonies?"

"We're not exactly good at persecuting crime," Sirius admitted. "Mad-Eye was the best at catching criminals, and he caught a lot, but the Wizengamot can't seem to convict people from old families. Of course, half of the Auror force nowadays is grossly incompetent, but that's a different story."

"Okay. Now, we have a laundry list of bad solutions. Do you have any good ones?" Mack asked.

"Well, there's the classic tactic of- shit, they're coming back, I've got to run, see you later, I'll try to come down for the first task-"

"-Oh, yeah, Matthews sent me up here to tell you we can get you back to the US, and since our magical halves don't extradite to each other anymore, it's a good solution-"

"-okay, I'll talk to her at the tournament, I'm guessing you're staying in the house, but I've really got to run-"

"Sure, you're right, see you later!" With that, Sirius' head disappeared.

* * *

 **To public schools students in the US of A: congrats on surviving the first week of school! If you haven't gone back to school yet, you are a lucky bastard. With that said, onto the important stuff.**

 **Okay, if anything in this AN or chapter is wrong factually, please drop a polite review saying what is incorrect, why it's wrong, and where I can find evidence backing your argument up. I will not be offended in the slightest. Well, maybe at myself, but that's not the point. I am a student working on an all-AP course load and so is my wonderful beta, EMMYANN. Neither of us has time to fact-check everything thoroughly. If we have a frame of reference to something, we probably won't check at all so I can focus on writing the story or researching something else or just doing homework.**

 **Which brings me to the footnotes, where I further explain comments in the text. In order:**

 **Yes, there is Mackenzie Clark, who is also in this story but male. Yes, he is from New England. Yes, he is a Pats fan. I have a spreadsheet for this.**

 **The New England Patriots were accused of using deflated balls a few months after this.**

 **Nesting mothers would probably be the most dangerous dragons as mothers in many species are known to go to great lengths to protect their young. When said mother weighs well over a ton and can breathe fire... well, the results wouldn't be pretty.**

 **What Mack describes is how plea deals work in the USA to the best of my knowledge.**

 **As far as we know, there are three large magical schools in Europe: Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, and Durmstrang. In this arrangement, Hogwarts would need to cover the British Isles by itself while Beauxbatons and Durmstrang split up the rest of Europe. The arrangement that most makes sense would be a division along the former Iron Curtain though the boundary may have been different pre-Cold War. To deal with this many students (not to mention the different nationalities and languages), Durmstrang would basically have to divide itself into several parts, each one connected to a region.  
Karkaroff's region is the Balkan Peninsula because that contains Bulgaria and Bulgaria has recently displayed some very similar prejudices to the ones that Karkaroff supposedly has but towards a different group of people. This demonstration is the refugee crisis and this intolerance is shown to be rather prevalent in the Balkans in general and Bulgaria in particular.**

 **Fox is Fox News, the oft-ridiculed and frequently crazy conservative new channel. I am not going to give examples here of what they say as a goodly amount of it is bigoted and/or offensive, but you are free to look it up on your own.**

 **The "begging for a libel suit" comment is based off my limited knowledge of libel law. Most of Rita's work, especially on Hermione, seems to hinge on magical Britain's defamation laws being the old version requiring the prosecutor to prove the statements untrue (instead of the defendants needing to prove the validity of their statements), magical Britain not having defamation laws in the first place, or none of her article's subjects being willing to sue. If Hermione sued the Prophet for defamation, she would've won (presuming modern British laws as they have been explained to me) since it definitely harmed her both physically and reputation-wise.**

 **The "Moody is a hoax" idea Hermione got was how I felt when typing up Sirius' dialogue in this chapter. I'm pretty sure Sirius idolizes Moody to some extent. Also, the real reason Harry isn't a Ravenclaw and Hermione isn't in on this conversation is that anyone with common sense would spoil the plotline in chapter 19 at the latest.**

 **The Geneva Conventions (there are 4 of them) state the rights of POWs and civilians in occupied areas. It more or less boils down to "you can't torture people or destroy hospitals". The magical version of this covers the same topic from the magical side of things, declaring certain spells illegal for use on prisoners and that sort of thing.**

 **Sirius' description of the magical world's efficacy at convicting criminals is pretty much what happens throughout the series.**

 **The laundry list of bad ideas was intended to be Chapter 12 until I had time and energy to write the real chapter 12. It runs 500-something words and currently has 12 items. You can suggest more items or request it to be published (as a separate oneshot).**

 **Anyone remember Julia's idea way back in "Lessons of Some Importance" (Chapter 9)? Yeah, this is the result of that plan. You'll see its actual results chapter after next. Also, the magical nonextradition was explained there. For those with short memories (or possibly me neglecting to add it in before posting/didn't explain it very well), Magical Britain and the Magical US/Canada conglomerate don't extradite to each other because Magical Britain wouldn't prosecute pureblood offenders well or at all. As a footnote to the footnote, US/Canada have one conglomerate magical government because US/Canada have similar nonmagical policy; they share language, culture, and general area; and, honestly, it simplifies logistics in-universe (since one united government is simpler to control and/or predict than two) and in real life (since Canada's population isn't that big and 90% of it lives near the border).**

 **I actually know what's happening next chapter as I have gotten everything written for a bit. I am curious how long being ahead will last, though. Anyways, I can say confidently that next week is dragons: the big, the bad, and the definitely ugly!**


	14. Tasks of Some Importance

**Hi, world! Here are your dragons! The basis of this chapter is Goblet of Fire, chapter 20 and, to a lesser extent Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them and the MCU. I do not own said books and movie universe apart from my claim as having an American First Edition of GoF lacking a back cover, having read Fantastic Beasts, having seen MCU films, and a close relative of mine being a comics nerd.  
**

* * *

"Potter, the champions have to come down onto the grounds now… You have to get ready for your first task." McGonagall sounded oddly grave as if she was preparing to mourn the deaths or injuries to follow.

"Okay." Harry rose and followed her.

"Good luck, Harry!" Angelina cheered.

"You'll be fine!" Hermione whispered.

"Now, don't panic," McGonagall ordered. "Just keep a cool head… We've got wizards standing by to control the situation if it gets out of hand… The main thing is just to do your best, and nobody will think any the worse of you… Are you alright?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine," Harry assured her. His statements did nothing to lessen the worry etched on her face.

"You're to go in here with the other champions and wait for your turn, Mr. Potter. Mr. Bagman is in there… he'll be telling you the - the procedure… Good luck." With that, Harry was directly outside a tent. McGonagall gently squeezed Harry's shoulder before leaving.

"Thanks." The word only reached empty wind as McGonagall was gone. Steeling himself, Harry stepped into the tent and found himself faced by the other champions and Ludo Bagman.

"Harry!" Ludo cheered. "Good-o! Come in, come in, make yourself at home!" Nervously, Harry stood beside the other champions. "Well, now we're all here - time to fill you in! When the audience has assembled, I'm going to be offering each of you this bag, from which you will each select a small model of the thing you are about to face! There are different - er - varieties, you see. And I have to tell you something else too… ah, yes… your task is to _collect the golden egg_!" Emily and Krum both frowned.

"Ladies first," Bagman said cheerfully, offering the bad to Fleur. The part-Veela pulled out a small Welsh Green with a number 2 around its neck, its jade scales glinting in the sunlight. Emily, on her turn, received a Ukrainian Ironbelly marked 4 that repeatedly attempted to stab her with its spiked tail. Krum ended up with a Chinese Fireball colored a brilliant scarlet and denoted as 3 valiantly trying to set his sleeve on fire. Cedric was perhaps luckiest with his pale blue Swedish Short Snout labeled 1. Harry turned out to be unluckiest with a spiky Hungarian Horntail Model with a 5 on its collar. "Well, there you are! You have each pulled out the dragon you will face, and the numbers refer to the order in which you are to take on the dragons, do you see?"

"In increasing danger?" Emily asked.

"Miss Falk?" Bagman looked moderately confused.

"The dragons with later numbers are more aggressive and magic resistant than the ones before them," Krum explained.

"Now, I'm going to have to leave you in a moment, because I'm commentating. Mr. Diggory, you're first, just go out into the enclosure when you hear a whistle, all right? Now… Harry… could I have a quick word? Outside?"

"Anything you want to tell me you can tell all of us," Harry said stubbornly.

"Well… er…" A whistle sounded. "Good lord, I've got to run!" Bagman dashed out of the tent as Cedric walked out the other opening.

* * *

Hermione found herself sandwiched between an excited Nate and a friendly-seeming couple of Mr. and Mrs. Falk, Emily's parents. Somewhat oddly, neither shared her dull blond hair or bright blue eyes. Nate was holding up a video camera, showing the quarry-like arena to whoever would be watching the other side. When asked why he was recording, Nate shrugged and replied, "a present for Lamia and Joanna, a reference point to researchers, good content for the school website, video evidence for any legal stuff, the usual." Soon, Cedric entered the ring, as did a Swedish Short Snout whose head nearly reached the stands.

"Oh Hell," Mrs. Falk muttered.

"Nesting mother dragons," Mr. Falk added. "Shit, shit, shit, this won't end well."

"Johnson's going to be pissed," Mrs. Falk agreed.

"Welcome, audience!" Bagman roared. "The champion's task today is to get the golden egg from their respective dragons while not destroying the other eggs. We begin with Cedric facing Borghild the Swedish Short Snout!"

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!" Johnson screamed. "NESTING MOTHER DRAGONS AGAINST TEENAGERS? FUCKING NESTING MOTHERS, THE KIND TRAINED HANDLERS ARE AFRAID OF!"

"Excuse me, sir?"

"ARE YOU TRYING TO GET THOSE KIDS KILLED?"

"Excuse me?"

"EVERY HALF-WITTED PERSON KNOWS NOT TO MESS WITH NESTING MOTHERS! AND WHAT DO YOU DO? YOU GET A BUNCH OF KIDS TO FACE THEM!"

"James, if you keep yelling you're going to annoy that Short Snout…" Mr. Falk's words finally seemed to have an effect. Mr. Johnson sat down.

"You're right, Phil. It's just hard sometimes. They're bloody idiots and I'm worried for the kids."

"Hey, it could be worse. It could be a Horntail."

"Ooh! That's gotta hurt!"

"Oh god, oh god, is he dead?" Julia asked, panicking and wheezing. "Please tell me he's not dead…"

"He's just burned, Julia," Matthews replied reassuringly. "Might I recommend taking your asthma meds or perhaps leaving?" Julia pulled a blue inhaler out of a pocket and took a few puffs from it.

"I'll be fine. Just please don't let them be dead…"

* * *

"Ouch! That's a nasty burn for Miss Delacour from Ariel!"

"James…"

"Mel, I'm fine."

"Plotting to kill someone is not fine."

"I'm not plotting to kill, just maim or seriously injure."

"James…"

"Melinda, your brother-in-law nearly destroyed New York by accident once. You can't judge."

* * *

"And Krum gets the egg but destroys Xiang-Tai's eggs in the process!"

"Aren't Chinese Fireballs critically endangered?"

"Yes, Phil."

"Then why didn't they substitute real eggs for dragon eggs?"

"They're not that smart, Hermione."

"But the environmental impact on the preserve of losing six eggs, especially to the outlook of the species…"

"Melinda, remember that Beth and Susie left as soon as possible and that they had a reason to do so. They're not that smart."

"Who are Beth and Susie?"

"No one you need to know about."

* * *

"Miss Falk is attempting to distract Bronislava! Risky, risky strategy!"

"Actually, that's the sanest one we found."

"And, with a summoning charm, Emily's personal favorite…"

"MISS FALK HAS RETRIEVED THE EGG!"

"Oh shit…"

"Why does Bagman have to be so bloody _loud_ …"

* * *

"And Harry Potter, our youngest contestant, faces Boglarka the Hungarian Horntail!"

"Why exactly is a nesting mother dragon of the most lethally territorial species known named 'Buttercup'?"

"Loony dragon hatchers."

"Is he talking to it?"

"Yes."

"He's a Parselmouth?"

"Yes, is that a problem?"

"No, but I think Lawrence is going to be itching for an apprentice soon."

"Phillip, we are not sending a fourteen-year-old to your brother!"

"Why not?"

"He nearly destroyed New York!"

"That was just one time, and he couldn't have known that spell would open a portal… besides, someone made him read it, it doesn't count."

"Wait, your brother actually almost destroyed New York?"

"We don't talk about that."

"Okay…"

"If it makes you feel better, Emily's adopted."

* * *

 **To any US student or federal employee: happy MLK Day/day off! For non-Americans, MLK Day, celebrated on the third Monday in January, commemorates Martin Luther King, Jr., a civil rights icon. More importantly to many of us students, it's a federal holiday, which means no school. Of course, I'm preparing to make myself hate myself for voluntarily giving up sleeping in for volunteer hours, but that's my "choice".**

 **Okay, onto the important stuff. If anything in this AN or chapter is wrong factually, please drop a polite review saying what is incorrect, why it's wrong, and where I can find evidence backing your argument up. I feel the need to underline that last bit. My fantastic beta, EMMYANN, and I are both full-time students. We have little research time.**

 **Okay, names were chosen by me at Behind the Name (a name database) by using the quick search for gender: female and usage: whichever country is in the dragon's name. The exception is the Ironbelly as they don't have a Ukrainian usage, so I used Russian instead. The Chinese Fireball is a portmanteau of two female Chinese names. The Hungarian Horntail's name does mean buttercup.**

 **Yes, Emily's family is a collection of MCU homages. Yes, I did make Phil and Loki ("He's my uncle Lawrence but he likes it when we call him Uncle Loki") brothers. Emily was adopted because her parents didn't want to risk naturally getting pregnant and accidentally having a multiple birth, as it runs in the family. Basically, every "good" MCU character is connected to the Falks somehow.**

 **Inhalers, especially rescue inhalers, are color-coded (for somewhat obvious reasons). Pale blue ones with dark red caps contain Zoponex and are for people with really bad attacks. For those wondering why a pretty severe asthmatic came, Julia's is triggered by what basically amounts to a panic attack and probably would not limit her ability to be involved in the tasks. When she isn't having an attack, she might even have better breath support and be able to hold her breath longer since you learn to go with less during attacks; I know a somewhat bad asthmatic who can blow out air for forty-odd counts on a good day and 32 on a bad one.**

 **I think that the adults and Hermione brought up valid points about the safety and sustainability of the task.**

 **Beth and Susie are yet more of OCs in this verse. (Currently, there are 110 OCs mentioned/planned to be mentioned: 73 non-candidates, 38 of whom are adults; 37 candidates and tagalongs, not counting Matthews and Johnson; and 26 members of Emily's family, not including Emily but counting adults.) Susie was first mentioned in the mock newsletter: she won 9th place in the under-9 solo dueling contest. Beth is technically Elizabeth McKinnon and lives in Oddity.**


	15. Results of Some Importance

**Results of the task! The basis of this chapter is Goblet of Fire. I do not own said book.  
**

* * *

Sirius sat on the porch of the clapboard house that served as Liberty's quarters. Next to him, a few students stood or sat, clearly trying not to focus on the finished task or the people currently in the medical wing. They still wore their formal uniforms from earlier: jeans or denim skirts, black boots, and short black robes buttoned up against the chill. Beneath the robes, most of the students wore black t-shirts, though a few wore gray t-shirts. Patches were worn on their right arms. Soon, a harried-looking woman in red robes walked up to the house.

"Hey, Ms. Matthews," a broad-shouldered boy who seemed oldest called. "How's Emily?"

"Scarred but stable," the exhausted woman (presumably Matthews) replied. "Her parents are with her. Before you ask, Harry is mostly uninjured. What's with the dog?"

"He's been here since we got back," a girl replied.

"Okay. I'm guessing you're the fabled Mr. Black?" Sirius nodded. "Good. Come in. We have a bit to discuss before you leave and you won't be able to until the Falks get back besides." Sirius followed her into the house before transforming into his human form.

"That's cool," the youngest-looking, a pigtailed girl who looked barely twelve, murmured.

"Yes, it is an interesting piece of magic, one I haven't seen in a long time," Matthews agreed as she headed toward a door on the first floor. On closer inspection, it appeared to be a basic office. "Now onto the matter at hand, Mr. Black." Shuffling through a pile of papers on the desk, Matthews quickly found the envelope she was looking for. "Ah. Here, Mr. Black, are papers releasing you to Melinda and Philip Falk, Emily's parents. They were here to watch her compete, but will be returning to Peoria for work tomorrow. You will go with them. Upon arrival, you will be expected to uphold good conduct and help the Falks while your case is under review here. Probably, you're going to spend a lot of time looking after the kids."

"Kids?" Sirius asked. Kids had always loved him, but Lily had been… properly cautious about him babysitting, as had Alice and the other Order women.

"Yes," Matthew replied. "Emily has several siblings, two of whom are fairly young and one of whom is practically a toddler. They're also emergency foster parents… and regular foster parents, for that matter. Just expect a small army of children around more or less constantly."

"Okay."

"Well, it's all above-brow and official, so you should be fine until you actually get a trial. We just need to wait for the Falks to get back."

"Fine." After a minute, another question raced through Sirius' mind. "Out of curiosity, what exactly happened in the first task?"

* * *

"Dragons! Last year dementors, this year dragons, what are they going to bring into this school next? You're very lucky… this is quite shallow… it'll need cleaning before I heal it up, though… Now, just sit quietly for a minute - _sit_! And then you can go and get your score. How does it feel now, Diggory?" Cedric's answer was a soft moan.

"Harry, you were brilliant! You were amazing! You really were!" Hermione cheered as she entered, hugging Harry half to death. A reluctant-looking Ron followed her.

"Harry, whoever put your name in that goblet - I - I reckon they're trying to do you in!" Ron said.

"Gee, you think?" Harry's sarcasm went undetected.

"Yeah, and you need all the help you can get-" Ron was cut off.

"Forget it, Ron." Harry's tone was icy cold.

"But I should've-" Again, Ron was cut off.

 _"Forget it."_

"So you're forgiving me?" Ron sounded hopeful.

"No. Forget you ever knew me. Go away, Ron." Ron's features sank and he left. "What happened to the others?" It was a worried-looking brunette woman who answered.

"Your strategy was the best-working, actually," the woman began. "Cedric transfigured a rock into a Labrador dog to distract his dragon. That almost worked but her dragon changed its mind and he got burned. Fleur charmed the dragon and her skirt caught fire. Krum shot his dragon with a curse in the eyes; he got the least injured but his dragon smashed half the real eggs. Emily tried to distract and calm the dragon and she almost escaped unscathed but Bagman…"

"He's so bloody _loud_ …" Hermione muttered.

"And got scratched by a talon," the woman finished. "And then you did your thing, which was crazy by the way. How can you talk to a dragon? The only person who can do this I've met is Lawrence, and he's…"

"Sometimes unhinged…" Emily muttered.

"Who are you?" Harry asked.

"Melinda Falk. I'm Emily's mother," the woman introduced.

"But you look nothing alike…"

"I'm adopted. Hey, Harry! They're about to put up your scores," Emily called, her jacket awkwardly pulled over a thick layer of bandages on her shoulder. Madame Maxime's wand shot up a silvery ribbon that twisted itself into an 8. Dumbledore showed a 9. Crouch put up a nine as well. Bagman displayed a ten.

"Ten? But I got hurt… What's he playing at?"

"He's probably betting on you." With that and a sour look on his face, Karkaroff's ribbon turned into a 4.

"A FOUR? He gave Krum a ten!"

"Hermione, we knew he would be biased before this happened. Besides, he's tied Krum for first place."

"Good one, Harry," Fred (or maybe George) muttered as Harry headed back to the champion's tent.

"Well done, _all_ of you!" Bagman's tone was far too cheerful considering no one had escaped unscathed. "Now, just a quick few words. You've got a nice long break before the second task, which will take place at half-past nine on the morning of February the 24th - but we're giving you something to think about in the meantime! If you look down at those golden eggs you're all holding, you will see that they open… see the hinges there? You need to solve the clue inside the egg - because it will tell you what the second task is, and enable you to prepare for it! All clear? Sure? Well, off you go, then!" The champions walked out, heading towards their respective quarters or the Hospital Wing.

"Congratulations, Harry! I wonder if you could give me a quick word? How you felt facing the dragon? How you feel _now_ , about the fairness of the scoring?" Rita Skeeter had appeared out of nowhere. Harry gritted his teeth.

"Yeah, you can have a word. _Goodbye_." Hermione and Harry cackled their way back to the castle, egg tucked firmly under Harry's arm.

* * *

 **Welcome back. Thanks to all the people who reviewed, including Chrwythyn1971 for pointing out the UK is more diverse than I thought. Regrettably, it isn't something easily changed. However, considering that there is a lot of overgeneralization in this and stereotypes, I feel that it isn't that bad. Thanks for pointing it out and sorry for screwing it up,** **Chrwythyn1971! I also want to thank magitech for being consistent. You are awesome.**

 **If anything in this AN or chapter is wrong factually, please drop a polite review saying what is incorrect, why it's wrong, and where I can find evidence backing your argument up. I feel the need to underline that last bit. My fantastic beta, EMMYANN, and I are both full-time students. We have little research time.**

 **Transfiguration, while cool, is mostly useless in real life. The liberty students don't really learn much of it, so an Animagus is really cool to them.**

 **If anyone knows of a oneshot where Sirius is babysitting, the author will be very happy if you share it. I think that it would be a fiasco.**

 **In the running theme of acceptance and Emily being adopted, her parents are foster parents. Her house is an ever-rotating cast of children, some of whom are adopted and some not.**

 **I know Ron is fourteen (and an idiot) but he is being unforgiven here. Even the boys I knew at fourteen were more intelligent than that, and one nearly set my school on fire. Deal with it.**

 **Lawrence is Loki's actual name in this. He's not evil but MCU canon sort of happens.**

 **The snub at Rita is pulled directly from GoF and is amazing.**

 **That's it for today. There's a poll up on my profile for Yule Ball partners; please vote. See you next week for more insanity.**

 **For those of you wanting a little more nerd cred in your lives, look up "Galaxy Quest chompers scene" on youtube. You will not be disappointed. I also recommend the full movie, which stars the late Alan Rickman.**

 **Of course, there's also the Addams Family musical, in which a young couple attempt to make their parents get along and a brother is afraid of losing his big sister. Marriages are threatened, fathers reminisce, games are played, secrets are revealed, and trips to Paris are arranged. It's fantastic.**

 **Also, who's doing International Fanworks Day? I have a bunch for 2.**


	16. Information of Some Importance

**Results of the task! The basis of this chapter is Goblet of Fire. I do not own said book.  
**

* * *

"So it just makes a loud scream?"

"Yeah."

"And it's supposedly decipherable?"

"Yeah."

"Have you tried listening to it underwater? I mean, it could be mermish."

* * *

"Oh God, oh God," Emily cried. "Oh God, please no. They're just kids!"

"Emily?" Ashley rubbed her eyes, looking at the older girl. "What's wrong?"

"I've made a horrible mistake!"

"What?"

"I thought that the only one to get hurt by my goddamn recklessness was going to be me!"

"What?"

"The last clue. I'll explain in the morning. Go back to bed. I need to plan."

"'kay." Ashley went back to sleep as Emily waited out the long hours with bloodshot eyes and determined glares.

* * *

"Okay, so we have the clue?" Joanna asked, her and Lamia's grainy faces showing that they had had a bad school day. Harry was surprised to note that Lamia had what looked like a bright blue scarf wrapped around her head and neck.

"Yes," Emily replied, sounding surprisingly sobered and grim.

"It was in Mermish, just like you said," Harry added, also being unusually serious.

"What was it?" Lamia asked. "Generally, you two aren't so… grim."

 _"Come seek us where our voices sound./We cannot sing above the ground,"_ Emily recited.

"So it's the merpeople in the lake," Joanna interrupted. "Simple."

"There's more," Harry said. _"An hour long you have to look./ To discover what we took."_

"So there's a time limit," Lamia half-shouted. "What's the big deal?"

"Two more lines, Lamia," Emily replied. "If you can't tell then, you're hopeless. _But past an hour, the prospect's black./ Too late, it's gone, it won't come back."_

"Shit."

"Yes."

"Are we saying that-"

"Yes."

"You think the judges would-"

"Yes."

"Do you have a plan?"

"Not a good one."

"Another laundry list?"

"Haven't reached that point yet," Emily answered evenly. "We haven't told anyone about the situation yet. If there's another way this can go, we won't incite mass panic."

"So if we can think up another answer to the riddle than someone being dragged to the bottom of the Black Lake, we won't tell anyone the possibility?" Lamia asked. "It would still be an option and not saying could put others at risk."

"Well, I don't think there's another likely outcome than the one you said," Emily sighed. "Matthews knows. Johnson knows. My parents know. Hermione knows. The twins know. Katie and Angelina know. Anyone outside of that circle probably won't be picked because every Liberty student is staying in Dorothy the night before the task. We really don't want to cause a mini-riot. We can't tell Hermione's parents because someone's been tampering with her letters home."

"How do you know?" Matthews asked.

"From first year onwards, she's been requesting her parents to put her letters to them in part or in whole on their letters to her," Harry explained. "Of course, they do this in invisible ink so no one knows. Unless it's something like doing well on a test or talking about a book or her friends, the version they return doesn't match the version she sends out. If she mentions me as her boyfriend or requests for me to stay over with her, that whole part just gets deleted. What's really creepy is that it's still in her handwriting."

"Where is Hermione, anyways?" Joanna asked. "Normally, she's with you when we chat."

"She's in the hospital wing," Harry explained.

"Why?" Lamia pressed.

"Um, you see, there's this reporter called Rita Skeeter…"

* * *

Hermione shrieked as the letter exploded in her face. Over the past two days, the outrage from Skeeter's article had been directed at her by staff, student, and outsiders alike. McGonagall was furious and, with her permission, blocked any unfamiliar owls from delivering post to Hermione; if she wanted the letter, Hermione could simply ask McGonagall and receive it. However, whoever had sent this last one clearly had outwitted McGonagall's charm, whether due to it being in the breakfast mail blitz or to some malignant curse. However, the students had little time to ponder that question as the liquid sloshed from the letter caused her skin to bubble and burn.

The response was immediate. Dean splashed Hermione with water; it had no effect. Someone else attempted to summon the goop into the empty goblet, which sort of worked. Parvati, who had been sitting next to Hermione before the letter, helped her off the bench, where Fred and George grabbed her arms. As Fred and George simultaneously rushed her to the Hospital Wing and attempted to get as much of the mystery liquid off her face as possible, McGonagall stormed down to the Gryffindor table, part of which was smoking. Wordlessly, Seamus passed McGonagall the letter on a convenient saucer, sparing him and her from the caustic effects. McGonagall nodded to him before tapping her throat and muttering, " _Sonorous_."

"Attention!" McGonagall's voice reverberated through the hall. "Lockdown protocols are being instituted on account of a student being attacked by an unknown person. Everyone, please remain seated. One of our students has been attacked by an anonymous letter. I would advise no one to open any mail at this moment in case another one exists. Anyone who has also come into contact with the caustic fluid inside the letter, please escort yourselves to the hospital wing. I expect you to not cause any trouble. Under no circumstances should anyone else attempt to leave the hall while the letter is traced. Professor Flitwick, as Charms Professor, would you care to do the honors?" Flitwick nodded and made his way to the Gryffindor table. Quickly, he pointed his wand in a twisting fashion at the letter and murmured a long and complex charm. The letter glowed a faint green, along with a certain old owl. "Ron and Ginny Weasley, please come with me to my office at this time. Lockdown is hereby released and anyone not in the hospital wing should go to classes at the appropriate time. I trust Madam Pomfrey will send a list of those ensconced in her domain to whom it may concern for attendance purposes. Could someone please inform the twins to come to my office when they return?" The students nodded. With that, McGonagall walked out of the hall with the two Weasleys in tow. Soon afterwards, Harry dashed out of the hall to the Hospital Wing.

The Hospital Wing was half full when Harry entered it. Madam Pomfrey looked distinctly harried. Hermione looked like a mummy, with her hands and most of her face wrapped in bandages. The others weren't in such bad condition; a hand here, a cheek there, easily bandaged and treated.

"Were you hit too?" Madam Pomfrey asked. "Bulbotuber pus makes a bad vesicant, especially when it's mixed and charmed…"

"No," Harry replied quickly. "I wondered if Hermione was alright. Fred, George, McGonagall wants you in her office." Fred and George nodded and walked off.

"Miss Granger should make a full recovery," Madam Pomfrey said, "but she will have limited dexterity for a few days at least and won't be able to leave until tomorrow at the very least." Harry nodded as the bell for first period rang. "You'd best be off." Harry yelped and started dashing for the dungeons

* * *

"She got hit with bulbotuber pus?" Lamia asked.

"Well, it was mostly bulbotuber pus," Harry replied evasively. "McGonagall said there was some other stuff in it too."

"So someone took the time and effort to make a powerful vesicant for the sole purpose of hitting a fourteen-year-old girl?" Joanna asked. "Are we missing something?"

"The article in question stated Hermione was close to Harry due to love potions. Hermione's parents also happen to be nonmagical."

"Why should that matter?"

"This is Magical Britain. Muggleborns to the majority who stay are basically what blacks were to white southerners."

"That bad?"

"No segregation, but limited opportunities, implications of inferiority, slurs, et cetera."

"Great. Do her parents know?"

"Mail is blocked and our phones don't work right over here. McGonagall mentioned notifying the Grangers about the attack, though. After that, she was muttering about interfering old goats, so I'm not sure what will happen."

"So, the next task involves possibly living hostages, there's a nosy reporter with no sense of decency, at least one nutjob has the liquid magical equivalent of mustard gas, and we have no clue what to do?"

"More or less."

"Why do you think I left?" A muffled voice in the background yelled.

"Great," Lamia muttered, preparing for an argument.

* * *

 **Welcome back. Thanks to most of the people who reviewed.**

 **If anything in this AN or chapter is wrong factually, please drop a polite review saying what is incorrect, why it's wrong, and where I can find evidence backing your argument up. I feel the need to underline that last bit. My fantastic beta, EMMYANN, and I are both full-time students. We have little research time.**

 **Also, for the record (again): This story is AU - Canon Divergence and this author shifts and makes up details as she goes. This is set in 2014 for reasons of the author totally not having time for researching what was available in 1994. This author also has a background in science and has gotten many a crazy look from her parents and friends for stating the theories; however, they, at least, agreed about the logic of them, even if certn individuals considered the premise of said ideas as completely nuts. If you are interested, I am happy to explain them to you. If you act like an asshole, I have the right to block you and consider you an idiot. With that, the footnotes.**

 **The mermish thing: it's another "Harry is not a Ravenclaw" moment.**

 **Emily jumped to the assumption that the thing taken will be a person based on anecdotes from adults she knows. This is also a case of jumping to the worst possibility and "Harry is not a Ravenclaw."**

 **Reasonable sharing of knowledge is not something in Magical Britain in the books; either it's a complete secret or everyone knows. Therefore, I think some reason is in order.**

 **Skeeter has always been kind of petty to me.**

 **Again, common sense.**

 **A vesicant is a blister-causing agent. While that might sound like not a big deal, an infamous vesicant is mustard gas.**

 **Yes, I went there. It's kind of an honest comparison.**

 **I leave you here on a cliffhanger. Have a nice week!**


	17. Revelations of Some Importance

**A special Friday posting of: Discussion, part 2. The basis of this chapter is Goblet of Fire. I do not own said book. Most of this comes from my twisted imagination, which I totally own.  
**

* * *

"Beth, there's a series of unfortunate events that convinced you to emigrate," Joanna shouted over her shoulder, looking nonplussed. "And before you start, Lamia and I heard the full and complete list when our involvement in the tournament was announced. We also heard the Volkov version of the 'You Can Go to Hogwarts When Hell Freezes Over' speech and Ms. Kader's pointed comments about idiots wielding sticks as tools of power. I really don't need to hear that again. Besides, we're kind of in the middle of something here."

"While that may be true, Sister Cecelia wants to see you. Something about Christmas services and the Messiah singalong," the disembodied voice Joanna called Beth countered. Joanna grimaced while Lamia sighed in relief.

"I'm guessing more the latter than the former?" Joanna sounded very defeated, almost as if this was a long held argument.

"Probably." Harry could hear the pity in Beth's voice.

"And I'm doing soprano on it all, including the chipmunk chorus?" A few of the students had an expression of sudden comprehension dawn on their faces, quickly followed by looks of sympathy. Harry wondered what this "chipmunk chorus" was.

"What else do you think you'd sing?"

"Alto. You know, the female part in the Messiah that isn't making batlike shrieks?"

"The part anyone with free will and half a brain sings?" Hermione muttered.

"The part that isn't quite so insufferable?" Julia added.

"She wants to see you now, Jo." Beth sounded impatient.

"Okay, I'll go. We need someone to stay with the transfers, though. We've got a situation."

"Good girl. Do you want me to take your place?"

"Since you're used to Magical Britain and all of its-"

 _"Joanna Hall."_

"-idiocy, it might be a good idea. What did you think I was going to say?" Joanna innocently batted her eyes.

"Something that would require your mouth being washed out with soap." Joanna left the screen and a gray-eyed woman wearing a black head covering that was presumably Beth replaced her. "Hello, I'm guessing you're Harry because you look like the baby in the pictures Aunt Lily sent to Mom. I'm Sister Elizabeth McKinnon." Harry gaped at her.

"You knew my mother?" Harry asked.

"Not really. Basically, my mom and your mother collaborated on charms research in the Department of Mysteries before Aunt Lily went into hiding. I was about twelve at the time," Elizabeth explained. "While I was on summer break the year after that necessary bit of self-preservation, I left Magical Britain for my own safety. I only returned for a month or so about five years later before leaving for good, at which point Sirius was in jail, Lupin was nowhere to be found, and your parents were dead. Sorry."

"My mom was an Unspeakable?" Harry gaped.

"Sort of," Elizabeth replied. "She was training with them when she died. Beyond that, I have no clue. Any other questions?"

"Why are you and Lamia covering your hair?" Harry asked.

"Sister Elizabeth is a nun; it's part of their code and stuff," Lamia replied before Elizabeth could. "I'm Muslim; the Koran, my religious book, dictates that Muslim women should cover their hair for modesty. There's a similar passage in the Bible somewhere, in one of Paul's letters I think, but we actually follow the command all the time. Does that answer your question?" Lamia seemed oddly hostile.

"Yes," Harry replied. "I just hadn't seen someone do that before. Thank you for explaining it to me."

"You're welcome." Lamia's tone was softer.

"Okay, what are we dealing with?" Beth's eyes were cold, calculating, ready for a fight.

"The second task," Emily began. "Basically, it's taking place with Merpeople in the Black Lake. If we're right and they're willing to take human hostages-"

"-which they most definitely are, as Natalya, Farrah, and I all can attest-"

"-then we will need to get people out of a village in the middle of a very deep lake in February within an hour - unless they're bluffing about them not coming back past an hour-"

"-which could very well be serious, especially if the hostages aren't pureblood."

"Okay, then considering the fact that there's at least one girl with nonmagical parents and probably someone with Veela blood under, it's not a bluff."

"Veela blood?" Lamia and Beth looked shocked.

"The Beauxbatons champion's grandmother is a full-fledged Veela and Fleur sure as hell looks like one," Matthews elaborated. "All the swooning boys, too."

"Matthews is ignoring the fact that she doesn't exactly have friends," Mack pointed out, "for fairly obvious reasons. I mean, boys drool and girls are jealous when a Veela's around."

"And the other girl? What about her?" Elizabeth asked.

"Hermione, who you'll meet in pretty short order if you keep subbing for Joanna," Emily answered. "The only reason she's not here now is because of an idiot mixing up bulbotuber vesicant."

"What?"

"Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up," Sean said in his best Inigo Montoya voice. "There's a reporter named Rita Skeeter begging for a libel suit who wrote an article about Hermione saying she gave Harry love potions to get his friendship, which is incidentally total BS because Harry royally ticked Skeeter off and Hermione's parents are nonmagical-" Elizabeth groaned. "Okay, I can see you can tell where this story is going, so I'm going to stop there. Hermione's going to be fine eventually and we need to be thankful for that. Minor scarring will be the only permanent side effect."

"Okay," Elizabeth said. "If you haven't told the others, tell them now. Harry, you might want to consider keeping your relationship with Hermione-"

"-why does everyone think we're dating?" Harry grumbled.

"You're adorable together," Amy replied. "We ship it. There's probably a pool on you guys somewhere."

"Probably more than one."

"As I was saying," Elizabeth said, "you might want to keep your relationship with Hermione on the down low until the task is over. Until then, here's a plan that'll help keep you safe and just maybe spite the purebloods…"

"That's insane!"

"What isn't? I mean, Harry does have the legal power to incite a serious case against her-"

"-and Luna, the daughter of _The Quibbler_ owner, is in my Charms class and her dad would totally print it-"

"-but how would we be able to get the message out without endangering her?"

"Um, you could make her pureblood…"

"I'm not getting shot by Dan Granger!"

"Well, you could make this out as Skeeter directing a petty attack against an innocent victim."

"It'd still be dangerous."

"How?"

"Dumbledore."

"Oh. If that's the case, you should leave it at editorial writing and nudging _The Quibbler_ , maybe even less. Avoid the legal suit if you don't feel safe taking all your power up. If that's true, then maybe this would be better…"

* * *

 **Welcome back. Thanks to most of the people who reviewed.**

 **If anything in this AN or chapter is wrong factually, please drop a polite review saying what is incorrect, why it's wrong, and where I can find evidence backing your argument up. My fantastic beta, EMMYANN, and I are both full-time students. We have little research time.**

 **The "chipmunk chorus" refers to the soprano part of "He Shall Purify" in Handel's _Messiah_. The treble clef's top space is the lowest note in the whole thing. I hate it.**

 **I am making up everything I want to about James and Lily because we know next to nothing about them.**

 **Yeah, the number of people with bad experiences with magical Europe in this fic roughly equals the number of adults who grew up in magical Europe.**

 **Fleur is never really described as having friends, which makes sense.**

 **Yeah, _Princess Bride_ references!**

 **Yeah, the betting pool trope. I happen to like this one.**

 **The "getting shot by Dan Granger" refers to the angry father trope and the fact Hermione would become "pureblooded" by marrying Harry.**

 **End of the chapter! Have a fun week!**


	18. Insanity of Some Importance

**Christmas Chaos, part 1. The basis of this chapter is Goblet of Fire. I do not own said book. Most of this comes from my twisted imagination, which I totally own.  
**

* * *

By the time Hermione escaped the hospital wing, Saturday had come and the Liberty students were acting distinctly crazier than usual. Most of them seemed to be muttering under their breath about one thing or another.

"Revolution started in 1775, Declaration signed in 1776, Constitution ratified in 1787…"

"DNA makes RNA, RNA makes proteins…"

"Linear y equals x, quadratic y equals x squared, cubic y equals x cubed, exponential y equals base to the power of x, reciprocal y equals one over x, square root y equals positive square root of x…"

"Remember the _Maine_ , which blew up…"

"Mockingbirds are a symbol of innocence, and both the title and plot of _To Kill a Mockingbird_ show that innocence is killed by prejudice and ignorance. In many ways, it is a critique of the Old South…"

"Croatia, Serbia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Kosovo, Moldova…"

"Angle Side Side makes an ass out of you…"

"Ionic take, covalent share, cations cough up electrons, anions attract electrons…"

" _Twelve Angry Men_ shows that prejudice blinds judgment for those unwilling to think critically…"

"In Flanders fields…"

" _Fahrenheit 451_ explores censorship not as a repression by the government but as a choice, made by the public, for ignorance so that no one can be offended…"

" _The Alchemist_ is a really shitty little book that we're expected to find deep meaning in…"

"World War 2 promoted women's rights as they filled in needed jobs at home…"

"… stupid book about a stupid rabbit who steals vegetables from other people's gardens…"

"Secant, tangent, cosecant, sine, 3.14149…"

" _The Count of Monte Cristo_ focuses heavily on the theme of karma; when you screw someone's life over for petty reasons, you'll get payback ten times over when he gets out of prison by pretending to be a corpse…"

It made utterly no sense to Harry or any other Hogwarts student. When asked why she was muttering "cyanide, carbon monoxide, methyl alcohol, arsenic, thallium, radium, cadmium…" under her breath, Mack laughed. She went on laughing for a good minute before stopping. Liz was silently giving them the death glare.

"It's finals week, silly," Mack said, oddly giggly. "We want to do well on our tests so we don't have to do remedial courses."

"And why are you two on the brink of madness?" Fred asked.

"I'm sleep deprived," Liz snapped.

"Why are you sleep deprived?" George pressed.

"It's finals week!" Mack yelled.

"What are finals?" Mack laughed hard at the question while Liz glared darkly at them.

"They're tests you take at the end of a semester," Liz all but growled. "Like OWLS but all the damn time. They suck."

"Don't you have something else to worry about?" Hermione asked. Liz looked at her as if she was an idiot.

"Sweetie," Liz began. "Right now, the only thing is our GPA. Nothin' else matters 'til finals are over. Thank God we can at least escape standardized testing."

"Standardized testing?"

"Four hours of filling in bubbles with Number Two pencils," one of the younger ones (probably Erik) yelled over his shoulder.

"It actually takes you four hours?"

"No. It's more like an hour and a half honing my guessing skills and two and a half hours honing my skills at escaping boredom while remaining utterly silent."

"Shouldn't you be prepping for the task?"

"If we don't pass, we can't stay."

"Says who?"

"Texas UIL law. But we have four weeks free time after this, so it balances out."

"Good for you."

"It's the price of being caught up in both societies. I'm willing to pay it."

* * *

"The Yule Ball is approaching - a traditional part of the Triwizard Tournament and an opportunity for us to socialize with our foreign guests. Now, the ball will be open only to fourth years and above - although you may invite a younger student if you wish. Dress robes will be worn and the ball will start at eight o'clock on Christmas Day, finishing at midnight in the Great Hall. Now then - the Yule ball is a chance for us all to - er - let our hair down but that does NOT mean that we will be relaxing the standards of behavior we expect from Hogwarts students I will be most seriously displeased if a Gryffindor student embarrasses the school in any way." The bell rang. "Potter - a word, if you please." Harry strode up to her desk. "Potter, the champions and their partners-"

"What partners?"

"Your partners of the Yule Ball, Potter. Your _dance partners_."

"Oh."

"Traditionally, the champions and their partners open the ball. Make sure you get yourself a partner, Potter." Harry gulped. Hermione would be happy, at least.

* * *

As finals ended and the mood in Dorothy brightened, Christmas quickly became the main discussion point. Even for those students who were eighteen or nineteen, the only talk was what Santa would bring them. Apparently, Matthews had set up a system where the transfers could get their presents on time and give their families gifts. Despite being stuck away from home during the holidays, none of them seemed depressed. One of them was excited about every little thing; some of them were even ranting about the three inches of snow on the ground. Overall, the Christmas cheer was in full swing even before the ball.

Hermione, when asked about her dress, would only tell Harry that it was periwinkle blue. When Harry wondered about it, several girls rolled her eyes and told him that she was attempting to surprise him. Love was in the air even before Harry awoke to a pile of presents at the foot of his bed. Some, as usual, were from Hermione and the Quidditch team, but a few were from the Liberty students and their parents. Sirius, now that he could send a present, had gone a bit overboard, sending Harry a few books, miscellaneous quidditch items, a few nonmagical study materials which Harry made a point of keeping, and a communication mirror with instructions and notes. Oddly enough, the Falks sent him a magical self-sizing wetsuit and a book about swimming and diving in cold water.

Hermione, in turn, had received a good weight of books and a set of jewelry that matched her dress perfectly. Sirius had been meddling, she knew it, but he had also given her a charmed compact that, among other things, acted as a communication mirror (instructions provided) with one sent to her parents. Her parents, in turn, had sent her yet more books and the same set of nonmagical workbooks and materials they gave her every year. The materials might be slightly shifted from what she should technically be learning, but it helped her keep track of the world she was born in. In a display that clearly showed that both her parents and the Falks knew the risks of the next task, she had a first aid guide (with the cold injuries section bookmarked) and an index of magical and nonmagical treatments for injuries (again, with the cold weather sections highlighted).

It was one interesting Christmas and the day hadn't even started.

* * *

 **Welcome back. Thanks to most of the people who reviewed.**

 **If anything in this AN or chapter is wrong factually, please drop a polite review saying what is incorrect, why it's wrong, and where I can find evidence backing your argument up. My fantastic beta, EMMYANN, and I are both full-time students. We have little research time.**

 **As usual, in order, the references made:**

 **The cramming items:**

 **This is the early history of the USA, as learned by rote.  
** **The central dogma of genetics: this is how genes connect to traits.  
This is a list of the parent functions in Algebra. It isn't all of them, however.  
** **The _Maine_ was an American ship which blew up. This started the Spanish-American war. This encompasses most of my knowledge of the Spanish-American war.  
 _To Kill a Mockingbird_ was Harper Lee's debut (and, up until a bit ago, only) novel. It is a classic example of the Southern Gothic genre and is quite good. It is the story of (explicitly) how one character broke his arm and (really) an open-minded growing up in a Southern town, circa the Great Depression.  
List of some Balkan states.  
This is how my geometry teacher taught us which theorem of the Alphabet soup didn't work. Angle Side Side or Side Side Angle does not prove similarity or congruence.  
This is chemistry.  
 _Twelve Angry Men_ is a stageplay-turned-movie by Reginald Rose. It focuses on a grand jury of unnamed men who are debating the guilt or innocence of a teenage boy whose life is on the line.  
"In Flanders Fields" is a depressing poem (later song) about World War 1, written by John McCrae in 1915. Basically, a bunch of WW1 battles happened and a lot of soldiers were buried in fields covered with Flanders poppies.  
 _Fahrenheit 451_ , by Ray Bradbury, is an interesting take on censorship.  
 _The Alchemist_ , by Paulo Coelho, is a book I read for school and did not appreciate.  
This is an analysis of feminism in World War 2 in the US and Western Europe. I would like to say that the Soviet Union was more advanced in this; a lot of Soviet women served in the army, including really dangerous positions.  
** **This is part of Lucy's rant in "Book Report" from _You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown_.  
** **This is part of a very nerdy cheer for a college I know of tangentially.  
** ** _The Count of Monte Cristo_ , by Alexandre Dumas, is a classic novel about revenge. There is a romantic subplot I am actively choosing to ignore. The movies are nowhere near true to the book (though at least one of them has an ending I like better).  
** **Yeah, I have no idea why Mack is chanting a list of poisons under her breath. Give me an explanation and I will be happy.  
** **These are the two sides of sleep deprivation: punch-drunk and irritable. Oh, I neglected to put high-strung in there.  
** **This is my take of standardized testing. It has not changed since I started on this grand scheme of becoming a series of test scores and grades. Oh, and since standardized test season is coming up in the US, I, as a proxy for my mother, a fellow student, and the polar opposite of some teachers, would like to kindly like to remind you that YOU ARE NOT YOUR GRADES and A GPA IS NOT SOMETHING WORTH SACRIFICING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH FOR. Trust me on this one; one class is not grounds to give oneself a nervous breakdown, even if you need to achieve a certain success rate in said class.**

 **Texas law states that if you are not passing across the board by a specific date (the date for losing eligibility depends on your event; you are permitted to flunk 1 AP course), you cannot do any school-related extracurricular activities, such as UIL competitions, sports, and unrelated academic competitions that aren't UIL.**

 **A decent proportion of the US gets snow (as in, an eighth of an inch of slush) maybe once a decade. Incidentally, that snow shuts down these cities.**

 **Knowledge is power. If you know how to treat cold weather injuries, it can do a lot of good. If you can't and try to do so anyways, it can do a lot of harm. I also headcanon that Hermione has been keeping up with her nonmagical studies. The "shifted" comment refers to a different type of history/science and the fact that, if you are smart, math from fifth grade to eighth grade feels very similar; if you skip a year or two of math in that space, not much will happen besides (if you go to Algebra) everything becoming more interesting all of a sudden.**

 **Next week is Yule Ball week!**


	19. Parties of Some Importance

**Christmas Chaos, part 2. The basis of this chapter is Goblet of Fire. I do not own said book.  
**

* * *

"I'm presuming Harry and Hermione are going together?"

"Yes?"

"So who won the bet?"

"Luna Lovegood."

"The third year?"

"Yes."

"Good for her. She deserves something nice in her life."

"Did you hear Neville asked her to the Ball?"

"Well, that's nice of him. They can be adorably awkward together."

* * *

"Who are you going with, by the way?"

"I have no clue."

"What do you mean by that? Don't you have a boyfriend?"

"I don't have one anymore."

"What happened?"

"My family is… not normal and he was from Ohio."

"Oh, a swing state."

"Why does that matter?"

"Have you ever met someone from Ohio? He was way too normal to survive with my family."

"Seriously? Your parents didn't seem that bad."

"Sometime, let me introduce you to my uncles. Your incredulity will change, trust me."

"Why?"

"My uncles are… inimitable. And they were there when I brought John home. To give him the shovel talk."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

* * *

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Everyone's so serious with the Ball coming up and everything. They need a laugh."

"Why are you volunteering yourself for this task, uglier brother."

"You and I both have little dignity and an obligation to spread the Christmas cheer."

"Ready?"

"Of course. After all, the potion will only last a couple of hours."

"Bottoms up, brother."

"You too, my unfunny doppelganger."

* * *

"Only for the night?"

"Only for the night."

"No one knows about it beforehand?"

"That is my plan."

"And Karkaroff won't be able to tell?"

"He won't."

"Good. I accept."

"Mier, what about the task?"

"Viktor, I have a black belt in judo and a crossbow license. Do you think Karkaroff really wants to deal with my mother again after last time?"

"Point. Though who wants to deal with your family any time?"

"You, obviously."

"I do not deal with your family out of desire to deal with them; I deal with your family because I don't want your parents to kill me."

* * *

"Hey, Em, do you want to go to the Ball with me?"

"Fred, are you drunk?"

"Nope, just spreading the Christmas cheer."

"What did George give you?"

"Unkeyed infatuation potion, I think."

"Did you give him something?"

"He's _blue_ , Emmy. Of course I gave him something. Will you go dance with me?"

"Well, I don't have a date… sure, but sober up a bit before McGonagall or Snape sees you."

* * *

Christmas Day was hectic as the girls rushed to prepare for the Ball. The guys laughed but those with sisters attempted to explain exactly why the girls had to spend the entire afternoon preparing.

"Makeup takes forever, trust me."

"Dresses are hard to get into."

"Getting a stylish hairdo into place can take well over an hour if your hair is to your waist."

"They want to be ready beforehand."

"Stop complaining. You're worse than this on game days."

* * *

The girls standing in the Great Hall were anything but the normally modest, dull witches who tended to occupy the school. When McGonagall stated that the party was a chance to let their hair down, many of the girls left their hair up in response but decided to drop their necklines instead. Harry was pretty sure that clothes like that would garner a few charges of public immodesty around the world.

Hermione's dress was, as she had told Harry, a very pale blue, with earrings and a necklace to match. However, the most beautiful decoration on her was a forty-carat smile, grinning in joy and spiting all of her tormentors as Harry led her around on his arm. Somehow, the other girls had managed to tame the infamous Granger mane (though _how_ , exactly, Harry was unsure), leaving her hair in ritzy waves pinned carefully out of her face. Her makeup, while applied with a light enough hand that it would be passable under normal conditions, emphasized her amber eyes and hinted at the beauty she was still on the way to becoming. Most of all, she looked happy, and that was more than enough for Harry.

Emily, directly behind the pair, had come with a purple dress that didn't show much skin but still allowed her to look stunning. More importantly, it let her move normally without risking any scandalous moments. She had apparently given up on a fancy style and instead braided purple flowers into her hair, which was pinned in its braid against her head. Trading off the inches of height she didn't really need or want for comfort, she walked quite steadily in a pair of well-fitting flats as girls with less sense tripped and stumbled. Fred was at her side, grinning like a maniac.

Krum's date was a Durmstrang girl with long dark hair dressed mostly in black. Despite the dreary color at an otherwise bright place, she walked and looked like a queen. Both Krum and she smiled through Karkaroff's sneers. When asked, she introduced herself as Miercuri in a surprisingly light accent.

Last but certainly not least was Fleur, carrying a drooling date on her arm. Her dress was a pale silver looked almost like something out of the eighteenth century but without the absurd hips. She was grimacing as her date continued to slobber on her. Apparently, no boy in the school could resist Veela charm when said Veela was dressed up.

Overall, the four were the most dignified of the girls. Most of the boys wore the same awkward tuxedo-robes combination, looking decidedly uncomfortable and alternating only with trim and tie color. Several of the girls seemed to have traded their dress robes for muggle clubbing outfits, creating an odd blend of magical and nonmagical culture.

The champions and their dates sat at a table with the judges. In place of Crouch was a red-faced, overeager Percy Weasley who seemed to be getting a talking-to about assuming responsibility. Much of the advice went completely over Harry's head, with him only catching occasional words like "partisanship" and "prejudice." Emily was decidedly ignoring the conversation as something she knew she really didn't want to deal with. Hermione, on the other hand, was deeply enthralled by the conversation. Miercuri's hand was wrapped securely around a knife as Karkaroff glared daggers at her. Dumbledore, completely oblivious, blathered on about a mysterious vanishing room. Fleur was complaining about Hogwarts. Thankfully, soon dinner was over and dancing begun.

Despite beginning as a formal ball, the night quickly escalated from dignified, formal waltzing into a lot of wild partying accompanied by the wizard equivalent of hard rock. Around eleven, most of the Liberty students left to get some sleep. Harry and Hermione joined them. Following the pair were Luna (with extremely sore feet) and Neville (with a severely flushed face). Despite the implications that he had stepped on her toes, the pair was still quite affectionate and happy, with the third year even gaining a kiss goodnight.

As the ball drew to a close, hundreds of people drifted off into a nice, cozy sleep. It was Christmas, after all; early mornings were a week away. As the sun rose, quiet reigned over the castle and all was peaceful for that moment.

* * *

 **Welcome back! The usual policies are in order, of course. So, without further ado:**

 **Oh, the betting pool thing. Yeah, Luna won it. Also, _of course_ the twins have a betting pool for this.**

 **More Addams Family musical jokes!**

 **Yes, Miercuri's family is one of the two Addams family knockoffs. "Miercuri" is, according to Omniglot, "Wednesday" in Romanian. Romania features the Carpathian Mountains and Transylvania. You know, where Dracula is from in _Dracula_.**

 **Awkward romance is my jam. Take that as a warning.**

 **This is an honest description of both getting into women's formal clothes (skipping over attempting to find good dresses that fit) and how a lot of girls act at "formal" events.**

 **Percy is getting the "stop being a stick-in-the-mud-asshole" lecture.**

 **Review, please! See you next week! Oh, and FYI, next week is another Friday update.**


	20. Visits of Some Importance

**Happy Friday! Christmas break post-Ball. The basis of this chapter is Goblet of Fire. I do not own said book.  
**

* * *

"Oh hey, Harry, Hermione," Daniel, one of the older boys, yawned. Dorothy was standing tall and proud, its roof covered with snow. "Some party last night, eh?"

"Definitely. It was nice, though." Harry grinned.

"Are you talking about the dancing being good, the kisses you got from Hermione good, or the bootlegged alcohol good? Well, anyways, come in, we're celebrating Boxing Day. At least, the five of us who know what Boxing Day is."

"Why wouldn't someone know about Boxing Day?"

"Americans don't celebrate it, apparently."

"Weird."

"I know."

"Hey, you've told us that Boxing Day was about thankfulness and family time!" One of the girls yelled indignantly.

"Where is this going?" Daniel asked.

"We're going to watch some good old movies and TV!"

"Which ones?" Johnson's smile betrayed their plan.

"Star Wars, old Star Trek, MCU, _The Incredibles_ , Addams Family, Babylon 5, take your pick!"

* * *

"Honey, did you hear that Beth is willing to babysit?" Phil had a giant smile on his face.

"Are you suggesting we give her the kids and Sirius in order to have a date night?" Melinda asked.

"Yep."

"Are you sure that's a good idea, considering her background?"

"Relax, it'll be fine!" Sirius was curious who this "Beth" was.

* * *

"Why exactly are we watching this?" Hermione asked.

"It's just a little bit warped and twisted."

"A little bit?" None of the flowers had heads!

"Hey, no one brought _Rocky Horror Picture Show_."

"Oh thank God."

" _Rocky Horror Picture Show_?"

"If you don't know, you're not old enough for me to tell you," several of the older students chorused.

* * *

"Sirius?" Melinda sounded concerned.

"Oh, sorry Melinda, I'm fine. She just looks like someone I once knew."

"Would that someone be Marlene McKinnon?" The nun was shooting him an odd look.

"A bit, but more like her daughter than anything else… wait, how do you know the McKinnons?"

"So you think you can love me and leave me to die?" Sirius gasped.

"Holy shit! Mattie! You're all grown up!"

"Yes, Sirius."

"But how?"

 _"_ Obliquate _."_

"Ah."

"Ob-lick-ate?" Skye attempted to repeat the phrase.

"It's a memory charm. Sirius managed to convince me to cast it on him when I came here originally. No, I'm not showing any of you how to do it."

"Aww…"

"Wait, the original time? You went back?"

"Let's not talk about that."

"Okay."

"Skye, you are so not allowed to do that! Tripp, that means you, too!"

"Leo, no explosions!"

"Oh come on, Bruce! Just because Mel and Phil aren't here doesn't mean they're never coming back… Susie! Come on! You're nine!"

"You can play, but you can't destroy anything!"

"Good kids. What, Sirius?"

"It's just… strange seeing you all grown up. It makes me feel…"

"Happy-sad?"

"Happy-sad?"

"Happy-sad is being happy and sad at the same time."

"I guess."

* * *

"Okay, can we play the Game?" Jesse had a twisted sort of grin on his face.

"Hell no!"

"The Game?" Harry questioned.

"Full Disclosure. It's a Garcia Family classic."

"You drink from the chalice and reveal a secret you've never told before."

"Loosely based on the Spanish Inquisition."

"Lovely."

* * *

"I still can remember you as a little kid. Mattie levitating the cat. Mattie destroying a vase. Mattie setting fire to that one asshole." Sirius looked blissful at that last memory.

"Sirius!"

"What? You're not nine anymore." That had been one reason Marlene never let him babysit.

"We're around kids and I'm a nun! Also, my name is Elizabeth now, not Mattie!"

"Seriously?"

"Yes. I'm Sister Elizabeth McKinnon."

"Why?"

"It's complicated."

* * *

"How do you think Sirius and Beth are doing?" Melinda asked.

"Oh, just fine. Tango?" They were in a fancy restaurant in Illinois in winter. This was not the place to tango.

"We're not the Garcias!"

"But we can pretend to be."

"With the spiders and crazy grandma?"

"Grandmama and the spiders bother you the most? Not their daughter being named after a day of the week and wielding a crossbow, the countless poisons, the fact their house is in the middle of the woods, Fester, Pubert, Herman, or Full Disclosure?"

"What are you trying to say?" Melinda was trying not to think about the Garcia family.

"For all of their… oddities, the Garcias do have a lovely marriage. Maybe the tangoing has something to do with it."

"Well, they are crazy together."

"Better than being crazy apart."

* * *

"You're all utterly insane!" Hermione yelled.

"Hey, better crazy together than crazy apart."

"People like us have to stick together, you know. Now, B5 or _The Incredibles_?"

"How about the one not for kids?"

"B5 it is. Harry, Hermione, prepare to be amazed."

* * *

"So, how has life been?" Sirius asked. Elizabeth sighed.

"I've been in the same place for fourteen years, Sirius. I'm a nun. It's fantastic."

"Really?"

"No more wizards. No more madness. No more chances of another Susie."

"Susie?"

"God, I love her to pieces, but she was… not what was desired. She's growing up, though, and it makes me kind of sad."

"Sad?"

"Happy-sad."

"It's good to see you happy, even if you're happy-sad."

* * *

"Merry belated Christmas." Phil kissed his wife as they went home.

"Hey, Boxing Day is close enough for me. And we didn't get pinned into watching after the Carters."

"Good for us."

"Good for sanity."

"Poor Sharon."

"Oh, she'll be fine. She hasn't had a nervous breakdown yet."

"Operative word _yet_."

* * *

"So is he the bad guy?" Harry asked.

"No."

 _"Is he_ the bad guy?" Ashley asked.

"No."

"What about her?" Hermione guessed.

"Nope."

"Him?" Cole suggested.

"Sort of."

"Not really."

"Is there a villain in this series?"

"Yes. You just haven't met them yet."

"Why are we watching this?"

"Because it displays an interesting picture of humanity in the future and has underlying insanity."

"Mostly, it's for the quotes."

"No boom today. Boom tomorrow."

"Who are you?"

"What do you want?"

"I want to see your head on a pike."

"I must visit this Shirley Temple when I go to Earth."

"You moon-faced assassin of joy!"

"I'm being nibbled to death by cats."

"I will rip off your head and use it as a chamber pot."

"There was an ample pool beneath that window."

"I'll assume you knew that."

"Okay…"

"Better crazy together than crazy apart."

* * *

"Sirius, stop turning into a dog and running away from your responsibilities!" Elizabeth shrieked.

"Fine, Lizzy."

"Can you please call me by my actual name?"

"Never, my little angel."

"Sirius, you're being weird again."

"Sorry."

* * *

"It's getting late. You two should head back up to the castle. We'll help you get back on track with nonmagical ed this week. It's a good thing that most of us have gone through those courses, albeit in different places. Also, it's pretty good you only skipped middle school. The only real thing you learn without early courses is patience." The Liberty students waved the couple off as they went back up into Hogwarts.

"How do you know this?"

"I was GT, hun. I know a lot of things."

"Well, you learn things in language courses and electives-"

"Which are not mandated."

"Yes, they are."

"Really? They're not required in Texas beyond one year of fine arts in middle school and the grab bag of high school and/or transfer requirements."

"What?" Hermione asked.

"Just some education measuring. Anyways, you two can come up tomorrow and we'll help. Have a good night and tell the others they're plenty welcome, too!"

* * *

 **Welcome back! The usual policies are in order, of course. So, without further ado:**

 **Boxing day is Not a Thing in the US. Of the things mentioned, _the Incredibles_ is the only one remotely family time-esque.**

 _ **Rocky Horror Picture Show**_ **is even MORE not appropriate. They're watching the Addams family if you couldn't tell from the flowers comment.**

 **Obliquate is a memory spell I made up. Think _Obliviate_ but reversible with a keyword. "So you think you can love me and leave me to die" is from "Bohemian Rhapsody" and it both kind of to the point and a well-picked trigger as it would likely not be set off in the magical world bu would be easily triggered both by Beth and by exposure to the nonmagical world.**

 **Happy-sad and Full Disclosure are both references to the Addams Family Musical. The Garcias are Addams Family #2.**

 **That's also a reference to the musical; it's part of the dialogue in "Happy-Sad", somewhat modified.**

 **I believe I mentioned the Garcias being Addams Family #2?**

 **While _the Incredibles_ is arguably not for children, B5 is decidedly less meant for children.**

 **"Not what was desired" is a line from _Marie Antionette_ , which is incidentally the only film to ever be filmed in Versailles.**

 **Sharon is Melinda's sister and the primary reason Phil and Melinda don't have biological kids.**

 **These are all legit B5 quotes or at least close to legit quotes. The "is he the villain?" is deserved as the big baddies are not revealed for a while and there are plenty of despicable not-villains here.**

 **Another discussion on America's school system. The rant from two weeks ago still applies.**

 **Review, pretty please, even though I can't answer until Sunday! See you next week!**


	21. Education of Some Importance

**And now, for some nonmagical education. The basis of this chapter is Goblet of Fire. I do not own said book.  
**

* * *

"Okay, yous. How many of you can add and subtract?" All of them raised their hands. "Multiply and divide?" Again, all hands went up. "Do basic algebra?" Hermione's hand stayed in the air. "Brilliant. Hermione, talk to Matthews about getting a McDougal textbook on your level; that's what we've got here education-wise. If you need help, nag James Clark. He's good at this kind of stuff." Hermione nodded and left. "Okay, so these letters are constants. They represent an unknown number. Unless told otherwise, they have the same value throughout the problem. You can treat them like numbers but DO NOT assume their value unless you have reason to. Got it?" The group nodded. "I have practice problems. If you can get this down, it's pretty simple."

* * *

"Okay, y'all. I'm from Texas. You know, the state where passing scores on standardized tests are calculated after everyone takes it, regardless of knowledge of the material. However, I did have an awesome IPC teacher, so I can safely teach you how to blow stuff up."

"We get to blow stuff up?" Fred and George sounded thrilled.

"Well, you don't need to, but fire labs are the best. We'll get to those once I am convinced you won't burn Dorothy down, injure each other, or steal materials. So, for now, basic chemistry. This thing," Rick pointed to a diagram looking like a blob surrounded by rings, "is a somewhat inaccurate representation of an atom. Everything is made up of atoms; they're the smallest particles to retain an element's properties. Elements are substances made up of one kind of atom. The lump in the middle is the nucleus; if contains protons, which define which element we're dealing with and have a positive charge, and neutrons, which have no charge and keep this thing from self-destructing. The little balls on the lines are electrons; they have a negative charge and cause a lot of properties. Okay, this is not an accurate model; the accurate one is all weird shapes and quantum mechanics-y and I don't get it. It's a bunch of crazy math, basically. For our purposes, the shells work well enough.

"Atoms want to fill their shells. You fill them from the smallest up. The first shell needs two electrons, the second needs eight, the third needs eighteen, and then it gets kinda screwy for complicated reasons. To fill these, atoms need more electrons. If they're sharing, it's a covalent bond; you see these in nonmetals, otherwise known as the section over here." Rick tapped one side of the Periodic Table. "The other method involves an electronegative atom or molecule - one that's really grabby for electrons - swiping however many electrons from neighboring atoms. The swiper is negative, the swiped is positive, and opposites attract. Generally, this is a metal/nonmetal combo. Everything is based on where those atoms go to, which is balancing chemical equations, something I will show you another time. If you can understand this, it's pretty simple."

* * *

"Okay, Modern World History as taught to me by the internet. First, there was the First World war. It started in 1914 and the most immediate instigator was the death of Grand Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his wife. This ended up killing a crapton of people and ended in the Treaty of Versailles. This treaty will be important later because it put a lot of strain on Germany.

"Before we get to that, there was a decade called the Roaring Twenties, famous in the States for flappers and alcohol despite this being the Age of Prohibition. That fiasco can be discussed at length later. Thanks to unsafe loans and a bunch of other stuff, there was a big financial bubble. In 1929, the bubble burst, leading to the Great Depression. Effects of that are a whole different story, but this crash was worldwide. Now, this crash especially hit Germany, which was already under strain because of the Treaty of Versailles. This instability led to the rise of the German Nationalist Socialist Party, better known as the Nazi Party.

"This lead to a lot of not-good things like World War 2 and genocide. Happy story. Now, what does this tell you about history?"

"Everything's connected?"

"Yep. Think about this and give me an example of this from the magical world. If you can understand that and that just about everything has an ulterior reason that isn't pretty and history is pretty simple."

* * *

"Welcome to the basics of English. I'm not going over much grammar since you seem literate enough. Instead, we're taking the deep thought version. Who knows what symbolism is?"

"Symbolism is the use of an object to represent another."

"Exactly, Hermione. Now, symbolism can be really complicated and isn't just limited to things. In _To Kill a Mockingbird_ , which is something I'll probably get you to read, the mockingbird symbol is important. It's a sin to kill a mockingbird because they harm no one and sing for people. The mockingbird is both a symbol for innocence and symbolized by two characters, one of whom dies and the other of whom is attacked. Now, what kind of theme does this display?"

"That innocence is crushed by life?"

"That's pretty good, considering that you've never read the book. My point is that symbols can be complex and far-reaching. Literature doesn't have to be easy or have one answer. If you can understand that, this is simple."

* * *

"It it just me or is all of this confusing?" Neville asked.

"Not really," Hermione replied. "I mean, it's what we learn in the nonmagical world."

"Hermione, you were GT before this death trap," Harry bluntly pointed out.

"Harry, you would be too if not for Dudley," Hermione replied, just as brusquely.

"I'm nowhere near as smart as you, Hermione. If I tried to be like you, I'd go insane," Harry refuted.

"No, you'd just be a bit challenged."

"Hermione, you're advanced in all of your nonmagical subjects, even years ahead in a few, and top of the class in all of your magical ones. I'm average in my magical ones without taking nonmagical ones on top of them."

"Harry, you're smart. You're just not applying yourself because you fear it'll draw undue attention. If you tried, you'd be second and not twelfth. Speaking of which, both of you," Hermione gestured at Harry and Neville, "should at least try for higher marks. I have faith you can do it."

"Yes, ma'am!" Both boys snapped mock salutes before nodding their assent.

"Now, Harry, how are you doing with the task preparations? If I'm going to end up at the bottom of the Black Lake, I want to be assured that you can rescue me."

"Well, Neville's been helping me. This is my plan so far…"

* * *

 **Welcome back! The usual policies are in order, of course. So, without further ado:**

 **Hilton-McDougal makes textbooks notable for the fact that the "real-world" problems occasionally can't be done by people with degrees in math.**

 **Basic chemistry! And how I'm pretty sure STAAR tests work!**

 **This is how I know anything history-related that didn't happen in the US between 1776 and 1876: google. Also, history is shown here as not just dates because that bores everyone to tears.**

 **This is legit TKM symbolism. Hogwarts students write essays, so they know the basic tenets of English at a bare minimum.**

 **Do I know people like Hermione? Yes. Am I one of them? Sort of. Are there bets on when some of them will have a complete nervous breakdown? Yes, yes there are. Take this as a precautionary warning.**

 **See you next week! Review!**


	22. Rescues of Some Importance

**The basis of this chapter is Goblet of Fire. I do not own said book.  
**

* * *

"Mom? Why are you calling?"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"

"Mom?"

"I just heard a crash outside, so I went out to check it out, and the door was open…"

"Mom…"

"Emily, Bruce is gone. No note, no letter of explanation. He's just gone."

"Okay, I'm giving you over to Matthews in a second. Did you call Mrs. Hill? Or Miss Hand?"

"Yeah, Maria knows and so does Vicky. I think she went to tell Director Fury because he's pissed."

"At me?"

"Nope. At Dumbledore. You know that Beth has a long lecture to give you later, right?"

"I know that very well."

"Now, get your brother back and be careful! I don't want to lose my baby girl!"

"Mom, I'm the eldest; I'm hardly the baby."

"To me, you'll always be my baby."

"Ms. Falk, what happened?"

"Someone apparated to the front gate because the wards prohibit getting any nearer. They got over the fence, picked the back door, and snatched Bruce without waking me up. I only realized this when they disapparated. Beyond that, I have no clue what happened."

"Send the officers and whoever else can come over; they've banned every adult who isn't a teacher, a judge, or pureblooded from attending."

"Escaping ire?"

"Considering the hostages are Bruce, two girls with nonmagical parents, one whose parents are foreign nationals, and a part-Veela, yep. I think Lawrence and Theo can slip in because they have magic, though. Whoever MCPS sends has to be admitted because of treaty violations and them being officers of the law."

"Great."

* * *

"Well, all our champions are ready for the second task, which will start on my whistle." Krum was glaring daggers at Karkaroff. Harry decided that there would be a very interesting fight once the hostages were out of harm's way. "They have precisely one hour to recover what has been taken from them."

"Don't you mean hostages?" Matthews, Flitwick, Sprout, Matthews, and Johnson muttered in sync. Well, Johnson yelled.

"Excuse me?" Bagman sounded indignant.

"They use of the term _what_ implies that the lucky people trapped at the bottom of the lake are objects," Johnson elaborated. "Which, considering that at least two of them are children, is not a good comment to make."

"Hostages shows that they are not down there by choice," McGonagall added.

"Well, er… the task must take place now." Emily and Fleur nodded to each other in silent agreement: _kids before rivalry_. Cedric was looking out over the water, trying to see Cho in the deep, soulless depths. "On the count of three then. One… two… _three_!" The competitors were off.

Generally, when rescue training, especially for downed objects, occurs, it is initially or totally done in a swimming pool. While pools can go to quite some depth, providing a challenge on the front of diving and "rescue", the water is generally clear enough to see the rough outline of the target. Of course, looking for something in chlorinated water presents its own challenge, but any obstacle or reward is at least somewhat visible. Visibility of goal aside, the water is generally warm enough to not risk severe hypothermia. The Black Lake was nothing like that.

The water, to its name, was nearly black, with visibility a foot or two at is best. The water was freezing and Harry wished he had the forethought to get a diving suit and not just swim trunks. Krum, being mostly shark, didn't notice the chill in his well-adapted form. Fleur, however, was already sporting blue lips due in no part to her bubblehead charm or cosmetics when a grindylow grabbed her ankle.

 _"An hour long you'll have to look_  
 _And to recover what we took…"_

Emily, being from a very landlocked state but having been taught survival swimming and even the basics of SCUBA, was relying more on her ears than her eyes to find the hostages. Once she got there, well… those merpeople had better stay out of her way.

 _"... your time's half gone, so tarry not_  
 _Lest what you seek stays here to rot…"_

As she fought her way to the surface, Fleur began to sob. She had failed. She was going to lose her sister. Gabrielle didn't deserve this. As she sat on the dock, Madam Pomfrey healing the scratches, a man she had never seen before draped a black coat over her shoulders.

"Once the others surface," the man ordered, "two best divers, into the lake for rescue ops. Lawrence, if you would be so kind to show us the direction we need to head at that point?"

"A guiding spell, which works off of touch and not sight, would be better with the murky water and well within my power. I would only need some signature of those to be rescued." Fleur nodded at the two men who had just given her hope and produced a small necklace with a rose pendant.

"It is Gabrielle's," Fleur explained. "It's protective."

"This Gabrielle is a child?" another man, this one tall, broad, and very blond, asked. He wounded enraged. Fleur nodded.

"My sister." The man who had given her his coat turned around to find a very enraged Madam Maxime glaring daggers at Dumbledore.

"Rest assured, Mister Dumbly-dorr, that we will be having words about the safety of my students later," Madame Maxime warned.

"Madame, could you please restrain that until after we have impressed upon him the implications of kidnapping a small child? My dear sister-in-law was very insistent on that discussion occurring, along with inviting him to face her and discover just what a nonmagical woman can do when pressed," the man identified as Lawrence explained.

"Of course, Mr.?"

"Falk. Lawrence Falk."

"Mr. Falk, provided that he is enough pieces to facilitate my discussion afterwards."

"That can be arranged; I'm sure Melinda doesn't want him dead before she can show her wrath." Fleur grinned. This just might end beautifully after all. Far below the docks, Emily approached the mermish village. Inside the square, merpeople sand right in front of the five hostages tied to a statue by what looked suspiciously like magic-proof rope. Whoever had designed this task wanted the hostages to be rescued only in a great struggle.

The hostages themselves appeared asleep, something Emily was immediately grateful for. Bruce was incredibly hydrophobic for reasons she really didn't want to know. Disturbingly, rails of bubbles were coming out of their dark lips. If the hostages weren't rescued, would they die from hypoxia or hypothermia? As she fished a Swiss Army knife out of a pocket in her dive suit ("Rule Twelve", her father had told her long ago, "is never go anywhere without a Swiss Army knife or your wand"), Krum swished up beside her in half-shark form, grabbing Miercuri with one powerfully muscled fin-arm. Emily hacked at the rope at Bruce's feet, deciding to come down for any unrescued hostages after her little brother had run through his panic attack.

Cedric was first to resurface, a very wet and very angry Cho grabbing at his neck. Krum carefully reached the surface next, gills below the waterline. Miercuri gasped, spat out water, and quickly began swimming to shore slightly above Krum. Emily propelled herself upwards, her arms full of panicking four-year-old.

"Need help?" Miercuri shouted.

"Shh, Bruce, you're fine… that would be nice!" Emily shouted back.

"Can we double-swim?"

"Double-swim?"

"You on one side, me on other, going at the same speed."

"Sure." The three went toward shore, Krum carefully watching them and Cedric and Cho from underwater. Harry was last to come up, with Hermione separating from him as soon as she was breathing and has given him a quick peck on the lips. As they reached the dock, people crouched on the ledge to help them up. Miercuri and Emily surrendered Bruce to a set of scarlet red nails before accepting tugs from a maniacally grinning Theo and Johnson. Hermione and Harry were pulled out by McGonagall and Lawrence. Fleur began to panic as she realized her sister was still in the lake before Lawrence muttered something in Parseltongue and Johnson and a woman Emily knew to be Maria Hill dove in with bubblehead charms. Harry felt a pang of guilt for leaving the young girl at the bottom of the lake before remembering that he wouldn't have been able to rescue Hermione and Gabrielle at once due to their combined weight.

"What happened?" Harry asked as Madame Pomfrey wrapped them in towels and the champions cast drying spells at one another. Krum had been helped onto the dock a second ago after his transfiguration had worn off. The hostages (sans Gabrielle) and the champions were sitting in an enclosed circle, avoiding the wind. Emily laughed before answering.

* * *

 **Welcome back! The usual policies are in order, of course. So, without further ado:**

 **MCPS is Magical Child Protective Services, which is a division of normal CPS that I completely made up.**

 **This is my impression of why the second task was beyond idiotic. Also, the Black Lake should be at least partially frozen over.**

 **More MCU character jokes! Sorry, it's just kind of fun to do.**

 **Women being badass is also fun to write.**

 **See you next week! Review!**


	23. Outrage of Some Importance

**The basis of this chapter is Goblet of Fire. I do not own said book.  
**

* * *

"Someone kidnapped my brother," Emily began. "Mom, being the smart woman she is, called Magical Child Protection Services since he's not technically my brother yet." At this, she hugged Bruce tighter. He was still shivering. "Director Fury, Mrs. Hill, and Miss Hand were not amused. Since Uncle Loki and Uncle Thor are capable magicians, they were called in for assistance. They were also not amused. Beyond that is anyone's guess."

"Well, upon discovery that Miss Delacour was incapable of completing her task and that it was likely difficult or impossible for you all to rescue her," the man Harry guessed was Fury began, "I told my subordinates to rescue her after the champions had finished, in addition to any other hostages who couldn't be rescued. How many of you are minors?" Harry, Hermione, and Bruce raised their hands. "Names, ages, and contact information for your parents, you two."

"Harry Potter, fourteen. My parents are dead," Harry supplied. "My relatives probably wish I'd drowned."

"They don't like you?"

"Yes."

"Talk to Victoria or Ms. Matthews later."

"Yes, sir."

"Hermione Granger, fourteen," Hermione stated. "My parents are Daniel and Emma Granger, nonmagical dentists who live in London. They can be reached at -" Hermione rattled off two phone numbers "and their work address, where they probably are, is-" Hermione gave a street address.

"Thank you, Miss Granger. Miss Delacour, I trust you wish to inform your parents yourself?"

"Yes, Monsieur. I was planning to go with Madame Maxime once she is fit to portkey."

"Good. Miss Granger, do you want me to take you to your parents or bring your parents here?"

"Bring them here, if you could. I don't feel fit for traveling."

"Probably low-grade hypoxia," Irina Volkov, who had managed to vault the fence keeping spectators at bay unnoticed, said, passing out blankets and, oddly, hairbrushes. Miercuri and Hermione gladly accepted them at began to work the knots out of their hair. Emily grinned, having braided back her hair beforehand. "Mammalian dive reflex, my ass. You were under there way too fucking long."

"Mammalian dive reflex?" Krum asked.

"Sometimes, when someone is submerged in freezing water, nerves in the face signal the heart to pump blood only between the heart and lungs for oxygen conservation," Irina explained. "This has let kids who were trapped in freezing rivers for a while survive the encounter but you guys were under way too long for that to be safe."

"Anyways, I can get your parents and will be back with them and the Falks momentarily." Fury stepped back and disappeared.

"Law enforcement portkey," Lawrence explained. "Would defeat the purpose if they couldn't break through wards. Now, Harry, I've heard you're a Parselmouth?"

"Yes," Harry replied uneasily.

"Have you ever tried Parselmagic?"

"No."

"Marvelous. Call or send me a letter sometime. I have been looking for an apprentice."

"Harry, you might want to wait until becoming a legal adult on that one," Emily warned. "Uncle Loki has a tendency to be… unstable. While I don't protest you learning Parselmagic, you might want to just go for instruction from a book with minor help for now."

"What makes you say that?" Harry asked. Emily grimaced.

"He kind of nearly destroyed the largest metropolitan area in the United States once."

"That was not my fault!" Lawrence protested.

"Yes, I know you were possessed then. However, you were in the right state of mind when you thought 'oh, I'll stab myself with this magic spear'."

"You know there was a compulsion charm on it!"

"Okay, okay, but the Arctic incident? That was of your own doing."

"Are you two serious?" Harry asked.

"Very," Lawrence and Emily replied in sync.

"Okay, could I just use a book for now?" Harry questioned. Lawrence rolled his eyes and produced a small spiral-bound notebook. "Thank you, sir."

"You're welcome." At that moment, Fury had popped back with two very angry sets of parents and Johnson and Hill resurface with a blue-lipped Gabrielle. In very short order, Gabrielle was in Fleur's lap and Dumbledore was hiding from the pissed parents.

"Mom!" Hermione yelled. "Mom! Dad!"

"Oh, hello sweetheart," Dan Granger called over his shoulder. "I'll be there in a moment, just let me kill your headmaster."

"Mr. Granger, I believe I have called that honor," Melinda told the man. "Though I'm sure I can allow you some scraps to beat."

"Ladies, gentlemen, not the time," Fury declared. "You can work out who gets to kill him after marks are given and then return home with your children if you wish." Nodding, Dan and Emma sat down next to the huddle.

"So, how's school been, Hermione?" Emma asked.

"Besides the Tournament death trap, just fine," Hermione replied. "May I introduce you to my boyfriend-"

"The ever-discussed Mr. Potter?" Dan guessed. "Son, we are going to have a talk later. Understand?" Harry nodded. "Good. Princess, exactly why did you agree to be at the lake bottom?"

"I didn't," Hermione explained. Lawrence's glare turned murderous. "Snape didn't even ask."

"I see. Now, Ms.-"

"Falk, Melinda Falk," Melinda introduced from her spot next to her children. "I'm Emily and Bruce's mother."

"Thank you. Ms. Falk, can I kill Professor Snape while you kill Dumbledore?"

"I certainly have no problem with that," Melinda hummed. "Though I think Director Fury may need to arrest one or both of them. I have to say, this could've been far worse without Hermione helping form plans. Can I say that your daughter is a very clever person, from what I've seen and been told? She reminds me of Jemma but with less pyromania."

"Thank you," Emma replied. "Jemma?"

"Jemma is adopted child number four."

"Four?"

"It's a long story."

"I am very interested to hear it at some time our children don't have hypothermia."

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached our decision," Dumbledore announced. "We have decided to award marks out of fifty for each of the champions, as follows. Fleur Delacour, though she demonstrated excellent use of the Bubble-Head Charm, was attacked by grindylows as she approached her goal and failed to retrieve her hostage. We award her 25 points."

"I deserved zero," Fleur muttered.

"You didn't drown or catch hypothermia. That's worth something," Emma pointed out, looking at the murky depths.

"Cedric Diggory, who also use the Bubble-Head Charm, was first to return with his hostage, though he returned one minute outside the time limit of an hour. We therefore award him 47 points."

"It's a massive, freezing lake. What did you expect?" Cedric grumbled.

"Viktor Krum used an incomplete form of Transfiguration, which was nevertheless effective, and was second to return with his hostage. We award him 40 points."

"That was really complex magic. I copied a rune out of a book," Emily pointed out.

"Emily Falk used a complex rune formation which was intricate and effective. She arrived up less than a minute after Mr. Krum. We award her 42 points."

"I literally copied the mermaid rune out of a nature-watching book and added a modifier. Not that complex," Emily grumbled.

"It is here," Harry pointed out.

"Harry Potter used gillyweed to great effect. He returned last, roughly three minutes behind Miss Falk. We award him 38 points."

"Decent," Harry mumbled.

"It puts you tied for first place with me," Emily replied.

"The third and final task will take place at dusk on the twenty-fourth of June. The champions will be notified of what is coming precisely one month beforehand. Thank you all for your support of the champions."

"Is it just me or does this seem like a trap?" Emily asked.

"Trapped in a dangerous task with limited vision? No, that seems perfectly safe," Dan said with great sarcasm.

"Good. Now, onto other matters," Fury continued calmly. "Albus Dumbledore, you are hereby restricted from entering the magical US on the grounds of child endangerment and gross negligence. If not for the quick actions of the champions, Madame Pomfrey, and Miss Volkov, not to mention my officers, there would be deaths today. Reflect on that."

"Sir, I assure you that no one was in real-" Dumbledore was cut off. For being a nonmagical woman of short stature, Melinda Falk packed a mean right hook. Theo, Phil, and Lawrence grinned.

"I dare you to finish that sentence," Melinda growled. "I've seen kids catch hypothermia playing in the snow fully clothed. You stuck a bunch of children in a freezing lake in nothing but their pajamas."

"On that note, I believe that we should leave," Phil interrupted.

"Good riddance to muggle filth," Snape sneered. "Such a shame no one died." Snape soon discovered that, like Thor, Theo carried a hammer and, like Thor, was unafraid to deliver mighty blows with it. With that, the Falks left.

"Hermione, stay safe," Emma and Dan chorused as they too left. Slowly, the spectator section and dock emptied.

"Well, now we have a break to do nothing," Emily said cheerfully.

"Nothing related to the task," Krum grumbled.

"Viktor, if you and your lovely lady murder Karkaroff, please do remember to not get caught. It'd be such a pain to lose you this late in the game. The Bulgarian National Quidditch Team would never recover."

* * *

 **Welcome back! The usual policies are in order, of course. So, without further ado:**

 **The mammalian dive reflex is actually a thing. I'm pretty surprised no one got hypothermia in GoF.**

 **And Lawrence, while technically not Loki, does have some of the same issues. And Parselmagic. I feel that there should be way more Parselmagic in HP.**

 **Long hair + water currents = tangled mess.**

 **Like I said last week, badass women being badass is fun to write.**

 **I made this rune complex up. Basically, it lets you breathe underwater.**

 **...and that totally isn't foreshadowing.**

 **I may have mentioned before that I dislike Snape?**

 **And this is how I picture most of the characters reacting to Krum deciding to kill Karkaroff.**

 **See you next week! Review!**


	24. Chats of Some Importance

**The basis of this chapter is Goblet of Fire. I do not own said book.  
**

* * *

"Hello, Sirius." Sirius grinned at the healthy, somewhat happy Harry. Harry grinned back; his godfather looked better than ever.

"Hey, Harry. How was the second task?" Harry sighed. That was one thing he really didn't want to discuss.

"Haven't you heard?" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I know what happened; I do live with the Falks, after all. I was looking for your opinion on the chaos."

"It was a death trap."

"How so?"

"They stuck five people who weren't British Purebloods in a freezing lake overnight. Madame Pomfrey said that they almost certainly would've died if they'd been in there longer."

"That seems roughly on par with the normal Ministry behavior. At least no one died."

"No one's died yet," a fifteen-year-old with his nose in a textbook corrected.

"Thank you for that cheerful statement, Tripp," Sirius shot back.

"Fifty percent of Triwizard fatalities are the last task," Julia pointed out.

"And thank you for that bit of optimism, Julia." The sarcasm in Sirius' voice was so thick you could practically touch it.

"You're welcome," Julia replied with even more snark.

"My point is that I don't think the second task can be topped in possible casualties. I mean, I know the third task is happening with low light but there aren't angry merpeople and a risk of hypothermia."

"Well, there's a chance Hermione won't live that long."

"Why?" Sirius happened to like Hermione quite a bit; she was Harry's best friend (and now girlfriend), after all. What wasn't to love about her?

"Another moron sent a letter bomb." Sirius groaned.

"Was McGonagall pissed?"

"Very. So was Flitwick. So was Sprout. I think they're more worried that an attack on a student can breach the Hogwarts wards, though."

"Flitwick likes Hermione pretty well, from what I can remember. Hufflepuff's main trait is loyalty, not just to their house but to others as well. I think it's pretty reasonable and understandable."

"Do you have any advice, going forwards?"

"Set up mail wards." Harry rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, we know, Hermione's looking into it." Hermione hadn't found a way to put the wards up in Hogwarts yet but if anyone could do this, it would be her.

"Be safe and don't get killed." Harry laughed.

"No shit, Sirius."

"Harry, you yourself told me the story of how an eleven-year-old jumped on the back of a troll. I feel that it needs to be said."

"Just don't do anything too risky yourself, you hear? I'd like to know my godfather before he ends up in the big prank store in the sky."

"Seriously? You went there?"

"Of course I did. See you another time."

"Be bad, Prongslet."

* * *

"What's the fallout like over there?" Joanna and Lamia were back. Joanna had marked dark circles under her eyes, almost as if she had lost a few nights of sleep over the second task.

"Do you understand what happened last week?" Harry asked. To him, the question was akin to asking what the fallout of a nuclear bomb was. While it would make sense in a theoretical context, the effects were very clear after the fact.

"Oh, we know. Sister Elizabeth won't shut up about it," Lamia replied. Her tone implied that Sister Elizabeth hadn't been the only one ranting. "Even though the US and Canada are bigger than the UK, the magical community over here is pretty small. Word spreads. When one of your friends lives with a pureblood runaway, word spreads rather quickly. When your mother is another escapee with an ear to the ground, a lecture on this subject is formed within an hour of the event itself. I think my little brother is still fangirling over you."

"Little brother?" A pained expression appeared on Harry's face.

"Yep. I've got one older brother and an older sister - they're twins, a younger brother, and a baby sister who's still not old enough to walk. My mom believes in a big family." Harry thought that was a bit of an understatement. Five children was a large number from any context he had.

"Please don't tell me you were raised on stories of me." Lamia raised one eyebrow before Joanna whispered something that sounded distinctly like _"he's the one that your mom thought was propaganda"_ into Lamia's ear. With an eyeroll, Lamia worked up an answer.

"Please. Of course not. We were told bedtime stories of Sinbad the Sailor and _The Princess Bride_. My mom's not that time of woman."

"Sinbad the Sailor?"

"He's a legendary figure of titular occupation. If you're of a certain generation, he's most famous for a string of very bad movies." Harry sighed in relief.

"Thank God. No more Weasleys in my life." Joanna frowned.

"Weasleys?" The question begged to be asked.

"Ginny's a textbook stalker and Ron needs to grow the hell up."

"Ah." Harry quickly tried to find something else to talk about.

"Matthews said that we should read _The Count of Monte Cristo_ when we have a lot of spare time. Hermione has an abridged version but I want to know what you think about it." No one seemed surprised at the sudden topic change. Julia turned around.

"Did you just say _The Count of Monte Cristo_?" Julia asked. Harry nodded. "Oh my God! I love that book!"

"It'd be a good pick for Sirius," Lamia noted.

"Bit too paralleled. Wouldn't want him to get ideas," Joanna pointed out.

"What's it about?" Harry asked.

"There's this guy, Dantes, who gets convicted of a crime he doesn't commit. He breaks out of prison and finds a fortune and then proceeds to enact revenge," Joanna explained. "Really, it's way more complicated than that but that's the basics. It's interesting and a good example of why the Evil Overlord List exists."

"The Evil Overlord List?"

"It's a rulebook for villains to follow if they wish to succeed," Lamia elaborated. "Things like 'I will make my minions wear clear face shields' and 'any adorable animal sidekick will be summarily executed.' I love it. I believe Joanna is trying to say that Dantes' revenge plot is far more complex and failure-prone than necessary."

"Alright. I need to do homework now." Sure, it wasn't due for a week, but Harry wanted it out of the way before more work would pile on top of it. Procrastination was a slippery slope when attempting to fix one's grades. Joanna and Lamia nodded.

"Okay. Now that I think about it, we should do ours, too. See you later." The image cut out and Harry pulled out parchment, writing an essay about the effects of the First Goblin War for the seventeenth time.

* * *

 **Welcome back! The usual policies are in order, of course. So, without further ado:**

 **This is just about my opinion on the second task and ministry.**

 **Sinbad the Sailor is an actual myth. He ended up as a question on a reading guide for _The Count of Monte Cristo_. I asked my parents. They laughed.**

 **The Evil Overlord List is an amazing thing. Google it.**

 **See you next week! Review!**


	25. Talks of Some Importance

**The basis of this chapter is Goblet of Fire. I do not own said book.  
**

* * *

"So, what have you got planned?" Hermione was curious after the week of Harry skirting around her questions. It was their first big date, after all, not like the awkward half-dates they'd had before or the Yule Ball. It was a Hogsmeade weekend, of course, but it was an extended one, with students only needing to be back by ten.

"Well, I was thinking we could start off with a dose of Polyjuice or Metamorph Potion to avoid the stalkers and reporters during the Hogsmeade weekend," Harry began. "Then go meet up with Sirius in whichever US city he's sent me a portkey to for a nice, normal date. You know, dinner at a somewhat fancy restaurant, flowers, chocolate, maybe ice skating, and we're both back here by ten."

"That sounds wonderful."

* * *

"Hey, pup. Having a good date?" Sirius snickered at the pair's blushing. "Welcome to the wonderful city of Chicago, Illinois. I am here as your guide to the wonderful world of deep-dish pizza."

"Deep-dish pizza?"

"You'll like it, I promise." Some time later, after several slices of pizza and some chatting at an ice rink (followed by laughing at Sirius' attempt at skating), Hermione noticed the time. "You two need to go back. I'll see you at the end of the year. Harry, don't piss off Dan Granger. Hermione, feel justified in neutering my godson if he acts like an idiot."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Bye, Sirius!"

* * *

"Hello, Harry."

"Hello, Mr. Granger."

"Now, can you guess what this is about?"

"I think so."

"Well, I'm going to tell you this anyways: Hermione is my little princess, always has been, always will be, and if you hurt her I'll-"

"Castrate me?"

"No, just give you a large amount of dental work without anesthetic or painkillers. Where did you get that idea from?"

"My godfather."

"Hmm. I knew I liked that man."

* * *

"So, are you sure about this?" Emily looked nervous.

"Yes, why?" Fred was unconcerned.

"You do realize my uncles are probably going to be home, right?"

"Good, I wanted to ask Lawrence about pranks." Emily snickered and rolled her eyes.

"On your own head be it. Just please don't screw this up, okay?"

"Yes, Em. I know."

* * *

"Ah, so you must be the Fred that my dearest niece keeps talking about," Lawrence looked little like either of his brothers but had rather stolen elements from both of them. He had Phil's slim build and dark hair but Theo's height and mannerisms.

"Yes, sir," Fred replied.

"You must understand that Emily and I are very, very close. She is so much like a younger Magda that it's uncanny."

"Magda, sir?"

"Magda was my wife. We met when we were nineteen-year-old fools. Theo and I had had a… falling out, our father had died, our mother was in the hospital, and Phil was off at college. For a long time, Magda was the light of my life. She died four years ago. Nasty accident."

"I'm sorry, sir."

"Don't be. She won't stop being dead. Now, what I was going to say is that Emily is like Magda in many ways, which rather endears her to me. The largest difference, besides hair color, is that Magda was screwed over by a man long before I met her. If you try to hurt Emily… well, the police probably wouldn't be able to identify your body if they ever found it. Understand?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good boy. Now, Emily said you wanted to talk to me about pranks…"

* * *

"Ah, young Mister Weasley. I require a word."

"You too, Theo?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Lawrence, Loki, whatever he goes by, has already given me the shovel talk."

"Shovel talk? I merely wanted to inform you on the beauty of lightning. It truly is a wondrous thing, wrath from the heavens brought down to Earth in a single second. Now, if Emily comes off worse for wear because of you, you would need to watch over your shoulder."

"For you?"

"Me? Oh no. You would just be watching, waiting for the thunderbolt that would end your pathetic life. Then again, if we happened to cross paths, a simple blow of Mjolnir would suffice."

"I understand, sir."

* * *

"Is this the shovel talk again?"

"Of a sort. I assume my brothers have already impressed upon you why you shouldn't harm Emily?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm here to add my end. See, son, I work for Caterpillar. Caterpillar makes construction equipment. If you dare to hurt here and come back here, well, you'll soon understand just how heavy heavy machinery is."

"Wouldn't that be vehicular homicide?"

"Maybe. If I didn't have a truck handy, I could always beat the daylights out of you. I was the Illinois Lightweight Boxing Champion four years running. Let that inform you of the consequences."

* * *

"Fred? Have you gotten the shovel talk yet?"

"Three times."

"Good. You know the action and some of the consequences. I would just like to put it out there that I have a black belt in three separate martial arts."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Also, the Carters are coming over. Be prepared for another couple of discussions."

* * *

"Pietro, Wanda, what do you want?"

"Has Daddy told you what will happen if you hurt Emily?"

"Yes."

"Did he tell you that I would rip you apart into bitty pieces and sprinkle them over the garden as fertilizer?"

"No."

"Well, I will rip you apart into itty bitty pieces and use them as fertilizer, though Pietro is advocating for running out onto the Illinois River at night and dropping you in the middle. He can run on water, you know."

"Thank you for the warning."

"You're welcome."

* * *

"Now, Fred, I'm sure you know what this is about by now."

"Yes, Ms. Carter: if I hurt Emily then I will not survive the aftermath."

"Good. Now, I'm sure you've got a list threats by now, right?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Add me and Daniel shooting you with every semiautomatic we own to the list."

"Yes, ma'am. Does this mean I'm not going to get a talk from Daniel?"

"We agreed I could do the talking."

"Thank you."

* * *

"Great. Another one?"

"If you hurt Emily, we'll-"

"Shoot me? Beat me up? Smite me? Run me over? Rip me into little pieces? Drown me?"

"No, we'll show you the power of explosives."

"Fun."

* * *

"Fred? Have you heard the threats yet?"

"Most of them. Are you going to add to the list, Skye?"

"Oh, I wouldn't kill you; I'd hack the internet and make your life a living hell."

"Good to know."

"Oh, Jane and Betty asked for me to tell you that unless you want to know what nightshade poisoning feels like , don't hurt Emily."

"Thank you, Skye."

"Just felt the need to pass the message on."

* * *

"Hey, Alfred. Is this another shovel talk?"

"Have the others given you more than enough reasons to never hurt my sister intentionally?"

"Yes."

"Then I just want you to know that you two work well together. Before I get any little nieces or nephews, I expect to see a ring on my sister's finger. Got it?"

"Yes."

"Good. You've survived that so you're pretty much golden. Welcome to the family; please avoid the nuts and howler monkeys that have fallen out of the tree."

* * *

 **Welcome back! The usual policies are in order, of course. So, without further ado:**

 **Chicago deep-dish pizza is an American classic.**

 **And the shovel talk trope. Because why not.**

 **This chapter is also a timeskip to when the third task is announced.**

 **See you next week! Review!**


	26. Discoveries of Some Importance

**The basis of this chapter is Goblet of Fire. I do not own said book.  
**

* * *

"If we have no clue what we're doing next, how will we prepare?" Harry wondered. Emily snorted.

"Harry, you're already at a sixth-year level or above for casting spells," Matthews pointed out. "I dare say you're as prepared as you can be until the task is announced. Now, how are you doing in catching up in your nonmagical subjects?"

"I'm doing pretty well in Chemistry," Harry began. "Not as good the Weasley Twins, but well. It's actually pretty simple. Um, I think I'm doing well in Algebra but I kinda feel like I'm pushing the symbols around on a piece of paper."

"A lot of people feel that way, Harry," Emily pointed out, "including me. I loathe math. I don't like science all of the time but I have a special hate in my heart for math."

"I understand a lot of the history stuff in how it connects to the world but I can't remember the dates."

"Neither can many people. If you don't believe how much history people forget, I'll pull up Jaywalking segments for you. You've got the big picture, which is encouraging."

"Okay. I've got to the part of The Count of Monte Cristo where Morrell's been rewarded and Dantes has declared it's time for the killing."

"Okay. That's a long book, Harry. I'm proud of you for getting that far. Catch up on whatever schoolwork you have and then relax. You deserve peace."

* * *

"You are to go down to the Quidditch field tonight at nine o'clock, Potter," McGonagall informed Harry. "Mr. Bagman will be there to tell the champions about the third task." Harry nodded, packed up, and steeled himself for what was to come. The third task would not be pretty.

"Worried?" Hermione asked. Harry nodded. "Just be careful, okay? I don't like how you're going to be facing death at night, either tonight or in the third task. Promise me you won't die, please. I couldn't stand losing you."

"Of course, Hermione," Harry replied. "I promise. I will be as careful as I can. Tomorrow, we start planning for real. I will not meet my end inside this bloody death trap."

"Language, Harry. You don't want to come off as not the Golden Boy of Gryffindor."

"You're one to talk, little Miss Brew-An-Illegal-Potion-In-Second-Year."

"I'm not glued to the sheeple's pedestal."

"Sheeple?"

"Sheeplike people. You know, easily led? It's generally used by conspiracy theorists to refer to non-conspiracy theorists."

"So, the entirety of pureblooded magical Britain."

"Basically."

* * *

"What d'you reckon it's going to be?" Cedric asked. "Fleur keeps going on about underground tunnels; she reckons we've got to find treasure." That was actually a fairly good idea; it would both be challenging and not explicitly life-threatening.

"That wouldn't be too bad," Harry commented. "What do you think it'll be?"

"Oh, I think it'll be a race or something." Harry struggled not to roll his eyes as the approached the Quidditch field, which wasn't quite so flat and neat anymore. "What've they done to it?" Harry squinted to focus on the hedges.

"They're hedges!" Harry said, excited. He'd always been good at hedge mazes…

"Hello there!" Bagman called cheerfully. "Well, what d'you think? Growing nicely, aren't they. Give them a month and Hagrid'll have them twenty feet high. Don't worry," Bagman comforted as he looked at Cedric's indignant frown, "you'll have your Quidditch field back to normal once the task is over! Now, I imagine you can guess what we're making here?" The champions looked at Bagman for a moment, wondering if he was kidding. They weren't four-year-olds, after all…

"Maze," Krum grunted finally.

"That's right" Bagman replied. "A maze. The third task's really very straightforward. The Triwizard Cup will be placed in the center of the maze. The first champion to touch it will receive full marks."

"We simply have to get through the maze?" Fleur asked, disbelieving.

"There will be obstacles," Bagman said with the same cheerful tone he had used to announce the dragons and merpeople. "Hagrid is providing a number of creatures… then there will be spells that must be broken… all that sort of thing, you know. Now, the champions who are leading on points will get a head start into the maze. Then Mr. Krum will enter… then Mr. Diggory… then Miss Delacour. But you'll all be in with a fighting chance, depending on how well you get past the obstacles. Should be fun, eh?" The champions had learned by now that Bagman's definition of fun was objectively awful. "Very well… if you haven't got any questions, we'll go back up to the castle, shall we, it's a bit chilly…"

The champions quickly left. None of them saw the babbling shadow of the man Barty Crouch used to be or the face of the man claiming to be Alastor Moody lit up with emerald green eyes; their thoughts were instead dedicated to plans and hedge mazes and sleep. It would be five weeks before Fang dug up the corpse-bone; by then, of course, the whole tragedy was over. The time and place were set; the ending was predetermined.

Predetermined by who, it was hard to say. Was is the Ministry's doing, through their unwillingness to change or prosecute the Death Eaters? Was it Voldemort's doing, through his scheme to get his body back? Was it Hogwart's doing, through letting a Death Eater (well, two actually) into the school unwatched and undetected? Was it the doing of Beauxbatons and Durmstrang, through encouraging the Triwizard Task to begin anew? Was it Liberty's doing, through forcing the Triwizard into an even bigger and more insane spectacle? Was it Dumbledore's doing, through failing to prevent the entry of Harry? Or was it the doing of Harry himself, through refusing to die and failing to find a way out of the tournament?

There was plenty of blame to spread around after the fact. However, the fact was already set in stone; on June 24th, 2015, Voldemort would rise. Someone would die. The Boy Who Lived would escape to fight another day. There would be outrage. There would be denial. There would be a funeral. Only the little details were still up in the air as the champions began to plan in earnest.

* * *

 **Welcome back! The usual policies are in order, of course. So, without further ado:**

 **Jaywalking segments involved Jay Leno asking random people on the streets of New York City questions about the US government, Constitution, and history.**

 **This is a legit part of CoMC but the revenge getting takes a while after it.**

 **And that also is totally not foreshadowing!**

 **See you next week! Review!**


	27. Preparations of Some Importance

**The basis of this chapter is Goblet of Fire. I do not own said book.  
**

* * *

"Okay, so the task is a massive hedge maze," Emily declared during planning. "Well, a hedge maze-obstacle course hybrid, but still basically a hedge maze. We don't know what's going into the maze so we can't prepare well on that end."

"Emily, you're forgetting the most important part of mazes," Julia pointed out. "It doesn't matter how well you can face obstacles if you get lost."

"Point Me is pretty basic."'

"Yes," Edith agreed. "Point Me is spell number one in magical orienteering and navigation because it is so simple. What they don't tell you when you learn it is that it is easily disrupted or blocked because of its simplicity."

"How would they be able to block it?" Harry asked.

"Redirection wards would work just fine," Isi replied. "You wouldn't even need a powerful lode or a base at all to do it."

"Lode? Base?" Hermione looked confused.

"A lode is an object the powers wards," Nita explained, "sometimes living, sometimes a battery crystal. A base is a set of runes or writing, generally on stone, of the ward scheme's rules. The wards wouldn't require a lot of power or work for very long but they would be enough to screw you up."

"The hedges themselves could be the lode with this simple a task," Sara added.

"You're assuming they need to use magic," Logan argued. Point Me Cardinal works off of Earth's magnetic field like a normal compass. Enough iron, cobalt, or nickel in the ground would screw it up in the area."

"Hell, they could put a couple magnets in the maze or under it and Point Me would fail," Liz commented.

"Would we be able to see the sky?" Harry wondered. "Astronomy can be a bit of a wooly course for navigation if you're not careful but the North Star always points, well, North."

"We can't be sure there isn't visual manipulation in there," Julia reasoned. "I think we should work on the standard maze-navigation techniques. You know, Random Mouse, Wall Follower, Pledge, Tremaux-"

"Random mouse takes too long."

"Wall follower won't work because the end is in the middle."

"Pledge won't work for the same reason."

"Tremaux assumes that the marks would stay in place and the maze doesn't move."

"So we're more or less stuck wandering until someone finds the cup?" Hermione asked.

"That seems about right," Amber agreed. "Maybe worse."

"We can't assume anything about the maze that makes any standard, proven strategies _work_ ," Kayla explained. "This means we can't use standard strategies, even overhead ones. Well, we couldn't do overheads anyways since you'd be inside the maze."

"So completion of the task relies on facing challenges?" Emily asked. Erik nodded. "Oh God, this is a death trap."

"Not disagreeing with you on that."

"There's no proof to back disagreement up."

* * *

"So this is a literal death trap?" Joanna asked. "As in, a limited area filled with potentially lethal obstacles?"

"I'm more worried about it being a battle royale," Beth commented offhandedly. "Five teenagers armed with potentially lethal weapons with lethal traps and only one way out."

"Hogwarts isn't the Capitol, Beth," Emily argued.

"Oh, you sweet summer child, I beg to differ. My third and last year at Hogwarts, there were four deaths."

"That was at the height of the war," Harry pointed out.

"It's not excusable. I should amend my statement; there were four deaths and no investigations. Three other people were maimed," Beth added.

"Okay, this could be a battle royale but it hopefully won't be," Emily amended. "There's no way to prepare for that in three and a half weeks."

"Still, you should practice basic defense and offense, maybe not-so-basic martial magic. Care of Magical Creatures would also be useful," Beth remarked thoughtfully.

"Better yet, don't go for glory and just spend the task in a dead end," Lamia muttered.

"Haven't we told you about the deadly beasts and potentially shifting walls?" Emily asked.

"Okay, so that isn't the best plan, but avoiding other competitors is still a better idea than not," Lamia defended.

"Why can't you just get a big blowtorch and set the hedges on fire?" Joanna asked.

"We are unsure whether or not that would work. You know, magic hedges."

"Still, it's a _blowtorch_. It can't be that bad," Joanna scoffed. "Also, do you think they'll consider you using nonmagical implements as a likely probability?"

"They're stupid, but not that stupid," Hermione pointed out.

"They might be," Harry grumbled.

"Do you really want to count on that?" Emily asked. "If we're wrong and we leave that as Plan A, it wouldn't end prettily."

"Well, it's the most cohesive plan we have-"

"True," Harry admitted.

"-and it's unlikely we're going to get a more sensible plan," Joanna finished. "It relies on the things we know to be true: there will be a hedge maze, we need to navigate it, and adult wizards are idiots."

"I resent that statement," Beth declared.

"We're not talking about you, Beth. We're talking about Dumbledore," Joanna argued.

"In which case, I agree wholeheartedly." Harry looked at Beth oddly. She didn't seem to be joking.

"Okay. I'm guessing there's a story there but I don't want to hear it," Emily commented.

"You really don't. Just be careful, got it? I don't want any deaths there." Beth's tone was stern. "Any more, anyways," she muttered under her breath.

"Okay, Beth. We'll take care and be safe," Emily promised. Her fingers were crossed behind her back.

"Good. I don't want more blood on my hands."

"More blood?" Harry asked.

"Don't ask me, I won't ask you, now get some sleep and stay vigilant!" The video chat ended.

* * *

 **Welcome back! The usual policies are in order, of course. So, without further ado:**

 **Yeah, Point Me seems to be a lot like a compass. You can screw up a compass with a refrigerator magnet. Also, magic solutions probably have magic failures, just like how normal solutions have normal failures.** **Point Me Cardinal is the standard Point Me. It works off of cardinal directions. I'm guessing that this spell could be made to point at a specific object fairly easily. Iron, nickel, and cobalt are the only metals that are magnetic at room temperature.**

 **These are the basic maze strategies, as found by Wikipedia. They wouldn't work for the stated reasons.**

 **Reasons why the third task was a bad idea are plentiful and obvious.**


	28. Mazes of Some Importance

**The basis of this chapter is Goblet of Fire. I do not own said book.  
**

* * *

Harry took his copy of _The Daily Prophet_ , gave it one look, and tossed into the fireplace. This was Skeeter's fifth or so article on him in under a month. It was starting to get annoying. At least this one didn't question his sanity. Hermione pecked him on the cheek and walked off to Binns' class for her History of Magic exam. After she left, McGonagall came up to him.

"Potter, the champions are congregating in the chamber off the Hall after breakfast," McGonagall announced.

"But the task's not till tonight!" Harry wondered why they were meeting up.

"I'm aware of that, Potter," McGonagall shot him a death glare. "The champions' families are invited to watch the final task, you know. This is simply a chance for you to greet them."

"But the Dursleys sure as hell aren't coming-" Harry was cut off.

"I know, Potter. All has been arranged. Five points from Gryffindor for language." Harry quickly finished his breakfast and joined the other champions in walking to the side room. Curiously, Harry entered to find not only the families of the other contestants but also a few somewhat familiar faces.

"Surprise!" Sister Elizabeth called, holding the leash of a large black dog in one hand and the hand of a nine-year-old girl in the other. Joanna was holding the girl's other hand. "McGonagall asked us to come. For support, you know."

"Really?" Harry asked.

"Yep," Joanna replied, popping the "p". "Lamia wanted to come but she has to stay until after lessons. She'll be here later. This is Susie." The little girl waved. Behind them, Krum was talking with a gruff man who looked like him and an Amazonian woman who shared his eyes. Emily was laughing, surrounded by a large group of people. Fleur was chatting with Gabrielle and a beautiful woman who had to be her mother. Cedric was awkwardly listening to a man with his hair talk loudly. "Now, Harry, I haven't been here before. Mind giving us a tour?" Harry nodded and they walked off.

"Is Cadogan still hanging around?" Beth asked.

"The kooky knight?" Harry asked.

"Yes, that one."

"Yeah. His portrait's near the Divination tower."

"This place still teaches Divination?"

"Yep."

"Wonderful. How's Hermione?"

"She's taking her last exam right now."

"Good. I was worried, you know, with those letters…"

"Nothing can keep a girl like Hermione down."

"Oh, don't I know it." With that, the group waited outside the History of Magic Classroom for the bushy-haired girl. within minutes, Hermione skipped out to meet them.

"I think that went rather well. Harry, What are Sister Elizabeth and Joanna doing here?" Hermione asked. Joanna laughed.

"Professor McGonagall… convinced us into being Harry's personal spectators for the task," Beth explained.

"Personal spectators?"

"We're here as Harry's advisors, to watch him perform and see if anything affects him disproportionately," Joanna explained. "You need four legal adults per contestant. Lamia and her mother are the other two and they'll be here in a bit."

"That sounds like fun," Hermione commented. Sure enough, Lamia and her mother (a tall woman with laughing eyes wearing long, dark clothing and a hijab) were in the Great Hall at lunch, talking animatedly about the final task.

Emily's collection of aunts, uncles, cousins, and siblings seemed excited as well. Harry nearly choked on his soup when he saw just how many Falk children there were. Emily didn't seem to mind; she had grown used to the chaos. The rest of the day proceeded in much of the same manner until after dinner, where Harry had been too nervous to eat much.

"Ladies and gentlemen, in five minutes' time, I will be asking you to make your way down to the Quidditch field for the third and final task of the Triwizard Tournament," Dumbledore announced. "Will the champions please follow Mr. Bagman down to the stadium now?"

"Good luck!" Hermione hissed as Harry left.

"Feeling alright, Harry? Confident?" Bagman asked as they walked down to the pitch. Harry rolled his eyes.

"I'm okay," Harry replied ambiguously. He was nervous but this would all be over within an hour. McGonagall and a squad of other teachers stood at the maze's mouth.

"We are going to be patrolling the outside of the maze," McGonagall informed them. "If you get into difficulty and wish to be rescued, send red sparks into the air and one of us will come and get you. Do you understand?" The champions nodded.

"Off you go, then!" Bagman cheered as he left to go to the spectator box.

"Good luck, Harry," Hagrid whispered. Soon enough, Harry was alone with the other competitors, looking into the dark entrance of a maze that could kill him or set him free; he didn't know which would happen yet.

* * *

"Ladies and gentlemen, the third and final task of the Triwizard Tournament is about to begin! Let me remind you how the points currently stand! Tied for first place, with 85 points each - Miss Emily Falk of Liberty Institute, Mr. Cedric Diggory of Hogwarts School, and Mr. Harry Potter, also of Hogwarts School!" Bagman cheered.

"Of course those three are tied," Melinda muttered.

"In second place, with 80 points - Mr. Viktor Krum, of Durmstrang Institute!"

"The Quidditch star?" Lamia's mom asked.

"Yep," Lamia replied.

"And in third place - Miss Fleur Delacour, of Beauxbatons Academy!"

"The Veela is in last place?" Beth sounded shocked.

"Apparently," Joanna answered.

"So… on my whistle, Emily, Harry, and Cedric! Three, two, one-" Bagman gave a short blast on his whistle and three champions disappeared. Soon afterwards, Krum and Fleur vanished into the maze as well.

"This is what we're watching all night?" Beth asked. "How are we supposed to counsel on fairness with this?"

"This feels like a setup," Matthews declared. "I think I know how this will end and I do not like it."

"Join the club, Annie," Phil muttered.

"Don't 'Annie' me, Philip John Falk. There are now five teenagers in a potentially lethal maze without backup. This is no time for nicknames!"

"Sorry, Matthews."

"Good. Now, let's see if anything goes too wrong."

* * *

Harry raced frantically along his empty path, trying to outrun the Blast-Ended Skrewt behind him. If he paused to send up sparks, he'd die. If he took a wrong turn into a dead end, he'd die. If he slowed, down, he'd die. He was almost to the cup. Two people had already sent up red sparks.

Hermione was going to be so mad at him.

Emily raced out from behind a blind corner. They both turned left as a well-aimed _Incendio_ found its mark. After catching their breath, the pair realized that the cup was sitting in the middle of the clearing they had found. They looked at each other.

"You want to get it?" Emily asked.

"Do you?"

"Not particularly. Together?"

"Sure."

"Okay, on the count of three. One, two-" Emily never finished the countdown as the Triwizard Cup was discovered to be a portkey. The two teenagers were jerked roughly off of their feet and landed in an abandoned-looking graveyard. "Harry, what's-"

 _"Kill the spare."_ Words that would be giving Harry nightmares for years to come found Emily lying on her back, eyes closed and unmoving.

* * *

 **Welcome back! The usual policies are in order, of course. So, without further ado:**

 **Considering the whole "death trap" element, requiring adults to watch the task for fairness towards their competitor would be wise. Having family members do this would seem intuitive as they know the champion best and probably wouldn't be bribed against them.**

 **Did I just kill my darling? Maybe.**


	29. Recurrences of Some Importance

**The basis of this chapter is Goblet of Fire. I do not own said book.  
**

* * *

"Emily and Harry are the last two in the maze."

"Yes, Theo, we know."

"Should we be worried?"

"Not yet."

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have our winner…" Bagman announced. All of a sudden, the maze started to fold down, trapping its dangerous inhabitants in conjured boxes. "Wait, where's the cup?" Sure enough, the clearing in the center of the maze, which had risen up like a podium, was empty.

"Okay, now can we be worried?"

"Yeah."

* * *

 _"Bone of the father, unknowingly given, you will renew your son!"_ White powder trickled up from a grave, turning the potion a violent shade of blue. Emily was still spread-eagled on her back maybe ten feet away.

 _"Flesh of the servant, willingly given, you will revive your master,"_ Pettigrew's voice wavered as he cut off his own right hand. The potion was now bright red and glowing. This couldn't end well.

 _"Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken, you will resurrect your foe!"_ Harry winced as Pettigrew dug the knife deeply into his right elbow, misgauging the pressure with his nondominant hand. The potion glowed white. Steam poured off of the cauldron. Out of the steam rose a man, skeletally thin and with red eyes. Harry gulped. This was among his worst fears.

Voldemort was back. He would face the Dark Lord alone, again.

* * *

"Where could they have gone?"

"Maybe the cup was a Portkey."

"Oh God… what if they're dead?"

"Don't say that. Just don't."

* * *

Slowly, wizards (and maybe a few witches) began to apparate into the graveyard. Each of them wore dark robes and a pale mask that shone in the dim light. Each of them paused to kiss the hem of Voldemort's robes before rising and forming a loose circle. When all of them had done so, there were still holes in the circle, left for people imprisoned, dead, or soon to die.

"Welcome, Death Eaters," Voldemort began. "Thirteen years… thirteen years since we last met. Yet you answer my call as though it were yesterday… We are still united under the Dark Mark, then! Or are we? I smell guilt. There is a stench of guilt upon the air. I see you all, whole and healthy, with your powers intact - such prompt appearances! - and I ask myself… why did this band of wizards never come to the aid of their master, to whom they swore eternal loyalty?

"And I answer myself; they must have believed me broken, they thought I was gone. They slipped back among my enemies, and they pleaded innocence, and ignorance, and bewitchment…

"And then I ask myself, but how could they have believed I would not rise again? They, who knew the steps I took, long ago, to guard myself against mortal death? They, who had seen proofs of the immensity of my power in the times when I was mightier than any wizard living?

"And I answer myself, perhaps they believed a still greater power could exist, one that could vanquish even Lord Voldemort… perhaps they now pay allegiance to another… perhaps that champion of commoners, of mudbloods and muggles, Albus Dumbledore? It is a disappointment to me… I confess myself disappointed…"

"Master! Master, forgive me! Forgive us all!" one begged.

" _Crucio!_ Get up, Avery. Stand up. You ask for forgiveness? I do not forgive. I do not forget. Thirteen long years… I want thirteen years' repayment before I forgive you. Wormtail here has paid some of his debt already, have you not, Wormtail? You returned to me, not out of loyalty, but out of fear of your old friends. You deserve this pain, Wormtail. You know that, don't you?"

"Yes, Master, please, Master… please…" Pettigrew whimpered. Harry swore he saw Emily's eyelid flicker.

"Yet you helped return me to my body. Worthless and traitorous as you are, you helped me… and Lord Voldemort rewards his helpers…" Suddenly, Pettigrew had a brand new, shining silver hand.

"My Lord… Master… it is beautiful… thank you… thank you…"

"May your loyalty never waver again, Wormtail."

"No, my Lord… never, my Lord…" Voldemort began to walk around the circle.

"Lucius, my slippery friend, I am told that you have not renounced the old ways, though to the world you present a respectable face. You are still ready to take the lead in a spot of Muggle-torture, I believe? Yet you never tried to find me, Lucius… Your exploits at the Quidditch World Cup were fun, I say… but might your energies have been better directed toward finding and aiding your master?"

"My Lord, I was constantly on the alert. Had there been any sign from you, any whisper of your whereabouts, I could have been at your side immediately, and nothing could have prevented me-"

"And yet you ran from my Mark, when a faithful Death Eater sent it into the sky last summer? Yes, I know all about that, Lucius… You have disappointed me… I expect more faithful service in the future."

"Of course, my Lord, of course… You are merciful, thank you…"

"The Lestranges should stand here but they are entombed in Azkaban. They were faithful. They went to Azkaban rather than renounce me… When Azkaban is broken open, the Lestranges will be honored beyond their dreams. The dementors will join us… they are our natural allies… we will recall the banished giants… I shall have all my devoted servants returned to me, and an army of creatures whom all fear…"

"Macnair… destroying dangerous beast for the Ministry of Magic now, Wormtail tells me? You shall have better victims than that soon, Macnair. Lord Voldemort will provide."

"Thank you Master… thank you."

"And here we have Crabbe… you will do better this time, will you not, Crabbe? And you, Goyle?"

"Yes, Master…"

"We will, Master…"

"The same goes for you, Nott."

"My Lord, I prostrate myself before you, I am your most faithful-"

"That will do. And here we have six missing Death Eaters… three dead in my service. One, too cowardly to return… he will pay. One, who I believe has left me forever… he will be killed, of course… and one, who remains my most faithful servant, and who has already reentered my service. He is at Hogwarts, that faithful servant, and it was through his efforts that our young friend arrived here late tonight… Yes, Harry Potter has kindly joined us for our rebirthing party. One might go so far as to call him my guest of honor."

"Master, we crave to know… we beg you to tell us… how you have achieved this… this miracle… how you managed to return to us…" Lucius begged. Harry kept his eyes trained on the maybe-not-quite-so-dead body of Emily, looking for a signal.

"Ah, what a story it is, Lucius, and it begins - and ends - with my young friend here…" There it was, a flash of blue. Harry bit down on his tears. This was not the time to act. As Voldemort rambled on, Harry reached into the back of his head, trying to form a plan, any plan.

* * *

"What the hell could be taking the two this long?"

"Ms. Kader, they were kidnapped."

"It's Emily Falk and Harry Potter, perhaps better known as Supergirl and Superboy. Nothing could take them this long."

"Maybe the baddie's monologuing…"

* * *

"Your friend is ready. Do it now. Be ready to run… do it now…" At that, Harry lifted his wand and a gunshot ripped through the air. Wormtail, with his shining hand, fell. Harry and Emily raced for the Portkey as spells raced past him, hexes that would put any duelist to shame. in desperation, they dived the last few feet, each grabbing a portkey handle

* * *

 **Welcome back! The usual policies are in order, of course. So, without further ado:**

 **The incantation and color of the poison are both taken directly from Goblet of Fire.**

 **A little dig both at Harry's near-immortality and at bad guys and their speeches.**

 **And no, she's not dead. I was quite honestly surprised at how many people (read: all of you usual suspects who know very well who you are) reviewed complaining about that bit. I honestly originally wrote that to see if killing your darling felt different from severely injuring/traumatizing your darling (not really) and to poke a bit at my friend, who she's based on. Explanation for continued survival is next chapter.**

 **See you next week!**


	30. Other Results of Some Importance

**The basis of this chapter is Goblet of Fire. I do not own said book.  
**

* * *

"What the hell?"

"I don't want to know."

"Looks like Pomfrey's tied up trying to appease the judges."

"Hermione, approximately how high is the stadium wall when measured from the field?"

"I think it's around five meters."

"Fifteen or sixteen feet? That's manageable."

"What… Irina!"

* * *

The crowd was screaming in chaos. Harry and Emily pushed themselves to their feet, holding the cup between them. Luckily, no one seemed to have tagged along. An annoyed-looking Amelia Bones was standing next to a flustered-looking Fudge and a panel of confused judges. Slowly, Hogwarts and Liberty began to cheer.

"You don't mention the whole 'escaping death' thing, I don't mention the wands," Emily muttered.

"Agreed… Did Irina seriously just vault the barrier?" Emily looked to see that, indeed, Irina was now on her feet inside the field.

"Oh, it's just Irina. That's not that big of a fall, really," Emily laughed. "Ow. Shit, I think one of my ribs is broken."

"Be glad that's all that you broke," Harry grumbled. Irina offered help to Lawrence and Beth. The three quickly raced over.

"Thank God you two are alive," Beth gasped. "What were you thinking? You could have died and it would've been all my fault and I don't need another dead kid in my dreams and-"

"Beth, calm down," Emily instructed. "It's not our fault we were delayed; some dumbass made the cup a Portkey. No fatal injuries all around with the possible exception of those KKK rejects; I've got a few cracked ribs and Harry has a nasty cut on his elbow."

"KKK rejects?" Harry asked.

"I think that's a pretty apt description," Emily retorted.

"They're Death Eaters, Emily, not 'KKK rejects'. Different thing entirely," Harry countered.

"Get Liz or one of the others from the South to tell you about the KKK sometime; that'll change your mind," Emily argued. "Trust me, that might be unfair to the Death Eaters; I mean, at least they knew when to stop."

"Really, you could ask any one of us who isn't White Anglo-Saxon Protestant for explanations," Irina added. "Or any non-WASP, especially those in the South in the fifties, for that matter."

"Do you have names?" Matthews asked, changing the subject.

"Sort of. Maybe. Can we talk about it later, without the risk of worsening injuries?" Emily asked.

"Soon. Get patched up." Harry and Emily nodded as Irina continued her work; while not a mediwitch yet, she had some well-developed medic skills.

"Harry, my boy, come into my office-" Dumbledore soon found a series of wands under his nose.

"I think their explanation of events should not be limited to one person, Headmaster Dumbledore. Don't you agree?" Matthews snapped. Dumbledore gulped as Madame Maxime nodded. "Whenever you're ready…"

"Well, the cup was a portkey to some graveyard," Harry began. "When we arrived there, someone said 'kill the spare'." People were beginning to disperse and parts of it were gathering around the champions.

"But Emily's still alive. Surely he didn't mean-" Fudge was cut off.

"He certainly tried to kill me," Emily interrupted. "He just missed; the spell knocked a piece of a stone angel at me that cracked a couple of my ribs. The blast knocked me back, so I looked like I was dead. Being in shock probably didn't help." Lawrence unconsciously wrapped his arm around his niece.

"Wormtail resurrected Voldemort," Harry continued.

"But he's not - he can't be-" Fudge was again interrupted.

"The Death Eaters came," Emily picked up the narrative, slightly louder. "They had a meeting, Harry was forced into a duel, I woke up. We ran for it. I think one of the Death Eaters might have gotten hit by friendly fire."

"Did you hear names?" Madam Bones, who had snuck up behind Fudge asked. "Purely for investigative purposes, of course."

"Fragments of them," Emily replied. "Avery, Lucius, Wormtail, Crabbe, Goyle, Nott, Macnair, the Lestranges, one too cowardly to return, one who he thinks has left him forever, and one here." Beth's eyes narrowed at the former Auror, who looked shocked. As he raised his wand, she quickly put him in a full body bind. "Probably him." Bones sniffed at Moody's flask.

"Polyjuice," she confirmed. "Did you seriously not notice this?"

"You did?"

"I haven't been here this whole year, Albus," Amelia countered. "You're his old friend. Didn't you notice any change in behavior?"

"Shouldn't you have a method of detecting imposters?" Matthews asked.

"Headmistress, could we please leave that argument to the Aurors? They're right here. Here, you can trace the portkey, too; I certainly don't want it." Dumbledore's face sank. Matthews smirked. Amelia Bones grinned.

"Indeed. Thank you, Miss Falk." Emily smiled in return and passed her the portkey.

"Okay, you two, off to bed," Matthews ordered. "Minerva, do you want Harry to go back to Gryffindor Tower or stay with us?"

"Considering that there is a criminal in the castle, with you. Mr. Potter, we will discuss tonight in the morning, along with your courses for next year and academic future." Harry nodded. Once the door to Dorothy was closed, Matthews turned to face them.

"Now, what actually happened?" Lawrence demanded.

"I got AK'd but the vest saved me," Emily admitted.

"Vest?"

"Wyvern hide with Parsel runes," Emily explained. "Essentially, the magic equivalent of Kevlar. Well, I think it's somewhat bulletproof, too… It was Loki's idea." Lawrence nodded.

"My wand did this weird thing with Voldemort's," Harry added.

"And I kinda shot Wormtail in the head," Emily rounded off the lies of omission. "He's dead now."

"Good to know," Lawrence muttered.

"Peter's really dead?" Sirius asked.

"He fell and stayed down," Harry replied. "Do you want to get his body?"

"The Aurors were planning to backtrack the Portkey," Edith pointed out. "We don't want to tamper with the evidence. Also, it's like midnight. Sleep now. Talk tomorrow."

"We're proud of you, sweetheart," Phil declared, yawning widely.

"Stay safe, baby girl. We'll see you soon!" Melinda called over her shoulder as she, Lawrence, and Phil stepped through the portal home; the rest of Emily's family had already left. Sirius turned into a dog as Beth and Joanna left, Lamia and her mother having given up at eleven thirty. In dog form, Sirius curled up at Harry's feet as the house resonated with the silence of sleeping teenagers. It had been a long night, setting off an even longer week, but the chaos was over for now.

* * *

 **Welcome back! The usual policies are in order, of course. So, without further ado:**

 **Yes, Irina jumped the fence. Yes, I know people who can do it safely.**

 **The KKK is a racist hate group that was well known for hate crimes. They still exist but don't act as much. I think I mentioned this before.**

 **That's my miracle explanation.**

 **See you next week! Oh, and on an ending note, the final chapter goes up next week. There'll be a sequel eventually, but it might take a while.**


	31. Endings of Some Importance

**The basis of this chapter is Goblet of Fire. I do not own said book.  
**

* * *

"Bye, guys!"

"Don't be strangers!"

"Keep in touch!" Dorothy was leaving back for home; the school year had passed and the Tournament ended. Emily and Harry had split the pot evenly and were thankful the madness revolving around them was over. While the Aurors didn't see Voldemort, the giant stone cauldron and (finally) dead body of Peter Pettigrew were sure to have their own stories to tell. Fudge was still denying the "Death Eater resurgence", as Amelia had taken to calling it; the Aurors didn't and couldn't share his naivety.

"This whole mess is getting a hearing stateside, so you might get summoned," Matthews warned. "Be careful!"

"See you!" With that, a small tornado formed and Dorothy was swept away, back into the clear sky just like they had most of a year before but leaving a different Hogwarts behind.

* * *

"They've left?"

"Yeah."

"Did you tell Emily?"

"Yeah. Did you tell Angelina?"

"She's on board. Are you ready, Mr. Weasley?"

"Sure, Mr. Weasley. When people look back on this time, they will remember the glory of Magical Mayhem!"

"Let's just thank Harry for giving us his money."

"And Loki for mentoring us in chaos."

"After all, we will be bringing joy and chaos to others for decades to come. They are out first supporters and they will be rewarded in the rapture!"

"Rapture?"

"Oops, shouldn't have said that."

* * *

"So."

"So."

"He's back?"

"Probably."

"You do know what you're probably going to need to do?"

"Yes."

"Are you ready to do it?"

" _Hell no_. I'm not becoming a sheep again. Plus, vows. I don't think I can."

"That's alright. Well, it's not alright but I can respect it."

"You shouldn't; I need to do this. It could be life and death. I won't become Lady McKinnon but I could become Regent McKinnon; when Joanna's 21, she can inherit this mess."

"Joanna's your heir?"

"Yes. I'm not exactly sure _how_ but she can wear McKinnon protective jewelry, which is limited to members of the family. Considering the other two members are me and a nine-year-old, I think it's safe to say that she's the next Lady McKinnon. I need to check with the Ministry and Gringotts on that. When she's of overtaking age, she can become Lady McKinnon if she wants to be and I'll wrangle a few of the other kids into bodyguard duty. Al and Emily could manage it, I think."

"You're willing to be Regent?"

"I'm still thinking about that."

"Good. When you're ready, we can go together. It's time for a Lord Black who isn't a Death Eater."

* * *

"Hello, Ms. Matthews. What can I do for you today?"

"Ambassador Jenkins-"

"-oh God, the _'Ambassador Jenkins'_ is never a good thing. What happened?"

"A dark lord called Voldemort got resurrected about a week ago. Communication to you from me was blocked during that time period. The DoJ Magic Commission probably already knows about it."

"Voldemort? Seriously, _'flight from death'_?"

"Did I mention he tried to kill a fourteen-year-old and seventeen-year-old?"

"Ours?"

"The seventeen-year-old was Emily Falk. The fourteen-year-old was falsely entered into the Triwizard Tournament as a secondary Hogwarts champion."

"Why are we so worried?"

"Imagine a magical British KKK. You know we have enough extremists over here as is."

"You're worried about the spread of ideas?"

"And outright attacks on US soil."

"Does Sheri know yet?"

"Macdonald was going to tell her today."

"Good. One of our citizens was put into serious danger-"

"- more than one, if you count the tournament at large. Again, DoJMC."

"-and we can't tolerate that! Wait, which other citizen was in danger?"

"Haven't you been getting my reports?"

"No."

"Well, it's a long story. We were asked by the DoJMC to check in on the tournament, and I thought the best method of doing that would be to enter..."

* * *

"Headmistress Macdonald?"

"Ambassador Benson-"

"What happened?"

"Do you remember the Tournament?"

"Yes."

"A fourteen-year-old - not ours - was entered, a five-year-old American was put into grave danger, and our champion, along with the fourteen-year-old, almost died."

"Oh. Does Lynn know?"

"Matthews was going to tell her. Oh, and there's kind of a resurrected Dark Lord."

"Brilliant. Did you think this would happen?"

"No."

"We will be having a talk about accidental endangerment during these trials, Mary."

"I know and accept that."

"Good."

* * *

Hermione kissed Harry on the cheek as they left the Hogwarts Express. Harry blushed as they made their way to the barrier. Hermione laughed.

"Now, remember, we'll be coming for you in two weeks," Hermione said nervously as they waited for the signal to leave. "If you feel in danger, any at all-"

"Call your parents," Harry finished. "Yeah, 'Mione, I know. I'll be careful. If your parents or someone else doesn't come before three weeks, I will ditch the Dursleys and go to your parents' clinic, claiming my name as James Johnson for wisdom teeth extraction. If I can't do that, I call Loki for help."

"Good. Just be careful. I've kept you alive far too long for you to die on me now. Do you have your Muggle Studies materials?"

"Yes. I'll work through as far as I can as well as doing the school homework and remedial coursework McGonagall gave me. We'll check answers when we meet again. Love you," Harry said as they were permitted through.

"Love you too! I'll see you soon!"

"Happy summer break, Hermione!"

* * *

"Al! I haven't seen you in forever!"

"I missed you, Emmy. Hey, where's that boyfriend of yours?"

"He's in England. You know, with his family. I have him a modded cell for communication."

"Shame. I liked him."

"He'll be over in a few weeks, I think. How was school?"

"Marion is a bitch, Mrs. Bell is even worse, there were tests, Mindy Morrison got pregnant, and Inez almost had a nervous breakdown or three."

"So nothing new."

"Mike got suspended for throwing frog guts into James' hair."

"Good for Mike."

"Not for James. He had inspection after bio."

"Well, James' life is a perennial collection karma interest."

"Well, he got Kate as a girlfriend."

"Finally!"

"Oh, the latest _Heroes of Olympus_ book came out."

"Give."

"Give what?"

"You know what."

"My sweatshirt? This banana?"

"The copy of _Blood of Olympus_ hidden in your bag."

"Oh, that. Here. Avoid Jemma until you finish it; I can't believe you got her hooked on this series."

"Jem loves urban fantasy. And high fantasy. And low fantasy. It wasn't hard."

"Well, sis… welcome home."

"It's not the home I left, for sure."

"You never return to the same place you left; it changes or you change. That's the point of leaving."

"No, it's the point of returning."

* * *

 **Welcome back! The usual policies are in order, of course. So, without further ado:**

 **The store in this version is called Magical Mayhem because it's not soley owned or contributed to by the Weasleys.**

 **It makes sense that there would be more governmental oversight than there actually is in the books. I essentially assigned a random member of Congress and a random member of Canadian Parliament to do the job. Accidental endangerment would be a charge well known to the magical world of Harry Potter at this point if there was oversight.**

 **Harry's trying to catch up in other Hogwarts electives.**

 **And we end with Emily going home, albeit a very different home.**

 **As I said last week, this is the last chapter of NAT. There is a sequel in the works, but it might be a while before I publish it. Until then, goodbye.**


End file.
